I'm a 32 year old male, father of four and happily married, but I'm afraid that my borderline personality disorder is back and hurting my family.
I was diagnosed four years ago after suffering from depression alcohol and drug abuse, I was in a bad place and put myself into hospital and from there I got the help and understanding I needed, after about 8-12 months I was able to get off the medication which was for more the depression not the BPD, I then met my wife and have not looked back, up until about 6 months ago I noticed I would snap easily and turn small inconveniences into a MASSIVE deal, I hate that I can get so frustrated so easily and I feel like its taking a toll on my family, I can see this in them and it hurts me more so I hurt myself when no one is around, I have over the years had about 8 different jobs and have made excuses to leave all of them and I'm never confident in what I do, I have pushed family and friends away and as of now only have one friend and the everyone else is family, none of which really know or understand what BPD is, I have recently been doing some mindfulness work and have gone back to my doctor to start a new mental health plan but in between all this I am still struggling with anxiety being unmotivated and having very bad mood swings from being really happy and ready for the day to hating everything and everything I do is wrong or not working, I need help to control these BPD attacks because I don't want my family to suffer because of my BPD
