Anyone influenced by their music, or do they think their emotions, dictate their music?
I'm feeling like sometimes my music dictates my mood, and other times my mood dictates what I want to hear. I sometimes listen to sad music, and it puts me in a space, UN-attached from my emotions, but I feel the mood and context of the music subjectively, other times, I hear the tonality, and it changes my mood/and, or perception of my 'self' mood, then there are times, I clearly perceive the difference between which is dictating which. and those days are really hard for me to get through, because I feel happy, I know things are good, and I just have a niggle that pushes me one way or another, and I then somehow, WHOLEHEARTEDLY fall into that grade in my mentality, and sometimes that can really put me into a week/month long mood of said period.
Example; start Jan. Mediocrity, ensuing, personal AND family, AND best friend issues lead to mediocre end Jan, birthday call to dad.
1 wk before partners b'day, few drinks, next day kids, school, nothing SPECIAL, quick bite out with partner, time, between1-2:30, feeling loss of perception of self, something weird, loss of visual focus, to the point of grasping partners arm and making him stop to let me get my grounding. He was a total champ on HIS birthday for ME, because some kind of stress just GRIPPED ME, thankgod he drove home.
then for a week or 2 after that, just didn't feel like myself, AT ALL, and felt like I was seeing everything from the outside perspective, and not understanding certain choices of my own making.
then things STARTED getting better, and some skin condition on my hands errupted, now still falling a little behind in planning an 8 yr old's birthday, for fear of not having given her a fun-filled child-of own age- ridden party YET. the school mothers are mostly what scares me the most about that, I fear by April, I will be too burnt out for my own birthday to do anything other than sit in a corner rocking, and my partner love him, will do whatever I want, I know, but for now my freak-out is trying to help my child. HOW do parents cope with these situations towards their child? how do you handle the stress and then explain it to a 5 and 8 yr old, or not, but put it into their perspective, without awakening something that may haunt them? without making them worry or think they'll genetically inherit nuances? so does this pre-dispose them by nurture or nature? They more prone genetically or thought-influenced?
