music and some anxious and/or depressive thoughts? how to cope? any suggestions?

[SonjaKS7]

Anyone influenced by their music, or do they think their emotions, dictate their music?
I'm feeling like sometimes my music dictates my mood, and other times my mood dictates what I want to hear. I sometimes listen to sad music, and it puts me in a space, UN-attached from my emotions, but I feel the mood and context of the music subjectively, other times, I hear the tonality, and it changes my mood/and, or perception of my 'self' mood, then there are times, I clearly perceive the difference between which is dictating which. and those days are really hard for me to get through, because I feel happy, I know things are good, and I just have a niggle that pushes me one way or another, and I then somehow, WHOLEHEARTEDLY fall into that grade in my mentality, and sometimes that can really put me into a week/month long mood of said period.
Example; start Jan. Mediocrity, ensuing, personal AND family, AND best friend issues lead to mediocre end Jan, birthday call to dad.
1 wk before partners b'day, few drinks, next day kids, school, nothing SPECIAL, quick bite out with partner, time, between1-2:30, feeling loss of perception of self, something weird, loss of visual focus, to the point of grasping partners arm and making him stop to let me get my grounding. He was a total champ on HIS birthday for ME, because some kind of stress just GRIPPED ME, thankgod he drove home.
then for a week or 2 after that, just didn't feel like myself, AT ALL, and felt like I was seeing everything from the outside perspective, and not understanding certain choices of my own making.
then things STARTED getting better, and some skin condition on my hands errupted, now still falling a little behind in planning an 8 yr old's birthday, for fear of not having given her a fun-filled child-of own age- ridden party YET. the school mothers are mostly what scares me the most about that, I fear by April, I will be too burnt out for my own birthday to do anything other than sit in a corner rocking, and my partner love him, will do whatever I want, I know, but for now my freak-out is trying to help my child. HOW do parents cope with these situations towards their child? how do you handle the stress and then explain it to a 5 and 8 yr old, or not, but put it into their perspective, without awakening something that may haunt them? without making them worry or think they'll genetically inherit nuances? so does this pre-dispose them by nurture or nature? They more prone genetically or thought-influenced?

[blondguy]

Hi Sonja

Paul here and a warm welcome to the BB Forums

Just my opinion but the feelings you experienced were anxiety feelings...the loss of sensory perception...loss of visual focus.. You have acknowledged your feelings Sonja and thats the first big step in healing..Nice one!

To answer your question about explaining these 'bad feelings' to your children. ..Anxiety thoughts are dreadful..absolutely...but remember they are still 'thoughts' brought on by many factors whether it may be a hectic lifestyle or a serious life event ...moving house....a death in the family...work pressure..the list does go on Sonja. Anxious feelings are primarily a physical issue with your adrenaline pumping away...the trigger for this is not as important (yes..interesting) as the way you handle them...

Your Children are precious and a wonderful part of your life (a 5 and an 8 yr old). I had anxiety for a few years and my little daughter was the same age...I just treated her (on the advice from my therapist) with the respect she deserved and told her...'dad isnt feeling very well right now'...Thats the easy part. After that I quickly made an appointment with my GP and cried my eyes out...yes I did...Then the healing began to kick in...after I vented to my great female GP who I was comfortable with...which is a huge help of course...

As a guy with anxiety I wanted to heal...and then they said it will take a 'long time'...ugh! But recovery started..

Genetic passing on?...Nope....Your home environment will reflect more in your childrens upbringing that your anxiety feelings ever will Sonja...

There is no direct link towards your children and your anxious feelings.....

If your children know you are 'not well' to start with...even with a physical reason..they just need to know that 'mum isnt well at the moment'...The detail is not pertinent at their age...

Your GP has much better training nowadays than when I was going through these dreadful feelings of anxiety..It is crucial that you book in and tell her/him what you have so courageously tonight..You will feel better...

Anxiety does reduce in severity and does dissipate after time....(there is always good news)

You are a very strong and intelligent person Sonja...please dont over analyze right now...If you wish it would be great to hear from you soon

Kind Thoughts

Paul

[blondguy]

Im sorry to double post you Sonja..

Music...It is one of many keys that 'unlock your soul'....A great healer...its late so I will keep it brief....With her Lyrics aside...One of the best (just for me of course) tracks that helps me heal is....'I Go To Sleep' by Sia...

During the day I used to have the FM music stations on but after I started to get the anxiety feelings I had to turn off to 'slow' my thinking down to help me heal...so I just put on the boring stations....They did help me slow down a lot but I must admit I miss turning up the car stereo to a really good fast track....

Be 'Gentle' to yourself Sonja

Paul

[white knight]

Hi Sonja, welcome

Paul has covered most of what I would say. He certainly gets it.

Music has dictated my mood for many of my young years. I'm now 60yo. I have also had anxiety (now licked) and even though I'm recovered from it (it took 25 years for me) my sensitivity to music is still there. But I have dysthymia a low mood illness, depression, am sometimes manic and also I have bipolar type 2. So with such a mix who knows why music can push my buttons.?

I do listen to a wise man though tha tplaces things into perspective. Google-  "Prem Rawat Maharaji sunset" and Prem Rawat Maharaji the perfect instrument". He is an amazing individual that makes sense. He has many youtube clips. He became a leader at 9yo in his Indian village.

Tony WK

[Dennis38]

For me I have to be careful with what I listen to or watch, as these will trigger my depression to go deeper on certain days. I know these days so I avoid sad songs or sad movies, or if I am in a manic stage I really try my best to stay away from super happy or super sad songs. LIke right now I am depressed and truly angry with the world well my world at any rate so I avoid as much stimulation as I can, from music to TV to dealing with people in general.

[geoff]

dear Sonja, hello and thanks for posting.
Can I just answer your first statement 'Anyone influenced by their music, or do they think their emotions, dictate their music', before going into detail with the rest of your comment.
My answer is absolutely yes, because I might be driving alone listening to a radio station and then a song which I have always loved comes on and starts to play, or I'm listening to a cd I've burnt and also a song comes on which then hits a nerve, well it can then make me remember of something which I have always associated this song with, it could be something sad or it could be of something that I was proud of, or even excited about, so the song takes me back to what ever mood it made me feel.
So let's say that this song meant a great deal awhile ago, because it was something that I was going to do or perhaps say to somebody I had a crush on, but never said it to her because I was too embarrassed, but it takes me back to having those feelings.
Or it was a song which always reminded me of a family member who has now passed away, so in other words music I love to hear can influencwe my mood or indeed the opposite can also happen. Geoff. x

[SonjaKS7]

Hi Paul,
Thanks for responding, I'm feeling somewhat better today, but things are still just not feeling right.
interesting to know the perception and visual are actually a symptom of ANXIETY, I honestly never would have picked that, I mean, I know the body does some odd things under different types of stress, but I thought it was more a feeling, I never realized it could actually manifest as a physical sign.
In regards to my children, they SEEM to take it in their stride, but it still bothers me thinking about how seeing me in not the best way could make things hard for them.

in regards to making my way towards healing, I think it's about time I find a new GP, my current one seems to be very overbooked these days and it's VERY difficult to get back in to see her, as well as I've been feeling slightly un-comfortable seeing her lately, she's in a rush and I've been SO rushed in and out, I've been missing my primary reason for seeing her.

As for the music.... WELL, there's days I'm fine, like I'm balanced, then there's days that even classical music actually makes me feel so impassioned by whichever mood/emotional state I am in, regardless of the context and tonality of the music.
and LYRICS, I seem to have a tendency for obsessively focusing on lyrics, and in some twisted way, allocating them to my mood/issues.

any who, all in all, I am definitely feeling a little better today, than I was last night.
and just out of curiosity, is it possible to faint from a panic attack? or at the very least FEEL like you'll pass out?
Cheers once again for the responses, and I appreciate the helpfullness.

[SonjaKS7]

OH MY GOODNESS DENNIS,
I could not think of a better way to sum it up. I think I'm becoming an introvert, some days I just wish every other human being would disappear, and I could walk around without any worries or cares!
I'm slowly finding that as you said, any kind of stimuli (music, telly, overcrowded places) is beginning to mess with my thoughts, and change my moods, the issue though, how do you avoid these simple things that are on when you are stuck in a situation to do the groceries, or running errands?
I find I absolutely struggle, I can't stand driving with no noise, I like the distraction from having feelings of racing thoughts, and almost as if I'm being flooded with adrenaline while I'm driving, BUT on the other hand I don't like to get stuck in a situation of feeling like things are looking up, and then I hear a song that impacts me, and completely shifts the mood from possibly being bearable to suddenly thinking everything is wrong, and vice versa.
Thanks for your response too by the way.
I hope you start feeling better very soon, and I'm happy to hear what might be troubling you if you feel like having a chat one time.

[Maureen]

Hello sonjaKS7, good to hear you are feeling slightly better. I hope that continues. I, like the other posts, have to be very careful what music or tv I listen to. Most t.v. is now not bearable, it raises my anxiety levels or makes me very sad. I usually turn it off and put music on. I, like you, need noise in the background. I looove heavy rock. I find it lifts my moods considerably. Weirdly I too am now enjoying g classical music. I usually stop what I'm doing to just listen. The intricacies of the various instruments playing intrigue me, and again lift my moods. I've never listened to classical before so went on iTunes and got 100 most popular classical songs. It's beautiful. It comes up randomly when I put my iPod on shuffle. Lovely.

It sounds to me you definitely need a new gp. You need someone who has the time to spend with you. Are you seeing a psychologist? If you can find one you are compatible with they are very helpful. I just changed GPs as mine kept saying she didn't know how to help me except to just listen. My new gp has additional training in psychology, hypnotherapy and acupuncture. Luckily I also like her. So far the acupuncture is really helping with my anxiety levels. I had tried it previously but it only helped for a few hours. Tomorrow is my first hypnotherapy session, again for anxiety. Wish me luck.

You can most definitely feel faint from a panic attack. It raises your blood pressure, heart rate, usuAlly accompanied by racing thoughts. Not pleasant, quite scary. Check out the heartmath institute. They provide assistance with your breathing that you can practice.

Happy to chat if you feel like it.

Maureen

[Dennis38]

Hey Sonja, part of the trick to dealing with these triggers is to KNOW your own triggers. And then the hardest part KNOW yourself. You see I have had 16 years of dealing with this crap that is going on in my head. I have had one mean ass wake up call so I have learned myself enough to know when I need to avoid my triggers. And if I can not avoid them, say as you said going out to the shops, I make sure that I am aware of my own mood, and try to keep a lid on it...then there are days ( a lot of late come to think of it) that if I HAVE to go out, I put my head phones on and crank some techno on as loud as I can handle, the reasoning behind this is that the brain stops worrying about little things like large crowds of people bumping into me, kicking my cane, taking up the same air (that one is just silly but it does enter my head now and then again) that I am and they will make it so no one can breath if they keep sucking up all the oxygen the *bleeped bleep bleeps* when your eyeballs are throbbing so hard that the brain is pretty sure that they are tring to make a break for it!!! Basicly if you can't avoid the triggers best thing to do is be aware of them so that when they DO get tripped you can kind of manage the feelings and to help keep you a LITTLE bit more calm then if you were caught off guard.

The true key is two fold, know yourself, (as in what kind of mood you are in, when you start listening to yourself and start feeling your emotions you will know when to avoid triggers and when you are doing "ok" ) and knowing your triggers.  We all have own triggers and the only person that can truly tell you what your triggers are is you.