Moving to a new place and regretting my life decisions

[Guest_21750272]

Don’t really know how to word this well but I’ve recently moved to a new place and I wish I could move back to what I am familiar with being closer to family. Also struggling with my past life decisions, financial and having no friends after moving. I guess just wanting some advice and what others have done to help, just feels like nothings going right as I get older and I just feel stuck:(

[randomxx]

Hi there op and sorry about your feelings in the way things are going. l do understand though and going through similar at near 60ish now. Great timing !

Moves and that side of things, long story for me and a bit complicated right now to for sure.

But in your case, do you actually like where you've moved to ?  Maybe some time, these things do take lots of time resettling in. Maybe in time though if you do like it there, you'll start to feel better and begin enjoying it.

Sorta situation l'm in myself right now , it's only been a few mths and probably only temporary for the moment. l have left my old house though and l am open to maybe liking it here enough to maybe even stay if l do soooo, must admit kinda quietly hoping l do like t here tbh but atm it's a bit of a trial and see .

lt does all take time though and maybe for you to , things might fall into shape. You might even start liking that space between family and your own life later on.

Let us know how it's all going.

Good luck anyway.

rx

rx

[Summer Rose]

Hi and welcome to the forum.

From my life experience of moving countries and personal understanding of homesickness, I can tell you that life is simply too short to wake up every morning wishing you are somewhere else.
I’m guessing you gave this move a lot of thought beforehand (so did I). Having said that, there is no way you could have known in advance how challenging moving away from family and friends really is (I also found out the hard way).

So if you want to go home, it’s okay to go. It’s okay to change your mind. It’s okay to try something new and realise that it wasn’t for you after all. 

But perhaps it would first pay to ask yourself if your reason for the move is still valid. If whatever it was—fresh start, love, career opportunity—still means something to you, then you could consider giving it more time, and if you’re still not happy in a few months you can always go back home then.

To make it easier now, I can suggest a few ideas. Make the most of encounters with people you see at any place you regularly frequent (eg a barista or clerk in a shop). From my experience, these types of people never became friends but they became familiar and I gained a sense of belonging in my new community.

Put yourself out there with new people you meet at work. Look for opportunities to collaborate, ask colleagues to coffee, participate in social events.

Consider joining a club (eg local libraries often run book clubs or choose a sport) or taking up volunteer work—this is a great way to meet similar-minded people and hopefully increase your potential friendship pool. Or, perhaps think about taking a course (eg pottery, first aid, etc).

Introduce yourself to your neighbours. Join your local community Facebook group, attend local events or find a local walking group.

These are just ideas and I’m not suggesting you adopt them all. But maybe something will resonate with you and it could help you make some new connections. It’s going to take time and effort to build a new life and sense of home.

Happy to chat anytime.

Kind thoughts to you