Hi Anonymous997,
Welcome to the forums and thanks for reaching out.
What you are going through sounds exceptionally challenging and frustrating - moving from the comfort of your home is always difficult to begin with. It must also feel exceptionally disheartening to put in so much effort to feel as if the rewards don't match up. I also went through something similar at the start of the year, where after having gone through 3 years of university, I felt I got into my dream course. However, after a few weeks in, I realised I didn't enjoy it and gradually started hating it. I talked with a lot of people I trusted to cope with this somewhat 'epiphany' i had during isolation that my happiness shouldn't be contingent upon something as, in a sense, superficial as a degree? Although much easier said than done, just pursuing degrees/jobs/anything that you're truly passionate about (and not caring about what others think) is the trajectory everyone probably wants to take. However, obviously it's much harder when family/friends/society places these expectations of ideal 'careers' 'degrees' etc.
I think seeking professional support is always beneficial. Although as you said you feel like its your life circumstances contributing to your headspace, professional support (i.e.,psychologists and counsellors) can always help you better navigate the emotions framing your headspace so that you can have better clarity as to how you can overcome this.
Please keep us updated with your progress if you feel up to it.
Wishing you all the best and sending you positive thoughts!
