Medication is a dealbreaker for my partner

[Bz32]

Hi,

I've been with my partner for 9 months when we first got together i was coming off medication for diagnosed major depressive disorder as the self help and cbt that i was doing was working well. The last couple of months i have started to struggle again and i recognise the symptoms of my illness are beginning to return i feel that im going to be right back where i started if i dont start taking the meds cobined with the self help/cbt again however my partner says theres nothing wrong with me and that i should just deal with it and i dont need medication and if i do decide to take it she will leave. To complicate things further my parner has diagnosed ASD so im not sure whether or not she can recognise the symptoms and if i try to explain it to her she is very dismissive once again saying theres nothing wrong with me. I can feel myself starting to withdraw and explaining my feelings is becoming more and more difficult for me. I dont know what to do its an impossible choice for me.

[Guest_7403]

Your health comes first my friend.
If she was sick she would seek medical help, its nothing to be ashamed about.

You do what's going to work for you

[Bz32]

Is there any way i can help her understand. I tey my best to explain how im feeling but she doesnt seem to get it. Is that the ASD or that fact she just doesn't get it kinda like antivaxxers

[Bz32]

Thanks or the support this is very hard

[Staele]

My ex was the first partner i'd been with that had openly discussed being on medication for his depression when i met him. It was a little confronting at first but it was good that he was open about it. And i took it upon myself from that point forward to make sure he had taken it every day as he was supposed to to make sure that he stayed in his best frame of mind to enjoy his life.

About halfway through our relationship he decided he didn't need or want to be on them anymore so he weened off of them and everything was ok for a while which was great too (i frankly didn't care if he had to take it for the rest of his life or not - as long as he was happy and could enjoy himself that's all that mattered to me).

However towards the end i could tell he wasn't himself anymore but he also wasn't getting back on his medication. To this day i still beat myself up because i feel like if i had of sat down with him and convinced him that even though he wasn't feeling 100% right and didn't want to be back on it, he needed it... maybe then he wouldn't have left me and destroyed me in the process.

You need to put your health first, and she should always be supportive of that.

[Bz32]

Thanks for your post im sorry that uve had to go through all of that. im back on the medication already and im sure everything will work out for the best regardless. 😊

[baet123]

Hi Bz32,

Welcome to the forums and it is great to have you here!

Sorry to hear that the last couple of months have been hard for you. It is amazing that you are aware of your emotions. The fact that you express mindfulness is amazing and you should be proud of that! It seems like you are extremely intact with your emotions and this is a great tool to have.

I believe you have to sit with her and just be blunt and tell her what is going on. Your emotional well-being and quality of life should be at the forefront and at the centre of your life and the relationship. If medication has helped you in the past and you feel like it will help again and that is a deal breaker, then maybe she isn't the one for you? I am sorry if this isn't what you want to hear but it seems like she may be dismissive and isn't taking your genuine concerns seriously.

It does seem like you both really care for each other and you taking medication should not be a deal breaker as she should be wanting you to do whatever you can to improve your well-being.

Please keep us updated and look forward to hearing back from you.

Nick.