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Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

Chris_B Are you looking to support someone else with depression? PLEASE READ before posting
  • replies: 0

This forum is for people seeking support for their own mental health issues. If you're posting on behalf of someone else with a mental health issue that you're concerned about, please have a look at this section of our forums: Supporting family and f... View more

This forum is for people seeking support for their own mental health issues. If you're posting on behalf of someone else with a mental health issue that you're concerned about, please have a look at this section of our forums: Supporting family and friends with a mental health condition It's full of threads from people who have family members and friends going through anxiety, depression or other related conditions. Have a read through the threads there, and feel free to take part in the discussions. Below are also some helpful beyondblue resources you might want to look through first as well: Supporting someone Have the conversation

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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gracebelle13 depressed and not sure what to do
  • replies: 1

lately i have been very depressed. this is my 3rd depression relapse, though i dont feel comfortable going to see a psychologist, hence why i am posting this. its not me refusing to help myself; im just too scared to truly open up. my friends, family... View more

lately i have been very depressed. this is my 3rd depression relapse, though i dont feel comfortable going to see a psychologist, hence why i am posting this. its not me refusing to help myself; im just too scared to truly open up. my friends, family and teachers have noticed a change in me and they keep asking me if im okay, to which i just tell them that im fine, even if i am visibly and quite obviously not. this is because my best friend gets angry when i cry and will start ignoring me and talking to other people. i dont want my friends to think my depression is me seeking attention, and i feel as though they really dont care and i am burdening them with my issues. i also dont want to upset my mum, as when i had my first depressive episode it seemed to take a toll on her, and i dont want her to suffer because of me. due to all of this i suffer in silence. i have absolutely no motivation to do anything. i have stayed in my bed for almost 2 weeks and i havent showered or changed my clothes for 5 days. i have school work and other things i know i need to do but the motivation is absolutely not there. i dont really like to talk about my problems and when people bring them up i just joke about it and then say im okay and you dont need to worry about it, but im really not okay. im not sure what to do at this point.

Andy71 Difference hypermaina or just happy
  • replies: 2

Hi there just wondering if in the last 3-4 or even longer if my high and positive live style is just part of a bipolar high . I lived depression free till about 43 then depression slowly crept in firstly not to bad but in the last year and a half I h... View more

Hi there just wondering if in the last 3-4 or even longer if my high and positive live style is just part of a bipolar high . I lived depression free till about 43 then depression slowly crept in firstly not to bad but in the last year and a half I had two mayor breakdown allways combined with a relationship breakup after depression kicked in - just wanna describe before I met those two woman I was really feeling great . I just describe what I been doing healthy eating surfing a priority( getting up early and using the day ) learning a instrument meeting new people good sexdrive took my bike to the desert ( when i ride my bike I don’t concentrate on any negative as I think it attracts the accident going bymyself on holiday and being adventurous buying nice things Working on my car getting into bed and can’t wait to start a new day - doing little projects living in the now not thinking about the future to much at work offshore I take day by day and don’t concentrate on the day I leave make the best out even if the work is crap i do Talk a lot , allways have - but not rapid just enjoyed the beautiful ocean and the hobby I do in under and on it being busy so there is no time for thinking when I start a relationship Iam always full on , think very much all possible into the future to quick - then depression comes and I get needy and the over sure i wasn’t like that all the the time but a lot and always before I meet anyone as that strong personality is attractive. Anyway now Iam worried my highs are unatural ? But I always kind of lived that way not thinking to much of the future and enjoying live , Now i worried that that is all just a part of bipolar bipolar????? Confused as I always been like that just without the depression part ...... that s just active since the last 3 years and I think I know what caused it (( working fifo , loneliness, not connected with peoples, no friends, no family, daughter growing up , isolation, midlife crises , no purpose , not being needed) so are my positive feelings normal or just a up ??? Confused a lot

Missberri How do you build a support network
  • replies: 5

Hi hope you're all doing well! I moved to a new place about 6 months ago and I feel as if I'm starting to sink. I feel like I'm losing myself and I just don't have anyone around who I can talk to. I feel completely hopeless and I don't why I just can... View more

Hi hope you're all doing well! I moved to a new place about 6 months ago and I feel as if I'm starting to sink. I feel like I'm losing myself and I just don't have anyone around who I can talk to. I feel completely hopeless and I don't why I just can't cope with these things like other people do and just move forward with my life. I was living with my parents before I moved here but I'm getting used to not having them around - this has made me feel more alone than ever and it's an awful feeling. I was just wondering, does anyone know any ideas to meet people around you especially when you're feeling so horrible? I feel like I'm not the life of the party right now and I don't even know if I can speak to people anymore and have a normal conversation! I was so hopeful when I moved up here that things would be better but it's been so awful as I've just been so stuck in my head and almost scared of what's out there.. If anyone can provide some advice that would be so great!

Jacq333 Diagnosis made me feel worse
  • replies: 4

I got diagnosed with depression and the diagnosis has made me feel worse. Any suggestions how i can get this out my head?

I got diagnosed with depression and the diagnosis has made me feel worse. Any suggestions how i can get this out my head?

white knight Depression and the timing of motivation
  • replies: 18

Speaking from experience, if your depression has an obvious cycle to you, timing of your motivation could be in vain. It could be counter-productive when you don't reach your basic goals of fitness. Ever done some jogging when depressed and fallen in... View more

Speaking from experience, if your depression has an obvious cycle to you, timing of your motivation could be in vain. It could be counter-productive when you don't reach your basic goals of fitness. Ever done some jogging when depressed and fallen into an emotional heap? Often we read in these pages sufferers that try everything known to man in motivating themselves while in a mental down time. But isn’t this a similar concept to that old and common saying “just snap out of it”? We cant just do that, we know that, then why would we try the same in a physical sense? Accepting our illness is essential as the thread talks about (google) “Topic: Acceptance- is this our biggest challenge- beyondblue” and motivation is another step we need to gather an inner strength, as part of our good management. How do we do this.? Recent studies suggest that that annoying depressive cycle when it arrives is best left to run its course however long that might take. So fighting it is a waste of time. Going for a walk might well help but not intense exercise thinking you'll break that cycle. Considering this revelation, motivation strategies are best placed on hold. My wife and I go to the gym 3 times a week for over 45 minutes of intense training. I was 131kg 9 months ago and unfit with a poor diet. We’d arrive and hop on the treadmill for minimum 20 minutes. This time period I was told allows the heart to get fit. Any less time and it’s a waste of effort as the blood pressure drops then rises again before 20 minutes, thus its good cardio training. Then weights for the rest of the time. However, several times I’ve arrived to get on the treadmill and only lasted 2-3 minutes. My mind was depressed maybe stressed…it has to be clear and content to do that machine. I think this is a reflection of what I’m talking about. When we attend the gym and I’m not depressed at all, I accelerate my training, stay for over an hour and really put in. Furthermore I’m capable of lowering my food intake and eat healthier foods. I've lost 9kg. Based on this, it could be advisable to commit yourself more to your motivation regime when not depressed. Whatever you choose in terms of exercise, it is well known that physical exercise, like adequate sleep and relaxation is essential to the well being of the sufferer of the black dog. Cant motivate yourself? Relax, do some muscle tensioning exercises and don't worry. Wait for that cycle to go by then run like the wind… Tony WK

dirtyfabrik Girlfriend Is depressed and wants to leave me - advice.
  • replies: 4

Hey Guys, First and foremost i'm really grateful there's a forum like this I can goto to get advice. I am 99% sure my partner has depressions. A few weeks ago she came home from an engagement drunk, broke down and wanted to leave me because we have n... View more

Hey Guys, First and foremost i'm really grateful there's a forum like this I can goto to get advice. I am 99% sure my partner has depressions. A few weeks ago she came home from an engagement drunk, broke down and wanted to leave me because we have no future - she said she didn't want to be here anymore, didn't want to live and life would not get any better. She had tried to break up with me 2 times prior. Once in september last year after a small argument about how she's overwork and shouldn't stay back all the time and once again mid January - which was COMPLETELY out of the blue. Some background one her. She's turning 32, was in a long term relationship and her partner cheated on her. She was singler for many years before we started dating. After her breakup a close family member commit suicide. She felt guilty that she didn't help before it was too late. Best friend and 'rock' moved overseas. She hates her job. 11 hour days are common. She's been trying to find a new job but has been getting rejected. 2 years of job applications, working late and taking work home. She had 6 month contract role / promotion but had to go back to her current job. Very stressed. She severely injured her back 2 years ago. Eroded disc. Needs surgery. Constant pain. Manages it with opioids. Was on the list for a year. Got called up September 17, they gave it away. Was called up March 18 - was suppose to go yesterday but they postponed it due to emergency. Since her injury and work situation has gotten worse, i've noticed her get worse. Her friend came back to visit, but left after a week which may have made it worse. She very much feels like her friends no longer do anything and the 'fun' part is over. She has told me she no longer loves me. Each time this happens it correlates with other negative things happening. It feels like she bottles everything up and feels like she needs to change something immediately - and i'm the only thing she has control over. Most recently she wanted to break up was after she found out her surgery was postponed (Saturday). In my mind, it's clear she just has a hard time seeing the good in anything - and i'm her emotional punching bag. Do i leave her? I love her to death, she's a beautiful person who at the moment just seems beaten down. Do i accept she doesn't love me anymore and give up? Any advice would be good. We currently live together (for 2 years) and have been together for almost 3. Thanks in advance.

Hollieanne food for thought
  • replies: 2

Hi all, First time poster, long term supporter of Beyond Blue. I am a 29 year old living in a unit with my dog. I have a part time job and I study full time. I have a wonderful family and lovely friends. From the outside, life is seemingly wonderful;... View more

Hi all, First time poster, long term supporter of Beyond Blue. I am a 29 year old living in a unit with my dog. I have a part time job and I study full time. I have a wonderful family and lovely friends. From the outside, life is seemingly wonderful; but for some reason, I find myself sitting on my couch in the dark each night feeling like I am the only person in existence. I feel as though everyone else is busy living their lives, while I sit back and watch as an observer rather than participating in life. I have battled with anxiety for my entire life and have spent time in hospital. I recall as a child (as young as 4), when my mum would work night shift, I would sit at my window and wait for her car to pull up in the driveway. Each time a car passed my home that wasn't my mum's, I would panic and think something had happened to her. I constantly worry about how I will survive without my mum and dad when they pass. I think this is because they are the only two people whom I have an actual connection with. This worry keeps me up most nights. I see a psychologist fortnightly but don't seem to be getting anywhere. She makes comments such as "you have a very, very complex mind" and "you are craving love and acceptance, but as soon as someone comes close to you, you shut them out". I often feel pathetic and ungrateful because I am well aware that there are wonderful people out there who are living a life a lot more difficult then mine. What is wrong with me? I really have nothing to be sad about. Does this empty feeling ever pass? Will my impending sense of doom ever fade? I don't want to feel like this anymore.

Anon99 Struggling to cope with Mum's depression
  • replies: 1

Hi My mum has been clinically depressed for about the last ten years, however over the last couple of years, and months especially, it has just seemed to become worse and worse. I used to be very close to my mum, but now I find it difficult to hold a... View more

Hi My mum has been clinically depressed for about the last ten years, however over the last couple of years, and months especially, it has just seemed to become worse and worse. I used to be very close to my mum, but now I find it difficult to hold a conversation with her for longer than 5 minutes without needing to walk away. She used to have so much interest in my life and what I was doing, but now it's almost as though she doesn't really care too much, and is more interested in the things I've done wrong than right. The house doesn't feel like a happy place anymore and because of that I'm working as much as I can to avoid being here and dealing with the tension. I have anxiety myself and so it's very difficult for me to be calm and happy in my own home when there are people yelling at each other and constant tension, especially when my mum doesn't really acknowledge that anxiety is a real thing, but that's another issue in itself. I would say that I am the most understanding out of the other members of the family that live at home, as I've done research and have probably spoken to my mum about what she feels more than anyone, but I'm really struggling at the moment to cope with it all. She is constantly on a short fuse and the smallest thing can lead to a massive argument. It's been a while since I've had a conversation with her and not come out of it feeling stupid and worse about myself, and I'm just not sure what to do. I don't want to upset her because I don't think she would take hearing any of this too well,but it's having a significant effect on my own mental and physical health, and it has been doing so for the last four months. She does occasionally see a psychologist and is taking medication, and I've also tried to make sure that she knows I'm available to talk anytime, but it only seems to be getting worse andI don't know what to do. Sorry if none of this makes any sense, but I would really appreciate any advice. Thanks

Rubify Recently sober alcoholic struggling with self forgiveness
  • replies: 14

Thank you for reading. I am 7 days sober and struggling mostly with guilt and self forgiveness. I have been an alcoholic for 8 years and during this time I did have sober periods but these were short lived. I am struggling to cope with the shame and ... View more

Thank you for reading. I am 7 days sober and struggling mostly with guilt and self forgiveness. I have been an alcoholic for 8 years and during this time I did have sober periods but these were short lived. I am struggling to cope with the shame and guilt I feel toward myself and my alcoholism. I have had poor judgement, made bad decisions and put myself in situations that made me extremely vulnerable because I was "blind drunk". How can I forgive myself? I fear that if I cannot find a way to forgive myself, I will drink to escape what I have done and who I have become. I would really appreciate hearing from others who have struggled with self forgiveness. I would be especially grateful if you could share with me exactly how you were able to forgive yourself and move forward with your life. Thank you again for reading.

MaryMary Single Parent struggling to cope...
  • replies: 10

I'm really struggling to keep on top of my depression lately. I'm fighting it so hard but circumstances keep overwhelming me. I'm very prone to situational depression since my 20s but I've managed to stay on top of things and nip things in the bud. I... View more

I'm really struggling to keep on top of my depression lately. I'm fighting it so hard but circumstances keep overwhelming me. I'm very prone to situational depression since my 20s but I've managed to stay on top of things and nip things in the bud. I still get bouts of it but never as bad as it was in my 20s. I pride myself in that I keep on top of things. However, my life is feeling more and more isolated and stressful lately and I can't seem to find a balance to keep that depression dog in check. I can feel it.. making my throat sore, making me cry all the time, be bad tempered and angry at life. How do I get control of this thing? I'm a single parent to three children and one of them is special needs - this child is having massive problems at school and is autistic so sometimes violent and sent home. My children are all still pretty young (all under 10) and my ex husband committed suicide 2 years ago (something I'm still dealing with and I still have some post-traumatic stress over). I only work part time. I love my job as it is something I enjoy and gives me some social interaction but other than my job I can't go out because my my special needs child who cannot cope. My mother helps as much as she can but I'm pretty isolated and I know this is one of the problems. I have no partner and my friends all work full time so I'm on my own a lot which is really bad of depression I know. I try to keep myself really busy and focus on positive things but I think the stress of my situation is getting me down. I get on top of things then it's like a balancing act because something will go wrong with my special needs child and I have all these appointments to take them to - it's so overwhelming and it's all down to me. My friends are supportive and I've told them I've been blue lately and they were concerned and said to ring them when I felt like that but I can't/don't want to bring them down and moan plus they're so busy all the time with their own lifes and work.. what to do?