Maybe I am anxious?

[Katyb88]

Thank you for reading 🙂

I will try and keep this short and sweet.

I am heavily pregnant, a solo mum. This does not bother me, in fact I am looking very much forward to the challenge. I have 2 beautiful children already, life with them lately has been a struggle, but we always pull through with a smile and endless love.

I have a lovely home and was able to recently do it up nicely. Something I have been dreaming about for years.

I have a great car and all the material possessions one could ever want. I recently found joy in smoking meats on the weekend while my beautiful children play on the trampoline, we listen to music and have a great time.

I have a very close friend who lives 2 doors down, who supports me endlessly.

So why am I so down? Why am I anxious and having panic attacks when 2 years ago we were homeless and actually had something to be depressed about. 2 years ago I was an alcoholic, spending rent money on booze and cigarettes, I had no car or licence because I lost them drink driving. I look back now and feel sick at the person I was then.

[Croix]

Dear Katyb88~

Welcome back. The change between you and your circumstances since last December has been remarkable. To get to where you are now is wonderful. Overcoming the drink and no longer feeling suicidal is somethng to make myself and any other reader very glad.

I do think the fact you have has those experiences , and the circumstances that lead to them has left you wiht a pretty clear picture of what things are like when all is very bad.

So now, when you are about to have another child, and your hormones have altered, and you can imagine things going wrong (for no good reason) I'm not that surprised you find you anxiety back, panic attacks and all.

I guess the first thing is to get medical support for the anxiety -maybe you are already, but if not it would seem a pretty good idea.

The other is to regard yourself as the same person who beat the drink, made a home, had another child and have coped and manged well -a lot of hidden reserves in you that are still there waiting to be called on in times of need.

I'm glad you have that freind and think they would tell you the same thing.

You are always welcome here and I'd like to know how you get on, so lease post some more

Croix

[leesy_lou]

Hi Katyb88,

It's nice to meet you and hear about the triumphs you have had over the last 2 years. I agree with "Croix", the fact that you have completely changed your life around for the better and overcome some really challenging issues like alcoholism is phenomenal. Go mumma!

I guess you too feel positive about the life you have worked hard and. Sounds like when low or anxiety feelings now occur it makes no sense considering your in a much better place than before, is that right?

There is this one thing you said in particular that really stood out to me "I look back now and feel sick at the person I was then". From what you are saying it sounds like the thought of the old you disgust you, which from what you have briefly describe makes sense considering the path you were on at the time. I guess I'm wondering what is like for you to sit with these thoughts, or to be the person you are now looking back?