Hey guys!
Over the past month or so I have been here a LOT and I have been really struggling mentally, physically and emotionally. I was either sleeping for 15 hours or 3 hours and everything was thrown off and I spiraled down into my another really suicidal point in my life about a week or so ago, which has happened a couple times in my life including an attempt when I was a teenager.
I am still struggling now, but with the help of some really amazing online friends who are my cheerleaders and tell me every day how much they love me, including one who said, and I quote, "If you do anything I will summon you with a ritual just to beat up ghost you." which made me laugh for about 3 hours straight, I feel better about the support I have, even if it's not in person and it is only online.
As some of you may know from my previous post, I am moving house and the rubbish in my room has been accumulating and accumulating, to the point where I could barely walk around in my room because there was so much rubbish and I didn't have the energy or the motivation to get rid of it because I was too busy using all of my energy just to eat dinner at night and not go hungry (eating disorders are greaaatttt...).
Well today I woke up earlier than usual (like 11am or so (I am working on it)) and decided enough is enough. I took all of my clothes that I was donating (around 10 bags) along with around 6 bags of rubbish to the tip and got rid of it (Went up and down stairs in the house around 10 or so times carrying everything to my car). I can move more easily in my room now, and it feels good to have donated so many clothes during a pandemic when I know people will need them. I feel tired, energyless, but good. I feel good.
I just wanted to share this to remind you that, no matter what is going on in your life, you are capable of anything. I believe in every one of you and believe that you can do anything you set your fantastic minds to. If you don't have the energy to do anything but eat, that's fine! I'm still proud of you for that!
I love you guys and hope you can find some comfort and motivation in my story from today!
