Lost

[Willo2020]

I am lost. My depression is now at its worst. The GP's best efforts are not helping, and I've just sold the last guitar, the one I was keeping, and put all the money into an account for my daughter's.

I have no joy in even looking at the wonderful piece of wood I've had since I started earning real money.

Cant even listen to music anymore.

I call and get no real help. I go to mental ward, get zero help there.

The selling of the last guitar was a big moment.....I have her a pat when she left.

Next thing is my grandfather's 1973 Fiat 132. I need it to go to my eldest daughter. I don't know, I don't owe anyone any money, but if I "accidentally" get eaten by a shark, then I want to make sure some bottom feeder doesn't get it

Im at the end....there's no cross road......just end of line

[Aaronsis]

Hi Willo2020

I am so very proud that when you are feeling like you are at the "end of the line" that you have found yourself here, to get some comfort and some support, we are here for you and we care so very much.

I can hear how tired you are, so sad and so over it all, the fact you are selling your possessions that mean so very much to you speaks so loudly to how you are feeling and what you are thinking and possibly planning. Please reach out and keep reaching out, if you are not safe now please call 000 and have an ambulance come to you, you matter so very very much and you are needed here, your children need you and love you. Can I suggest that they would take having you in their lives over the money from the Fiat...they need you.

I hear how lost you are feeling and that treatments no longer seem to be working and you feel like the support has run out, well now you are here we are very much here to support you and to sit with you through these times and let you know we care. There are so many people in this community that feel the same as you so you are not alone here and you are heard, I am so very very sorry you are going through this and that you are feeling so very very tired.

The fact you can longer get joy from music is very heartbreaking to hear as I am thinking it is your joy, along with playing guitar, I am so sorry you are no longer feeling that connection.

We also have some wonderful people on the Beyond Blue support line if you feel you would like to chat and to get this out and off your chest, they are so wonderful Willo2020, you can get them on 1300 22 4636. There are also the amazing people at Lifeline on 13 11 14.

I dont want you to get "eaten by a shark" and I know that your children do not want that either, please keep talking and reaching out Willo2020, we are here.

Huge hugs to you

Sarah xx

[Willo2020]

Moreton bay is full of them .....I'm sitting here looking at water .

I want to go home.....my real home....Scotland

[Aaronsis]

Hi Willo2020

I hope with the water you can see a reflection, of a person who is going through a rough time right now, who is struggling but who deserves to be here is this world. This is a time in your life and does not have to cost you your life. I hope too in the reflection you see a person who has the love of a two daughters, who has the ability to play amazing music and the skill to play a guitar, someone who can love and who is loved. I hope that you can take the time there to breathe in the fresh air and to know how much you are needed here.

Did you want to share some more about your heritage and your connection with Scotland?

I am here for you Willo2020, even though not physically, I am sending you my strength and my support.

Sarah x

[Willo2020]

The guitar I sold was from the Rev G.....Billy Gobbons ZZ Top

My want of scotland.....no one in Qld health has taken this into account .

My family are from Shetland..

[Willo2020]

Thank you for helping

[Aaronsis]

Oh wow Willo2020, that guitar would have been so very precious to you and so very special, I love ZZ Top and the fact it was from Billy Gibbons would have been even more special. I can only imagine how hard that must have been for you to part with it, I would have given it a pat too. However, you will have the memory of her and the memory of all the times and good fun you had with her, no one can ever take that away from you.

I can hear how passionate you are about your native home, the isle of Sheltand looks stunning and I can see why you would so very much like to go back. Do you think this is where your love of music and playing instruments has come from as they say the local way of life reflects the Scottish and Norse heritage of the isles, with the Up Helly Aa fire festival and a strong musical tradition. You perhaps have this in your blood too.

It is my pleasure to chat to you Willo2020, or if you prefer Ned Kelly Williamson. I can hear you are in so much pain and if I can help you to see some joy and some goodness in you that is worth fighting for then I am a very happy person.

Huge hugs

Sarah

[Willo2020]

Thank you for caring

[Willo2020]

I'm so alone

[Aaronsis]

Hi Willo2020

I am here to talk to and to share how you are feeling today, to get some of the feelings off your chest. Have you been able to do anything over the weekend that has made you feel happy, no matter how small? I hope that even today a walk in the sunshine to get some fresh air can really help.

Have you been able to perhaps spend some time with your daughters and have some wonderful family time?

Would you like to tell me some more about Shetland as I would love to hear some of the stories and some of the things that make you feel happy, some of the good memories?

Huge hugs to you and I am here and I do care

Sarah xx