Lost, Tired, Empty

[Bluebird2492]

I am walking bad luck. Nothing good happens in my world. I work a crappy part time job that abuses my hard working ethic while everyone demands to know when I'll get a "real job". I have no friends left where I live. My partner is very sick so we cannot do as much together as we use to - we were trying to be more active. I have no life prospects. I cannot find a line of work that captivates my enthusiasm. I'm so bitter about the world I see nothing in it but endless crap.

I have fought my whole life to gain half a step, I'm sick of working so hard for nothing. I'm going nowhere! I'm trying so hard to claw out of this pit. I stay up til early hours everyday trying to make something of my miserable self. I cry myself to sleep - I'm so stressed. I'm panicked, I'm worthless unremarkable.

I hate myself for being such a failure. I'm lost, I don't know what to do or where to go with my life. I'm scared. I'm tired, and burnt out.

I'm desperate to make changes but I'm unmotivated or faced with my stupid empty head. I'm all over the place. I feel thinly spread. I really need some guidance from people that have been here - talking to a GP won't help, I'm very rational but very stressed and blue and angry.

I'm not even sure if this depression I feel - I could be completely spastic and wasting your time. I apologise.:/

[MarkJT]

Bluebird, first off in no way shape or form are you wasting my time, not in the slightest. I want to welcome you to the forums which is a very safe and supportive place. Sorry to hear that you have been going through an extended rough patch.

Generally speaking my advice to tackle this situation is to encourage you to see a GP but you say that they won't help. I am wondering why this is? Have you seen one before and they were not much help? If this is the case, I am encouraging you to seek out a new one. It is there job to help you, whatever is going on.

I would love for you to download the "Smiling Mind" app, it is an app that guides you through mindfulness practice. This is a very powerful meditation technique that will help you settle down and be calm. It takes practice so please get it and persist with it.

It looks like you are showing depression symptoms and if this is the case, it is treatable and you can get back to living a functional life but you need to see someone about it. We are not clinicians in here and we can give advice and help you but we cannot diagnose you nor treat you professionally.

Be great to hear back from you with some answers to my questions above where we can then move on to some more advice.

Again, welcome to the forums, is it great that you are here.

Mark.

[BballJ]

Hi Bluebird2492,

Sorry to read what you are going through. I can't say I have been in your exact mindset but have felt that feeling of being a failure and feeling like bad luck. One thing I post about on these forums is a positive mindset and the power it can bring. I like the fact that you stay up until early trying to make something of yourself, that is one hell of a work ethic and something that you should actually be quite proud of.

I don't think talking to a GP will be a waste of time, I do think speaking to a counsellor may do you good however, it may not be depression but you shouldn't have to feel this way at all and it feels as if you are carrying the world on your shoulders.

You sound like you have so much strength in you but you may not see it, I ask you to keep your head up and keep pushing through and keep working hard at what you want, it may sound cliché but that is where you have been and that is what you need to keep doing.

I am sorry this may not be the greatest advice you were after but I wanted to reach out and support you as best I could. Always happy to talk.

My best for you,

Jay