Lost the plot last night

[Lisado]

Last night I lost the plot . Had nothing to eat for 2 days, had too much wine , fight with my hubby for " not understanding" he does but he keeps it to himself and I am mean about it. So I took some pills. More to show him I'm at the depths of dispair. It was silly off. I seem to be doing so mAny things which are out of character for me. 

i was very sick all night and feel dreadful now. 

Going to book counsellor for first time but I feel scared and I'm a huge failure if wife and mother .

lisa

[amamas]

Hey Lisa

Tough tough hard painful times aye!  Really feeling for you!

I get you about being afraid to see a counsellor.  I remember when I finally dragged myself to my psychologist last year I was so freaked out I had diarrhoea(I hope this isn't too graphic for this site) full on for a day before I went - anxiety to the max!!.  But she is soooooooooo AWESOME!!  I'm still going to her.  Just went today actually.

I hope you gel with your counsellor as well.  Please just be aware that if you don't dig the counsellor there are others out there and there will be someone who gets you and who you feel comfortable with.

I also really want you to know that we on here have heard your cry for help. 

We know how hard it is to feel as bad as you are. 

We are here for you and listening.

Take care Lisa

Cheers amamas

[Chris_B]

Hi Lisado,

Really sorry to hear you're in this state - but it's a positive thing that you're able to recognise you need some help and that you're getting it.  That makes you the opposite of a failure; you're making sure that you take care of yourself so you'll be a well wife and mother.

Please also talk to your GP about your levels of distress lately as it is important that he or she is able to monitor these in collaboration with your counsellor.  It might also be a sensible idea to have your husband take charge of your medication so you only take the correct dosage and to keep yourself safe should you have another episode.

Remember also our support service line if you are feeling troubled at any time 24/7 on 1300 22 46 36.

Take care, and please keep checking in with us on how you're doing.

best
CB

___________________________________________________________________
Online Community Manager

[vip]

Hi Lisado I dont see you being a failure at all in my eyes you are a winner for noticing the signs and doing something about it. I too was in denial for many years with my depression and it took me ages to get the courage to speak to a psych. Hope all goes well for you , Take care

[MaryG]

Hi Lisa,

I completely understand everything you are going through. The not eating, the drinking, the feeling so bad afterwards. I am very new to seeking help for similar problems and the first counsellor I went to was not a good fit for me. I felt so nervous and uncomfortable before meeting with her that I would have a few gulps of vodka in the car park before going in. I tried to cope on my own again for the last 9 months or so but in the last 2 weeks I have finally sought help once more. My GP is amazing and asked if I would like my husband to control my medication. She said it was my choice and I chose not to. I need some control over my life. I agree with amamas about finding a counsellor/pscychologist that is right for you. The new one I have only seen twice now is great. Really helping me at the moment. 

There are people here listening and caring as I have discovered recently, and it is really helpful for me to just get it out there, out of my head and into words.

Hope this helps. Take care.

Mary.