Hi redandblue
I can relate to where you're coming from, I imagine. The incredible challenge of returning to 'normal' can throw some overwhelming emotions into the mix. Sometimes they're emotions that feel unrecognisable, based on never having felt them so deeply before. I think sometimes we can feel them in a basic way in the gradual lead up to what eventually feels like a 'soul destroying' level.
Can recall a couple of years back when I returned from the usual annual holiday. Same place for the last 7 years, up to a beautiful little bush land place by a lake just outside of Lake's Entrance, Victoria. On this particular occasion, returning back to Melbourne, I felt so incredibly down to the point where I was led to tears for a number of days that followed. Couldn't work out why 'til I sat and meditated on it. What came to mind were the words 'What are you returning to or turning to again?'. So, it wasn't just about simply returning, it was about re-turning to so much of what wasn't bringing me to life. it felt more like the place I always visited was home and leaving felt like leaving to go out into a world that was bringing me down in a number of ways.
Like returning and re-turning, recreation is another one. When looked at differently, it's re-creation. When you go off for recreational activities, you're re-creating yourself, evolving in some way. Going off for a bit of re-creation and re-turning home to sameness definitely has a feel to it. Sameness, unless it's the same inspirational exciting life, can feel depressing. Personally, I'm a gal who can easily feel/sense the down side of re-turning to sameness, something I have to manage strategically so I don't feel it so intensely. The goal becomes about not being the same person from week to week. I believe we're born to evolve, right through to our last breath. Not doing what we're born to do can become such an emotional experience.
