Loneliness and Depression

[Wild_]

Hi all,

I can feel a depressive episode has been bubbling along in the background of my mind for a while, but things have been more or less, okay so it hasn’t fully shown itself yet. An incident at work yesterday has triggered something and I can’t seem to shake it.

But to the topic of the forum - I’m finding it really really difficult to get myself into a good space when there has been increased research and knowledge on the effects of loneliness on mental health. Relationships are the most crucial thing to a healthy life, so we are told. I’m someone who is quite socially awkward, don’t trust people due to a past trauma and don’t make friends easily (for a number of reasons).

Knowing these two things, I feel like I’m doomed - how am I supposed to be healthy and well when I can’t do what is most important for my health? Does anyone else feel like that? How can we tackle this? I’m scared that if I can’t figure it out, another depressive episode will come and hang around, The last one lasted years.

Thanks all.

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Wild.

Thank you for your post. I think it's a big kudos to you for identifying your own headspace and jumping in here to intervene early.

You mentioned 'increased research and knowledge on the effects of loneliness and mental health' - can you explain this more for me? Are you looking for more research? Or is it the idea that we know there's such a link and that feels concerning for you?

Relationships are important yes, but I think they are only one part of our mental health. It is not a be all and end all - aka 'if you have no friends, you're screwed'.

Is getting and having relationships - is that important to you? In the sense that you want to learn to trust people and build connections? I think this can also be key - as there's a difference between not speaking to a soul to being intentional about working through this.

I hope that this gives you some reassurance. While it's a contributing factor and kind of a bummer, you're not at all doomed.

rt

[Volkerballoon]

Howdy Wild,

The research that links loneliness and depression does sound reasonable, but like romantic_thi3f said, it's not the whole picture. Feeling lonely does not mean you will be depressed, and you are certainly not doomed. Additionally, not having social relationships doesn't necessarily mean that a person is lonely. Some people have less of a need for social relationships, and that's fine. Have you been feeling lonely?

Cheers,

Volk