Its a no brainer really. Have read all the stuff, taken the quizzs and
well i feel like crap all the time. Lost all motivation for everything,
home, work sport. just cant be bothered. I have zero tolerance for
people... all people, im binge eating or...
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Its a no brainer really. Have read all the stuff, taken the quizzs and
well i feel like crap all the time. Lost all motivation for everything,
home, work sport. just cant be bothered. I have zero tolerance for
people... all people, im binge eating or fasting and no sleep or to much
and recently just burst into tears, at least twice a day, no trigger, no
event, bam tears.... any way blah blah blah...see no brainer. I cant
deal with pros i go a bit silly, and i have a really hard time
expressing how i feel. they care, i guess.... but to me all i see is
fake and nongenuine. see straight through them. Number 35, your up, you
have 30secs. right your done, $140 please...next. To me isolation ,
being alone is bliss, but unatainable and so it seems it is also feeding
into this. Now im on a forum... but you dont know me and i can switch
this off and go on my way, peeps none the wiser, so i guess its the
security that is leading me this way to start with. I know that see a
doc / phys will be the intial comments and thx. maybe share with my
partner will be another, as you can see i know the answers, im stubborn
hey. But i cant bring myself to go to that space. Maybe its my percieved
role in my space as a pillar of strength to mt family (then how can i be
strong if i dont seek help and stay broken... see i see all that stuff
as well) Maybe over thinking, maybe looking for self assurance, who
knows. i know i need help, im self destructing and it will end messed
up. Im not suicidal. but it seems depression/anxiety maybe the culperate
here. Maybe typing today will help realise that i need to move forward
in this space. I dont want comfort, or pity, or direction or .....
actually i dont know what i really want. maybe to vent, maybe to share,
maybe to see my brain on paper and say to myself, your a scientist, you
understand this stuff but yet you ignore it.....you idiot. anyways, as
you can see im new here, pretty messed up and on a tough road of
discovery and awarness i spose.