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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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Alir88 Depression
  • replies: 12

Depression settles low Like a damp winter fog Enveloping me It's cold tendrils reaching out Wrapping me in their grip Squeezing Until I am fighting for every breath My lungs burn they struggle to expand The shallow rise and fall of my chest Disguisin... View more

Depression settles low Like a damp winter fog Enveloping me It's cold tendrils reaching out Wrapping me in their grip Squeezing Until I am fighting for every breath My lungs burn they struggle to expand The shallow rise and fall of my chest Disguising the panic That bubbles up Threatening to explode My hands Clench Tighter and tighter As I search for a distraction From the inner turmoil And pain Until another wave Overwhelms me Forcing a moan from my lips I close my eyes And contemplate the abyss in front of me The deep black nothingness Beckons And taunts Offering an escape From the crushing loneliness That is Depression

Goldenribbon What’s wrong with me please
  • replies: 5

Outwardly my life looks amazing and I feel guilty even writing this . I have so much to be grateful for but I feel so alone , so desperately lonely . I have adult children grandchildren and a husband . In my family I am the one who listens to others ... View more

Outwardly my life looks amazing and I feel guilty even writing this . I have so much to be grateful for but I feel so alone , so desperately lonely . I have adult children grandchildren and a husband . In my family I am the one who listens to others and no one would guess that I’m in deep trouble myself . My husband is distant and aloof but others tell me he’s always been likes that so I have to accept it . I married him because he felt safe and like what I needed after a violent relationship so yes I guess it’s true . I simply don’t inspire any passion in him , none and I mean in any way . Everyone in my life sees him as perfect because he provides for me and came into my life when I was a single mI’m. Even my kids favour him over me and when I left they took his side . Effectively I almost lost my family over it so I went back . Now I’ve lost any tiny bit of self respect. I have horrible health ( chronic pain) making holding down a job very hard , I cry all the time and the worse part is I’ve been seeing a counsellor for almost two years in secret ( because I’m terrified of letting anyone know how much I’m falling apart ) and I can’t even bring myself to tell her that I am so incredibly depressed that I lay awake in the middle of the night thinking how much I hate myself what a bad person I am and how no one cares about me not really . I can’t even think of a way out and if I could I’m sure I wouldn’t find the inner strength to take it . I used to be strong or think I was but not now . Even the pain I’m in I can’t share on any kind of level that people take serious because people are dismissive of me. I’ve looked back at my life and realised that as a child my parents didn’t like me , my two biggest relationships before marriage were very abusive and my husband now although he says he loves me is lukewarm . Basically people don’t like me . Men have only really liked me to use me for sex and women in general have never liked me . My own mother only started to act like she liked me in the last few years . I used to think it was a case of like yourself them others will follow but I really don’t think so . It must surely be the case that some people are born less lovable or likeable than others. . There’s a lot more . Things I feel bad about but I’ve written a novel already . Why can’t I tell anyone all this horrible stuff about me . What is wrong with me ? Thankyou to anyone who has taken the time to read my rant

Starry_starry_night A hopeless situation
  • replies: 5

I am currently having a major depressive episode. I don’t remember ever feeling this bad. This time there are so many things wrong in my life, I can’t see things getting better. I have been off work with an injury for the past 3 months and the only t... View more

I am currently having a major depressive episode. I don’t remember ever feeling this bad. This time there are so many things wrong in my life, I can’t see things getting better. I have been off work with an injury for the past 3 months and the only time I go out of the house is to appointments needed for my injury. My children have been taking me because I can’t drive at the moment. I don’t want to be around anybody, I cry all the time, I have no energy, I sleep up to 15 hours a day, feel no joy in anything and there is no light at the end of the tunnel. When I do go back to work, it’s a job I hate and dread going to work and struggle to physically do the job now. Can’t afford to train to do anything else and I am already 50. It’s almost impossible to get new work at my age, especially being in low entry level employment. About 18 months ago I found out that my 18yo daughter had been molested by my nephew from the age of 11. I blame myself. My daughter now has ptsd and all that goes along with that. I don’t know how to help her. My sister, who was my best friend, doesn’t speak to me anymore, because she blames my family for what happened at the hands of her son. My children and I are mostly ignored by the rest of the family as they would rather pretend that nothing happened. I also work for that sister, the situation is miserable. Last Christmas my children and I only had each other, while the rest of the family, all 28 of them, all had a wonderful Christmas Day together. I am dreading Christmas. I have been separated from my husband for almost 10 years, and I gave him my house in the settlement. Now we are in unstable accommodation. It’s constant stress. My ex’s girlfriend now lives in my old house and my children are no longer welcome there because she doesn’t want them there. All of my teeth are loose because of all my medication, and I don’t have the money to be able to do anything about it. I won’t cope at all with losing my teeth. It’s another thing I can’t fix. Reading through this sounds like I’m being a selfish sook. But I feel the whole situation is hopeless and can’t be fixed. Although I would never do anything to myself because of my children, I wake up everyday and wish I didn’t. I just don’t want to be here and deal with this crap every single day. I don’t know what to do. Please help.

Raine20 Pregnant and worried about the future
  • replies: 1

Sorry if this is hard to understand... I’m 22 weeks pregnant and recently some problems have been coming up involving my relationship, work and the future. I’ve just gone into my 20s and my partner and I have a 12 year age gap. He works 5 to 6 days a... View more

Sorry if this is hard to understand... I’m 22 weeks pregnant and recently some problems have been coming up involving my relationship, work and the future. I’ve just gone into my 20s and my partner and I have a 12 year age gap. He works 5 to 6 days a week whereas I’m only a casual and work very short shifts about 2 to 4 times a week. He is getting very stressed about being broke especially when baby comes. We have only been together just over a year and I had doubts coming into this relationship because I knew we were at very different stages in our lives. Although he was still living with his parents he had it set that he wanted to get married, have a family and buy his own house. I was 19 when we met and not doing very well in life, not having finished school and I had unaddressed issues with depression and was also developing anxiety. These were the reasons for my doubts, I worried I couldn’t pull myself out of it and build the lifestyle and career that I would need to help him get where he wanted to be in life. We’ve come along way since then and are renting our own house as well as having a baby on the way. Anyway, I’ve been going in and out of depression since being pregnant. I really want to have this baby, I had an early miscarriage a few months before becoming pregnant again, so I’m very happy about this pregnancy however I’m struggling to find motivation in all other aspects of my life. I’m finding it increasingly hard to enjoy work as I didn’t particularly like my job before. This is making me want to avoid it even more Because of the way it makes me feel. This is now causing problems in my relationship and I feel like I’m making my partner unhappy especially since he has problems with depression as well. We come from very different families and upbringings, I have a family history of alcoholics, addicts and mental health problems. I’m worried that my partner thinks I will end up the same, I don’t feel like I’m good enough to fit into his life and family. He says he loves me but I’m worried that will change if I can’t be happier and find some motivation. I’m worried that I’ll never be able to be the person he wanted. I don’t understand why is so hard for me to just get up and do the things I need to and why the more I think about it the more I just want to curl up and not talk to anyone. I want to be the kind of person who is happy and motivated to work hard. I don’t want this to ruin my relationship. I need some advice, I don’t know what to do.

andybee Spiralling into depression
  • replies: 6

I’ve been developing increased symptoms of depression as the year has gone on.. parallel to increased stress: children’s ill health (carers role), financial stress, ongoing single parenting. My own depression is at a point that I’ve had to lessen wor... View more

I’ve been developing increased symptoms of depression as the year has gone on.. parallel to increased stress: children’s ill health (carers role), financial stress, ongoing single parenting. My own depression is at a point that I’ve had to lessen work to manage, unfortunately making financial stress worse. It feels like things are beginning to spiral. I’ve not been in a relationship since my divorce 5 yrs ago as I’ve now got big trust issues and I’m also really protective about the home I’ve created for myself and my kids. although at the same time, I’m so lonely. And I’m worried we’ll have to move yet again, this time due to cost of rental. I just can’t seem to get out of this rut. Ive been trying everything I know; sticking to antidepressants, mindful apps, healthy eating.. nothing seems to help this time. sorry for the rant, I really don’t enjoy winging, I’m just at odds to know what to do.

Shestrying123 What's wrong with me?
  • replies: 1

I don't know what is wrong with me. I start to cry randomly and often I can't even comprehend why I am crying. From the outside, my life seems near perfect but I am not happy. I haven't been happy for quite some time. Its not constant. I can go about... View more

I don't know what is wrong with me. I start to cry randomly and often I can't even comprehend why I am crying. From the outside, my life seems near perfect but I am not happy. I haven't been happy for quite some time. Its not constant. I can go about my daily life, but I am not happy inside. If you asked why I was crying at any given moment, I probably wouldn't be able to tell you. I want to stop feeling like this.

Rebecca94 Does anyone else feel the same?
  • replies: 3

I’m not sure what the feeling is but I’ve felt strange for over 7 years. I go through waves of feeling great to being extremely down to the point that arguments take over my emotion and make me feel so low to the point life is not worth feeling these... View more

I’m not sure what the feeling is but I’ve felt strange for over 7 years. I go through waves of feeling great to being extremely down to the point that arguments take over my emotion and make me feel so low to the point life is not worth feeling these emotions anymore. Because it comes in such waves and isn’t consistent, I’ve struggled to seek help with this because quickly I can feel fine and I think it must be a ‘blip’. Does anyone else experience this?

Pineapple8 DEPRESSION IS TAKING OVER MY BODY
  • replies: 4

Ive been anxious for many year and as of recent have fallen into a deep depression. I physically can not move some days, I feel so sick to my stomach, tired, extremely unmotivated and see no point in anything. My thoughts have gotten more negative an... View more

Ive been anxious for many year and as of recent have fallen into a deep depression. I physically can not move some days, I feel so sick to my stomach, tired, extremely unmotivated and see no point in anything. My thoughts have gotten more negative and I’m always thinking ‘what if?’ and it is honestly debilitating. I don’t see the point in anything, I have no motivation and I’m SO SCARED. The depression began when my partner went away with his friends to Bali. He was away for nine days and has been back for almost a month, but I still have not been able to shake this depression. I’m so angry at myself. I’ve seen a psychologist 4 times and have been prescribed an antidepressant which I have just started today. Any tips or can anyone share their experience? it feels like a death sentence and I truly feel like I’m in the process of dying? I feel so scared and want to feel my old self again.

Find_hope My adult Sons depression and diagnoses of bipolar
  • replies: 8

My Son who is in his early thirties has fallen into very deep depression. Nearly 3 months ago he was having delusions. And was exhibiting some psychotic behaviour. For someone who has worked hard since he moved to the city. He has never shown any sig... View more

My Son who is in his early thirties has fallen into very deep depression. Nearly 3 months ago he was having delusions. And was exhibiting some psychotic behaviour. For someone who has worked hard since he moved to the city. He has never shown any signs of anything like this. After being admitted to a hospital he was given high does of medications. His doctor didn't give him a chance to describe what happened properly. I believe five minutes or so. He has anew psychiatrist now and another hospital admission. And changes to medications. He has now been diagnosed with Bipolar, which has really shocked and upset him. Before his first hospital admission he wasn't as depressed. Now it's overwhelming him and he says he can't try anymore. He has now will he says. There maybe a new type of medication prescribed.his psychiatrist is on holidays. So here is back living with us his parents on a rural property away from friends. He's feeling like he's in prison and everything is hopeless. He left he's job and sold his home just prior to the psychotic episodes. I'm not sure if the reality of this triggered the Bipolar. Or that he had used some recreation drug during that time. Again something he had never done. He says he has no future and regrets leaving his job. He has also had a relationship breakup three years ago. At that time he suffered depression. He worked so hard to get back on his feet. He also suffered depression 7 years ago after another relationship breakup. I am making sure he is eating and sometimes I can get him to walk. He can't read a book or listen to music as he said it makes him feel sick. He can't understand why all his friends are happy and have everything going well for them. He wonders why he's been punished. He does have feelings that his father abandoned him emotionally when he was growing up. His father argued a lot with me his Mum. He says he feels abandoned as he should have realised what his yelling was doing to him as a child. He also feels abandoned by the women in the relationships he had. I give him all my support and love. His father does too. But is oblivious to the harm he may have caused to our Son. I try to encourage him and tell him everything will be ok. After nearly 3 months he has lost hope. There have been many medication changes. Nothing is helping with his depression yet. Can anyone tell me how to help him

Costa_72 Depression - I write poems
  • replies: 7

Hi all, I have pretty bad depression. My only outlet is writing poems. Don’t know if it helps but I do like being creative and putting my thoughts down. Thought I’d share some of my stuff. Not very good but hope you understand it. Trees of Self Image... View more

Hi all, I have pretty bad depression. My only outlet is writing poems. Don’t know if it helps but I do like being creative and putting my thoughts down. Thought I’d share some of my stuff. Not very good but hope you understand it. Trees of Self Image A tranquil roseate forest full of life Echoing with both sound and silence You’d think a peaceful place to be Amongst all its magnetic beauty There is much we don’t quite know The constant struggle to survive The never ending chain of command The eternal and biter cycle of life Winged creatures fighting for their nest The four legged will die for their next meal Undergrowth begging For attention And of course the dignified trees Thick roots always searching the Earth Heavy limbs writhing and weaving Contorted boughs searching for the light Competing for a chance at supremacy In the silence they shed bark like tears Through the sounds they hide their fears A fate that can never be escaped They can never exist beyond just being I wonder what Judas was thinking in the forest that day.... C.K.