Isolation

[bee2003]

Lately i've just felt this emptiness and sadness that won't go away. Even if I see people I always feel lonely? I used to have a problem with drugs and part of recovering was me cutting off the majority of the friends I had at the time. I'd known most of them my whole life and even though cutting them off was the right thing for my recovery I still feel this pain of not having anyone who really knows me. It feels like most people my age have groups of friends they've known for years and thats what gives them confidence to meet new people and expand their circle. For me it feels like I'm starting from scratch all on my own and it's gotten to the point where my self esteem is so low and I'm so jealous of everyone around me. I don't know how to get out of this hole and I can't stop crying from the loneliness. Any advice on rebuilding friendships would be helpful.

[BOC64]

Hi bee

Unfortunately I wish I could give you that advice as I find it difficult to develop and maintain relationships with either friends or partners.

I do though want to congratulate you on your bravery and achievements.

JC

[Summer Rose]

Hi bee2003

Welcome to the bb forum and thank you for sharing your story.

I can remember feeling just like you some 30 years ago when I left behind all of my family and friends in my home country and moved to Australia. I know it's different in that I could still speak with them on the phone (pre Internet days) but it was very bittersweet-- sometimes I would feel lonlier after talking to someone from home.

I made initial friends with my neighbours and I am still close with some of them, despite moving twice since then. I also made new friends at work and through various community groups. It took time and effort but gradually over time my network grew.

One important lesson I learned during this time was how important it was to focus on what I had and try not to worry too much about what I didn't have.

In my case, I had the love of my life and an amazing opportunity to build a fulfilling new life with meaning. In your case, you have your health back and a fresh chance to make the most of your life--you have the opportunity to live your best life.

Try and think if there is a person out there in your world you could see yourself being friends with. Maybe someone from the pre-drugs time of your life, someone you met in recovery, a cousin, neighbour, work mate. Start small, maybe suggest a coffee.

If no one comes to mind I encourage you to think about activities you might enjoy. Sports, art class, volunteer work for a cause you believe in or even the local surf life saving club and give some thought to expanding your world.

You are amazing to have turned your life around. Baby steps forward and I believe it will get better for you.

Kind thoughts to you