Life sufferer of depression

[Lonely40]

Hi all Just signed up and thought I'd share.

 I am a single mother of three children and have been battling depression
most of my life. I have been raising my children alone for the past 11
years and in that time have had only one friend,  but since she moved
away I haven't had any friends for the past seven years. I live in a
small town and it's hard to find new friends because everyone has their
clicky groups. I don't go out because I hate going on my own. The
hardest thing I find is not having anyone to talk to and do things with,
while everyone else is getting together for coffee and such, I spend my
days off at home either cleaning the house or watching movies. I feel
I'm destined to be alone for the rest of my life.

So that's me

Looking forward to talking to you

[white knight]

Hi lonely

There are really only 3 or 4 ways to get you out of this lonely bind.

1/ Computer dating or friendship. Some people have no faith in it. I do because times have changed whether we like it or not. My daughter met a great guy on line, next year they will marry. Gone are the days of courtship at ballroom dancing.

2/ Hobbies. Take one up. Sewing? Knitting, etc - my wife attends a sewing group every Wednesday. And she is shy. She love sit.

3/ Sports. Volleyball, Badminton, tennis, hiking clubs etc. And it keeps you fit.

4/ Voluntary groups- lions/rotary clubs, country fire help (I knew an older man that when the siren went off he's straight away make scones so when they returned they had something to eat and drink), op shop help and so on.

Now that you have some suggestions being proactive on your part will be the challenge.

Google these below for some reading to do with this-

"Topic: Ostracised– whos fault is it? - beyondblue"

"Topic: Boredom the closed door to fun- beyondblue"

"Topic: 30 minutes can change your life- beyondblue"

Tony WK

[Lonely40]

Hi Tony

Thanks for your response,

A bit scared of the computer dating, not sure of a reputable site. Might be something to look into. There's not many groups I can go to as they mostly happen when I am at work, I did try my hand in knitting at home but just couldn't get the knack of it. There's not really any sports i can do in my town except soccer but I don't really like soccer not to mention how unfit I am and the trouble is I am always tired because I have trouble sleeping so I don't have the motivation to do anything. After working Tues to Sat all I want to do is relax on my days off.

[JessF]

Hello Lonely, how do you get on with the people where you work?  

[Lonely40]

Hi JessF

We only have three people work at a time as it is a cafe and I am the cook I keep mostly to myself and just get on with my job.

[Anahata]

Ugh, yes I find it so hard making friends too. Being social takes energy that much of the time I don't have.

I also live in a small town and I like to keep to myself to avoid gossip and stuff. I started going to a meditation group in another town. It is a 40 minute drive but I enjoy it and it has helped a lot with my anxiety. I can't say I have made any friends from it as I find it very difficult to make friends, but I do now have some very lovely acquaintances and something of a social outlet. I guess if I was really in a jam I could call on some of those people and they would be happy to help.

Meditation is great for helping you switch your brain off from overthinking everything and helps you relax. Best of all, it's not sport! The people tend to be nice and friendly too.

I find online dating pretty confronting. You have to be feeling confident to do that IMO.