Life of the Party but Alone

[RupertTurtleMan]

I got diagnosed with ADHD earlier in the year and started working on myself and lost heaps of weight, started working out etc and got really into shape, and became sober.

I feel healthy, have a great job, and people like having me around because I am the life if the party, and I go with the flow but I still feel alone.

I am far more productive, the other issues my ADHD was causing pretty much went away, but still I feel alone and empty.

The only thing that makes me genuinely feel happy is playing with my son, and really is the only reason I get out of bed in the morning and follow my routine.

I've felt like this on and off for years, and it genuinely did get better when I became sober and started working in myself but still this persists, and I don't really have anyone to talk to since I just have to "man up".

[Petal22]

Hi RuperTurlteMan,

Wellcome to our forums!

Thanks for reaching out to us and please don’t feel like you have to man up.

There is help available to you for the way that you are feeling.

Please make an appointment with your gp and discuss how you feel, you could do a mental health together this will enable you to see a psychologist.

[sbella02]

Hey RupertTurtleMan,

Thanks for your post, and a warm welcome to our community forums!

It's fantastic to hear that you've been working on yourself and have become sober. That's an amazing achievement and you should feel very proud of yourself.

In terms of feeling like you have to "man up", there's no shame in expressing your emotions, admitting when something doesn't feel right to you, and working towards making yourself happier. I know it's easier said than done, but please don't feel like you have to hide how you're feeling or repress your emotions. I think a great first step is confiding in us on these forums and I applaud your bravery and openness.

I understand what you're saying. I would also be considered the "life of the party", even though sometimes I just feel so alone both in and away from social situations.

I agree with Petal22, it would probably be a good idea to have a chat to a professional about how you're feeling. A trusted therapist, counsellor, psychologist, or GP would be a great place to start.

Do you have any friends or family you could confide in about this? You may find that voicing your feelings will make you feel better and even less alone/empty. There may even be people around you who are experiencing similar situations.

I wish you all the best, please continue to chat with us!

Kind regards, SB

[geoff]

Hello RupertTurtleMan, becoming sober alters how your mates think of you, not necessarily as a person but differently because you aren't drinking, this will eventually subside away as they get used to it and all of you can accept that you're sober and they're drinking.

They may try and entice you to have a drink and the only reason you could be feeling alone is that when you were drinking whatever was said you'd join the laugh with everyone else, now that you're sober, what your mates laugh at while drinking, doesn't seem to be as funny to when you were drinking and the comments you made while having a few are different to when you're sober.

This will slowly change as you adapt to your situation.

Geoff.