Life down the drain

[DanaS]

Hi,

 It said to share as that might help dealing with emotions so I'm trying it.

The job I had was hell, about 10 hours of un-paid over-time a week, constant stress, constant bereating from management that what was being done with a team of 7 can't be done with a team of 1. a few months before new year I finally got an apprentice to help me out, but yeah teaching takes more time so no quick result. 

Anyway I put up with it because I couldn't find another job and we'd bought a home in Byford and finally adopted 2 little girls.

Then in February my partner and I were in a car crash, the car was totalled but we only had a little whiplash. Damage was beyond our insurance cover since it was an old car they pay out wasn't even enough to buy a new one.

And then 2 maybe 3 weeks later the GM pulls me aside and tells me that they're getting rid of me in favor of my aprentice yipee. At first I was kinda happy out of the hell hole. Then the financial problems hit home.

I've been job hunting every since and send out between 20 and a 100 applications a day and receive dozens of rejections each week. Since it's been going down hill.

Every idea I've had to save my familie has been shot down by banks, government, possible employers. nobody seems to want to deal with me at all.

Even centerlink won't help us because my partner is not on minimum wage she earns just enough to pay our morgage but hey we need food and pay bills as well. And I got told very firmly by centerlink that they won't help us as long as we have our home. So we need to lose everything before they'll even give us a break.

my car is gone, my job is gone, and every week something else seems to happen. my laptop dies, on of our girls gets sick and needs treatment, I get injured,it's constantly going on and I'm not holding on very well anymore.

I'm a lesbian woman with chronic illness and chronic pain, and nobody wants to have anything to do with me,and I can't seem to be strong anymore I haven't stopped crying since I woke up today.

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[Macka90]

Welcome to the forum and thanks for sharing ur story.

it sounds like you are going through a very rough patch at the moment, I too not long ago was in the same boat, other then I wasn't working, I'm a stay at home mum of 3 and my partner was running his own truck business with his dad well his dad has other ideas and stopped that and tried something else, during this time of getting another business off the ground they were not working so we weren't getting money unless we borrowed from his dad as he is a gambler or we would sell our beautiful snakes, that's when my depression started but I didn't notice it, I noticed when my body finally crashed and done so in the worse way. 

My patner is now working back in the truck without his dad as it's easier on us, it does get better but unfortunately it takes time even finding the right job can take time also saying that I know how u feel because u need to pay the bills and put food on the table for ur family. 

Im only new to handing out advice, just remember IT DOES get better. 

Pare you on meds for ur depression?

[DanaS]

Thanks for the reply sorry it took a bit to answer haven't been able to access the internet in a bit.

I'm not on meds for depression no, I'm even cutting down on my own other meds so we can afford meds for our girls. They come first always and a dollar only stretches so far.

I'm still job hunting, still nothing. Everyone tells me it will get better, but so far it only seems to keep sliding down hill. Had a slight asthma attack which was affecting me for a few days and I got told by the recruitment agency to not weeze so much, makes employers think you'll take to many sick days.

Guesse the hardest part is that I spend 5 years going through hell to attain my dream, and now that I was within reach it all comes crashing down. I could see and almost feel my dreams becoming reality.

My own home, the kids the gentle life a bit out of the city, and now it's just falling down.

[Mike_101]

Hi Dana

All the things you mentioned are life changing situations - the loss of job, the adoption of kids, the car accident etc. so they are all major problems that will affect most people in a negative way unfortunately. However you don't really seem to mention any support from your family or partner apart from she helps pay the mortgage. While it's not going to get you a job and magically change your situation, I think you need to try and put less pressure on yourself. Hopefully your partner is supportive (I assume she is, since you were able to adopt children) and can help you through these frustrating months. But try not to put so much pressure on yourself, I'm sure your partner knows that your current situation isn't of your making.

Centerlink's mission statement should be something along the lines of "to make your life worse" having dealt with them myself they seem to make it their mission in life to make your life as complicated and frustrating as possible. And they don't exactly seem to be the most uplifting people to deal with especially when your already feeling down or struggling.

While it wont solve all your problems overnight it might help to think outside the box if Centerlink hasn't already suggested it. Im not sure what help you're trying to receive from Centerlink but are you able to try to to study and apply for Austudy? (if you can't get Newstart) The requirements for Austudy and Newstart might be a little different and while it wont be much it might help with grocery bills and medical expenses if you qualify (depending on the course the fees also might be deferred). Also it might help down the track for job hunting depending on what you study. Alternatively there is the NEIS program which is designed to help financially support people wishing to start their own small business (they also provide a small business course as part of the program). Both might help financially, as well as in regards to the job searching, if they haven't suggested them.

Your recruitment agency sounds encouraging - I wonder if they tell people with disabilities to become less disabled so employers will look more favorably on them. One of the worst thing about looking for a job, you start thinking in your head you can do the job better than other people you have to deal with, yet somehow they got the job 😉

Kind regards
Mike