Lashing out and feel down all the time

[Joe8]

Hi there,

I'm 21 so it's probably normal that this feels hard for me to post.. I've been sitting on the idea of joining this forum for ages now, I'm in a pretty rough spot so I thought I should finally do something.

I think I've been suffering from some type of depression for well over a year now, probably close to 3 years.. but never knew what to do about it, for the most part I thought I've been dealing with it okay-ish... But for about the last 6 months I've found myself getting irritated and lashing out at friends/family for no real reason.. Most of the time no one says anything, but I feel annoyed at myself for days after an event, I'll say to myself "just don't do that again".. Seems easy enough to me but then I go and do it again..

Only a few days ago at a new years event.. I got very drunk, riled up and really lashed out.. I didn't remember doing it, I only know about it because the next day a mate was really concerned about me so told me about it. It's made me really want to get to the bottom of this, and I think it's been an issue for as I said, a few years.. But I thought I was dealing with it in a way, like there are periods where I'm super happy, but they are extremely few and far between.. And in the time between I'm just down and find it hard to really speak to anyone. I used to think I was slowly dealing with it, now I think I haven't at all and just putting off the inevitable, now I feel I'm at or close to a 'breaking point' so to speak..

Even writing all this out I feel like there's so much more going on. I'm always overthinking, can't sleep, having conversations in my head and things etc.. Even things I'm not even sure how to put into words.

I've never really thought about seeing someone, cause I just don't see how that can help.. So I thought to ask for some advice here first, but I think I should act on this before I start pushing away friends (if I haven't already).. I do have a pretty good relationship with my GP so I'm not worried about seeing him, I'm probably more nervous about what I say to him, and then what steps follow that..

Thanks for reading, I hope it wasn't too much of a ramble.. Any advice is welcome. 🙂

[Summer Rose]

Hi Joe

Welcome to the bb forum and congratulations on having the courage to post and share your story.

I’m really pleased that you chose to join our community. Just so you know who you are communicating with, I’m a mum who has cared for a now adult child who has anxiety and OCD for the past ten years.

I’m so sorry that you have been experiencing depression and anger outbursts. I can imagine you must be tired and frustrated given your battles with this over the past three years. Hugs to you.

From my experience, many people try to manage mental health issues on their own for a variety of reasons—stigma, fear, cost, etc. You are not alone.

But it’s kind of like trying to climb a mountain blindfolded with your arms tied behind your back. In other words, really really hard to get to the top.

Your idea of talking to your GP is definitely the way to go. Please book a double appointment, so you have plenty of time to talk. If you’re not sure what to say, you can show him/her your post or jot down some dot points to help keep you on track.

GPs deal with patients experiencing mental health issues every day. They literally have heard it all before (there’s no shame and nothing to fear) and are well placed to help.

Your GP will be able to offer you advice, a strategy for moving forward and likely prepare a mental health care plan for you. This plan enables you to access Medicare rebates should your GP recommend that you speak with a psychologist.

The good news is that with the right treatment many people recover from depression and anxiety. It can get better.

In the meantime there are a few things you can do. Try to get a regular sleep routine in place and undertake plenty of exercise. Engage in activities that you enjoy and maintain your social connections. Consider limiting your alcohol consumption.

How does this sound to you? I’m here to support you, along with many others. Feel free to post any time.

Kind thoughts to you

[Joe8]

Thank you for your reply! I really appreciate it.

It really does feel like climbing a mountain blindfolded with my hands behindmy back.. So I think I'll book an appointment with my GP soon!

[geoff]

Hello Joe, if you have a good relationship with your doctor, that's half the battle done and if I can suggest writing down points that are making yourself be like this (in point form) then he can read through what you've written and understand the problems you're facing.

Try not to miss anything out, especially as the communication is good, you are there for a specific reason and as Summer Rose has said ask him about the mental health plan.

Don't worry what you say to him, he's your doctor.

You can also contact Kids Helpline 5 to 25 years on 1800 55 1800 where you will be assigned a counsellor who can help you and can regularly talk with.

This can be done by phone, webchat or online.

Take care.

Geoff.