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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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AceCowboy I feel like I can't talk to anyone, because I feel I'm not being listened
  • replies: 4

As the title says, I've found myself in a rut that I cannot seem to find a way out of. I suffer from anxiety and depression, and I have serious trust issues stemming from mental abuse from my mother. I also feel like I've failed in life, as I have ba... View more

As the title says, I've found myself in a rut that I cannot seem to find a way out of. I suffer from anxiety and depression, and I have serious trust issues stemming from mental abuse from my mother. I also feel like I've failed in life, as I have basically given up any interest I've had because of toxic people, with nobody there to help me or encourage me to continue. Even now, I'm overweight, no matter how much exercise and dieting I do. Work at a horrible job where people are trying to get me fired. And no friends/relationships to talk to. I've been to 3 different therapists, and all 3 have not helped. Every time I try to talk to someone about it, I mostly get people disinterested to hear it, or they downplay what I say as "attention seeking" or stupid. The very few people that will listen, I feel they are not seeing things how I describe it, and tend to go in circles around the issue and ultimately not getting anywhere. Only for them at times to get fed up and claim "I'm don't want their advice". Sometimes I feel like maybe my mother was right, that I'm worthless and people would be better off if I were gone

Lonely_Cookie Lonely and empty
  • replies: 7

Hi Even though I am married with kids I feel so empty and lonely. I have never been great at making friends or keeping them, as a child/teenager I was always to scared to bring friends home because you never knew when my dad was in a good or bad mood... View more

Hi Even though I am married with kids I feel so empty and lonely. I have never been great at making friends or keeping them, as a child/teenager I was always to scared to bring friends home because you never knew when my dad was in a good or bad mood and he is the type of person that thought everyone should think and believe in what he did and looked down on those who didn’t. So it was easier just not to have friends. I am now in my late 30’s but I have spent the whole time until I was about 23 when I moved out of home, not having friends or at least A very few for a short time but no real close friends . Since being married and having Kids I am finding even harder to make or spend time with anyone in order to have any friends, so I pretty much gave up trying to keep any friendship. I had and the couple of people who I thought were my friends never made contact with me after I mentally decided not to try any more. My husband doesn’t drive as he has poor eyesight so I have to drive him to and from work and because he works weekends only, I feel I can’t do anything because if I do I’ll have to stop part way through to pick him up from work. He works weekends and I work during the week, so we never see each other, other then a couple of hours at night but then I’m dealing with kids, so no quality time together, which makes me feel even more lonely and empty. I am also finding I’m holding a lot of resentment towards my husband because of this but also because he doesn’t work during the week he spends time every week with his friends Playing games even if he has the kids he just lets them run wild and destroy everything while he plays his games. Because I’ve never had a close friends or family members I’ve never been able to talk to people about how I feel, this includes my husband and I feel Because if my insecurities with relationships I feel I’m holding my kids back as well and doing them more harm then good, which makes me wonder if they would be better off with out me.

Blackknight So many things happening
  • replies: 4

Hi all, For a while now I have been feeling quite sad, hopeless, etc. I am always tired, even with a 9 hour + of sleeping, I am struggling to keep up with work with how tired I am being. I have lost interest in things I loved doing, I am hardly socia... View more

Hi all, For a while now I have been feeling quite sad, hopeless, etc. I am always tired, even with a 9 hour + of sleeping, I am struggling to keep up with work with how tired I am being. I have lost interest in things I loved doing, I am hardly social with any of my friends. I had just recently broke up with my girlfriend that lives so far away and I hardly got to see her. We couldn't do it due to the distance. I hated that I had to do it , it was just too hard. I just want to be able to feel that happiness I did years ago, I am slowly becoming more social and meeting new people.

chrisau I feel like I'm about to die
  • replies: 7

Hi, I'm Chris. I suffer from depression. Sometimes I have a sense of emptiness in my life, often associated with the feeling that something very bad is going to happen, like that I will die in a few days, even if I have no reasons to believe that. Is... View more

Hi, I'm Chris. I suffer from depression. Sometimes I have a sense of emptiness in my life, often associated with the feeling that something very bad is going to happen, like that I will die in a few days, even if I have no reasons to believe that. Is this a normal symptom of depression? How can I deal with the sense of emptiness and the feeling that something bad is going to happen? Any response will be appreciated.

Enterprise Not brave enough to fix depression
  • replies: 4

Hi. I’ve been depressed for twelve years now. I’m sure some of you can relate. When it first started as a teenager, I made the mistake of talking to people about it. I was told everything from I’m lying and making it up to there’s nothing wrong with ... View more

Hi. I’ve been depressed for twelve years now. I’m sure some of you can relate. When it first started as a teenager, I made the mistake of talking to people about it. I was told everything from I’m lying and making it up to there’s nothing wrong with my life and I should just get over it. So I stopped talking about it. And now I don’t know how to talk about it. I think I should talk to someone. But I can’t. If I tell my family, they’ll say the same things they did before. I can’t tell a professional because if I even mention suicide they say they’ll be forced to report me to the authorities. And the authorities will tell my family. Even if my family finally accept I have depression, they won’t help me. They’ll throw me out. I probably deserve that. Maybe I should leave anyway. I don’t have anywhere to go but being homeless can’t be any worse than living a lie, right? I don’t know. Maybe someone here has lived through something similar, and you can tell me if there’s any hope. Thank you for reading my post.

killetti recovering from a covert narcissist parent
  • replies: 4

i broke down at the end of last year, my mental health, and the pressures of the end of the year overwhelmed me. i basically cired for 4 days straight. Now its the new year and i'm lucky to be working from home but i dont feel fully ready. I have no ... View more

i broke down at the end of last year, my mental health, and the pressures of the end of the year overwhelmed me. i basically cired for 4 days straight. Now its the new year and i'm lucky to be working from home but i dont feel fully ready. I have no leave.... so i'd have to take unpaid leave, and i can't see my dr or psych yet, they are on leave. i'm on struggle street. my emotions are welling up i feel insecure and vulnerable, and unable to concentrate. i can "try harder" but at the moment work is quiet, and i need to be self directed to get things done and i'd rather 'look after me' and be a puddle on the couch. its a fine line, whats unreasonable? what's selfish? what do you just push on through? I'm an adult dealing with the discovery that my mother was a covert narcissist, and every holidays i have to process this because im supposed to see her. i've made breakthroughs over this holiday realising she has gaslit and abused me for my whole life, i dont owe her any more. but its hard, i am much closer to believing that. but its hard. even thinking about it is hurting. and processing what this means for my (dead) father who was passive through all this), my relationship and memories of him while i'm still grieving for him (6 years gone). there's so myuch betrayal and hurt to process. we were told we were a perfect family, and when i complained it was my fault... and i like me now, but with covid and everything else going on i'm scared, i'm tired, i'm finding it difficult to maintain equilibrium. my feelings are harder to just put in a box or breathe and rerlax away, because there's so much to "deal with" and process. and i want to get better, not repress and depress and get worse?I have friends at work and in my personal life but i'm otherwise completely alone, no family. and its a lot for my friends to support me through. and my work are asking how my mum is and its like... well.... google "covert narcissist parents"

Rob_1994 I've been taught to think negatively
  • replies: 4

Hi everyone. My last post was an introduction of myself and my difficulties to express how I feel on a day to day basis. That post was 5 months ago so it took me quite a while to reflect. I believe the best word to sum it all is "Negativity". I feel ... View more

Hi everyone. My last post was an introduction of myself and my difficulties to express how I feel on a day to day basis. That post was 5 months ago so it took me quite a while to reflect. I believe the best word to sum it all is "Negativity". I feel like I've been taught to think negatively but not directly. It was my experience in school that makes me believe this, from kindergarten all the way up to year 12. I had indifferences with both students and teachers, spent all my school life alone and fending for myself but yet I had no one to really give me any motivation. I've never achieved academically and just remained at the bottom of the barrel, I was more concerned that I wasn't able to get along with anyone in primary school. I was hoping high school would be a fresh start but it got worse throughout the years. I didn't improve academically and I was bullied for it by classmates. Even though teachers expect their students to get help from them, I had trouble with this mainly because of their hostile attitude towards me. I was clearly a bad listener in class and all I just got from teachers were threats if I couldn't keep up, I was threaten with expulsion by my principle. I found it hard overtime to interact with others because I developed a thinking process that convinces me to avoid people because I'm awkward, pathetic and a bad listener who's seems disinterested. I'll be 28 in April this year and till this day, I'm scared of people and communication is poor. I still linger on the past because it's 18 years of nothing but bad memories and nothing has changed for me. I'm still a bad listener, I have a distaste for anyone who comes near me and I absolutely have no ambition to try new things, challenge myself or take risks due to my fear of failure. I'm a negative thinker because of bad history and I'm stuck in it. The frustrating thing is I want to improve, I want to be able to go out and communicate, I want to develop new skills so I can pursue a great career but it's too overwhelming for me because all these negative thoughts keep coming back to haunt me. I hope I'm posting this in the right forum since I consider negativity a symptom of depression. The idea that you can never amount to anything and taking on responsibilities feels scary.

Boymum88 I cant get off this round-a-bout
  • replies: 2

Help! Busy mum of 3, working FT, relationship of 10 years. Previously diagnosed with depression & anxiety and recently feeling really crappy. Work is stressful. Life is stressful. Covid is stressful. My partner is REALLY trying to help us reconnect a... View more

Help! Busy mum of 3, working FT, relationship of 10 years. Previously diagnosed with depression & anxiety and recently feeling really crappy. Work is stressful. Life is stressful. Covid is stressful. My partner is REALLY trying to help us reconnect and be intimate. I understand what and why hes doing it, my little efforts go unnoticed. My energy is constantly being put into work (management position, supporting others constantly) my kids and i admit my relationship is always bottom of my list despite knowing i need him and want him around. Im pushing him away! I am so tired, all the time. Im so exhausted. Id rather starve than make myself something to eat. I would rather cry in the shower than watch a movie with my kids. Im exhausted from pretending to be ok and maintain this superstar attitude at work. I want to quit it all! I see the effort my partner is making, i see he is trying but i dont know how to respond. Im so disconnected from the real world that i feel stupid. How do I save my relationship when I am so lost within myself? -super sad mum xx

JJ47 Feel like nothing is going my way.
  • replies: 4

Hi, I feel like nothing in my life is going my way. (20 y/o student) Firstly, two years ago to now i have been investing my money trying to grow my assets. However over the past two years collectively i am down more than 20 grand and see no real prof... View more

Hi, I feel like nothing in my life is going my way. (20 y/o student) Firstly, two years ago to now i have been investing my money trying to grow my assets. However over the past two years collectively i am down more than 20 grand and see no real profits in sight making my feel as if i have just wasted my time working for nothing. Around 3 months ago i bought my first car and renewed the registration, renewed CTP and third party insurance but just today i crashed the car, totally my fault going too fast at a corner losing control and skidding into a pole. Will most likely recieve a fine for negligent driving and will have to write off my car most likely, losing my first car that was around 5 grand within just 3 months of having it. To keep my mind off the financial lossess from my investments i tried going to the gym but through this i have discovered i am injury prone often incurring tendonitis most likely due to my inactivity of childhood. Thus i have found myself progressing backwards rather than forwards due to constant injuries. Coupled with the fact i have body image issues because of my gynecomastia i feel like i have made 0 progress in the gym within 2 years while i see others changing their lives within their first year of going to the gym. Additionaly the times when i am now at home i feel like i lack purpose or sense of direction. While i was still in university i would often work towards school work but having now completed my degree i have all this spare time at home but just watch youtube feeling as if im wasting my time doing nothing productive with my life. With everyone around me such as family doing so well in thier lives its hard to for me to keep going when it feels like everything ive done has been a waste of time and as if i havent done anything these past 2 years. So in this situation how can i somehow find the light in this, how can i discover the will and drive to continue forward as it feels any time i attempt to better my life i get set back.

Joe8 Lashing out and feel down all the time
  • replies: 3

Hi there, I'm 21 so it's probably normal that this feels hard for me to post.. I've been sitting on the idea of joining this forum for ages now, I'm in a pretty rough spot so I thought I should finally do something. I think I've been suffering from s... View more

Hi there, I'm 21 so it's probably normal that this feels hard for me to post.. I've been sitting on the idea of joining this forum for ages now, I'm in a pretty rough spot so I thought I should finally do something. I think I've been suffering from some type of depression for well over a year now, probably close to 3 years.. but never knew what to do about it, for the most part I thought I've been dealing with it okay-ish... But for about the last 6 months I've found myself getting irritated and lashing out at friends/family for no real reason.. Most of the time no one says anything, but I feel annoyed at myself for days after an event, I'll say to myself "just don't do that again".. Seems easy enough to me but then I go and do it again.. Only a few days ago at a new years event.. I got very drunk, riled up and really lashed out.. I didn't remember doing it, I only know about it because the next day a mate was really concerned about me so told me about it. It's made me really want to get to the bottom of this, and I think it's been an issue for as I said, a few years.. But I thought I was dealing with it in a way, like there are periods where I'm super happy, but they are extremely few and far between.. And in the time between I'm just down and find it hard to really speak to anyone. I used to think I was slowly dealing with it, now I think I haven't at all and just putting off the inevitable, now I feel I'm at or close to a 'breaking point' so to speak.. Even writing all this out I feel like there's so much more going on. I'm always overthinking, can't sleep, having conversations in my head and things etc.. Even things I'm not even sure how to put into words. I've never really thought about seeing someone, cause I just don't see how that can help.. So I thought to ask for some advice here first, but I think I should act on this before I start pushing away friends (if I haven't already).. I do have a pretty good relationship with my GP so I'm not worried about seeing him, I'm probably more nervous about what I say to him, and then what steps follow that.. Thanks for reading, I hope it wasn't too much of a ramble.. Any advice is welcome.

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