Hello, depressed and Lonely.

[Argirios]

Not sure where to start, I suffer depression (taking some medication for it) and have for a long time, though didn't really see professional help until a little over a year ago.

I have no close friends. I probably wouldn't even say I have distant friends. Acquaintances at best.
Never been in a relationship. Not even close. This can really hold me back as I can't even relate to people on either of these topics. Worse when I try to express my feelings and then it often gets taken over quickly bwith someone else's relationship issue and then the group would discuss that because it is more relatable/interesting.

I've joined various clubs/groups that had similar interests though they all knew each other on more personal levels and from other locations that I never truly felt like I was part of them. Even after years. I would look forward to it all week, but then as soon as it was over for the session, it was over. As if I didn't matter. They've all also either disbanded or moved on.

I probably have anxiety issues though that comes and goes. The worst was a couple years ago at a lonely station I experienced a strong feeling of an absence of imaginary people.

I used to enjoy hobbies many years ago but seems worth less these days. It can be hard for me to truly say what hobbies I have.

I saw one Psychologist for 5 sessions that didn't help. Then I saw another for two and felt it would go the same way. Not sure if there is an easier way to search for psychologists as I need to do this again before seeing my GP again for another referral.

Last few days felt like maybe I was feeling more sadness then depression. Like I had accepted the state I was in, in a good way. But I feel the depression creep back when I felt like caring again. Trying to reach out to possible friends.

Sorry for the long post.

[smallwolf]

hello and welcome to the forums.

on finding a psychologist... have you tried using this service -

https://psychology.org.au/find-a-psychologist

PART 1

I hope what I am about to say comes out ok... I have been seeing a psychologist for 3 years. I would like to think I am getting better. Like you I take ADs - the psychiatrist believes talk therapy goes hand in hand with medication. At first it was major depression and anxiety. Six months later it was suicidal thoughts. (This was 2+ years ago.) After 5 sessions I cannot really say there was much of a diagnosis and we were getting to know each other still.

Now we all have different pathways, depending on circumstances etc. Some people may need less sessions and others more. And perhaps there are those for which it does not work?

PART 2

When you were trying to get support from others, it sounded as though it was thrown back at you or ignored. That sounds wrong to me. Whatever the issues were at the time are just as important.

PART 3

I am interested to find out more about you. What you like? What you do each day? etc. I am sure you have a story to tell and I can listen you tell it.

Last bit... your post was just the right length.

[geoff]

Hello Argirios, thanks for coming to the site here, all of us have been through our own type of depression but reach out trying to help one another in similar circumstances and thanks Smallwolf for your reply.

If sadness continues for an extended amount of time, it can be classified as depression, although I'm not a doctor to say.

When we first see a psychologist it's not easy because we feel as though we have to tell them everything in the first session about what's concerning us, but in actual fact, that's not right because if they know and notice that we are suffering, they will need to try and find the causes, but we have to feel as though we are comfortable in opening up to them.

As much as you want to be in a relationship and that's completely understandable, let's try and help you through this because on this site you can tell us anything, whereas in a relationship your partner might not be able to cope at the beginning with how you are struggling.

Take care.

Geoff.

[blondguy]

Hello Argirios

I feel your pain as I have been in the same situation and it can be horrible to experience. Just for myself my GP was the best help I ever had as I never knew how good they are with mental health...Sure some GP's dont get it but many doctors have a better understanding re depression/anxiety than I thought

Your post was fine....the forums are a safe and non judgmental place for us to post!

any questions are always welcome Argirios

my kind thoughts always

Paul

[Argirios]

Thank you everyone.
Smallwolf I briefly looked at that site though I guess I'll take another look.

Some of my main concerns with the first psychologist was that they gave me homework to do in session one and even at the end of the 5th session he didn't even refer back to it, even after I occasionally brought it up. Also through out the first four session suggesting things I'd already tried repeatedly. Then by the fifth finally agreeing with me that I needed friends. The second was following a similar style.

In relation to GPs, I go to one of the slightly larger clinics, that have multiple GPs and the like. The first few I saw all left soon after, so the one I see now seems less like to move on any time soon,

For more info.
I am 35 years old.
Reaching out to people I know for possible friendship or the like is painful because it fails, or worse gets my hopes up even barely to fail harder later.