I should be happy *trigger warning - weight*

[Clobug11]

Hi everyone, this is my first post. I seem to have gotten into a dark hole with life that I can’t find the motivation to get out of. From the outside people say I should be happy - I have a loving partner, a beautiful daughter, a stable job etc but lately I just feel like besides my daughter I have nothing to live for. I’ve stopped doing any social activities because I can’t muster up the energy, I’ve gained 23kgs and hate my body yet can’t stop eating and can’t motivate myself to exercise. I’ve lost all passion for things I used to enjoy and spend my time alone sleeping. Sometimes I think a career change would help as I have no love for my job but I don’t have any energy to try something new. Does anyone feel the same and how do I get out of this rut? Thanks for listening.

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

I hope I can help a little.

I'm 65yo, been overweight all my life (although at 17yo having joined the Air Force I was trim for a short time lol.), have bipolar, depression and have had anxiety. I've been on medication for 12 years.

We cannot diagnose here, we aren't professional medical people.

However, I can relate to your struggles so lets take them one at a time.

• Excess weight: Depressive illnesses of which I advise you to seek an appointment with your GP, can stop you being motivated, cause you to sleep more often and effect your life in a snowball effect. It will adversely effect your weight. Ok, there is some acceptance required on your part, that eg we cant all be slim and wonderfully in proportion. We can however, make food choices better so start by replacing junk foods and snack with healthy stuff, trade crisps with carrot and low fat dips for example.
• A young child: Children can exhaust you. Also seek out a doctors opinion on this for signs of PND
• Hobbies/sports/special interests: Do you have a passion? Think about getting one preferably something you both can share together
• Career change: Boring jobs can bring you down as they are mundane. However a new career can introduce unwanted stress at a time when you need stability while you battle any illness diagnosed.
• "People say I should be happy". No, that isn't fair from mother people. You can have the world but depression doesnt discriminate and it has little to do with sadness, its a illness- vastly different.
• Motivation: When and if you have a depressive episode, motivation should be timed with your mood. If you are not well then motivation wont come along and if you have expectations of it and it doesnt arrive- you will get more depressed.

I hope that helps. As you can see all my answers depend upon diagnosis, the golden rule of illness is just that- get the diagnosis and you'll have a direction to follow. I hope you keep attending here along your journey to recovery.

TonyWK

[Clobug11]

Thanks so much for your reply I really appreciate the advice 🙂

[Jacqui51]

Hi, I too can relate to what you have shared. When depressed it is difficult to socialise and be with others, often especially the closest.

I second the idea of getting some support. A GP is a good place to start. It is possible to get referrals for mental health that support financially if needed by helping pay for appointments.

I too have so much to be happy about but as spoken by others, depression is something that can hit even the happiest and most successful. It really doesn't make sense a lot of the time.

Weight can be a burden both physically and mentally. Please put the loss of weight on hold until you chat to a professional, even if only your doctor. Gaining weight can simply be a bi-product of depression so that needs to be the focus, not the kilos.

If it helps at all my weight jumps up and down in relation to depression at times.

Over many years I have changed my career several times and yes it can be amazing and rewarding but it is also stressful. Sure think about it but small steps work best when dealing with negative emotions.

I hope things get a little better soon.

[Clobug11]

Thank you I really appreciate your response:)