Just wanted to vent smth idk

[Guest_93876777]

I dont remember how it feels like to be truly happy because ive had like an empty feeling with some sort of sadness inside me for a few years now i think. im too scared to ask for any help in person because im a minor and talking to my parents and teachers make me fear rejection. i dont think anyone other than a few of my closer friends know cause no one has realised themselves since im alwasy smiling and trying to be nice. i dont even have a reason to be sad anyways. i go to a good school and have a caring family and nice friends and i get good grades and hobbies like art. but every day i just feel empty and sad and i feel like ill never get out of this. its kind of seasonal because it gets super bad in winter where ive attempted quite a few times and in summer its just kind of always there but not too terrible. im trying to get better because i want to make it to the school camp next year with my friends and i hope one day ill be able to get out of bed easily and do extracurricular activities and be happy again but im too scared of change.

[mmMekitty]

Hello Guest_93876777 & welcome to the forums,

I'm happy to meet you today.

I understand you feel anxious about talking to anyone around you. It seems to me you really could use someone to talk to. What about calling Kids Helpline, or indeed, talking via their webchat? Or maybe you'd like to talk to one of BB's own counsellors, also by phone or webchat. You can find BB's details at the bottom of this page.

I wish you all the best,

Hugzies,

mmMekitty

[trying_my_best]

Hi @Guest_93876777 

Thank you for sharing how you are feeling on here! It is really brave of you! I have actually had my fair share of seasonal numbness as well, sometimes I can be really bad and sometimes it isn’t. But I can assure you with time it does get better! For me it also got better when I built up the courage to talk to someone in my life about it, I can tell you it was very scary at first but after it was done I didn’t regret it!

Wishing you the best 🫶

[Psychdiaries2]

Hi there, 

Welcome to the forums and thanks for reaching out to us. I just wanted to say that it is not your fault to be feeling sad. Sometimes we have great family and friends around us and do well in school yet still feel down and it happens. I think no matter how you feel, it's valid. You don't always need to have a 'reason' to feel sad. I know it gets so exhausting, but know that at least know with spring on its way, you may start to feel a bit better soon. since you mentioned attempting quite a few times, I would definitely encourage you to open up to a close one in your life about this. You mentioned your family being caring, so I'm sure they'll be supportive and allow you to lean on them. I know it sounds scary to improve and feel better and be at a different place, but I promise when it does happen, it'll be worth it. 

Wishing you all the best and hope you start to feel a bit lighter soon. Reach out whenever you need, we're here to listen 🤗

Kind regards,

PsychDiaries

[avecela]

Hey regardless of what you're going through don't ever think that your feelings and emotions aren't valid because you think you don't have a reason to be sad. I am so so proud of you for trying, trying to get better and for stilll keeping up with everything even if you're under a lot of pain and pressure. Sometimes we often find comfort in sadness because we are so used to being sad. But we also need to realise that we can't be sad forever, we can't get stuck in something that's affecting our overall being. Easier said than done however reaching out to fellow loved ones, consellors and trusted friends is one step to getting better. Change can be extremely scary, but so is staying the same. If you stay in that position forever, you won't be able to grow. Trying is all it takes and I'm so proud of you for staying strong.

[therising]

The warmest welcome to you at a time in your life that is challenging you in so many different ways. 

Having faced a number of down or depressing periods in my life over the years, I used to think 'What's wrong with me?' when I was younger. Nowadays I like to think 'If I have the ability to feel something depressing going on, what is it specifically that I'm feeling?'. Sometimes it can be a complete mystery and while I can spend some time looking for clues and trying to work the mystery out on my own, it can eventually get to a point where I think 'Okay, it's time to look for another detective, one who can work it out'. 

It can be hard to know whether to look for someone who's a detective for the body, someone who's a detective for the mind or someone who's a detective when it comes to the nature of life and what's good and not so good for the soul. Sometimes there can actually be a number of different things all going on at once, that can really bring us down. A GP might be able to 1)detect a depressing vitamin or mineral deficiency or other physical/chemical deficiencies, a psychologist or counselor of some nature might 2)detect our depressing ways of thinking or our depressing inner dialogue and someone who understands our nature may 3)detect a depressing degree of 'our lost sense of who we naturally are'. So, we could be dealing with the need for personal growth, while dealing with seriously challenging inner dialogue on top of a challenging chemical deficiency. 

A serious sense of wonder can make a massive difference at times. Instead of stopping at 'I can't help but wonder why it is I'm struggling, why I'm feeling down, why I don't have a lot of energy' etc, next level wonder involves wondering 'Who's going to fast track me to solving the mystery of what it is I'm feeling exactly?'. Can't hurt to start with blood tests (including vitamin D). Seeking support might sound something like 'Mum, I need to know the reason for why I can barely function at the moment, why I feel like I have no energy. Can we go get my iron, B12, vitamin D levels and other stuff checked out?'. Being a mum myself, I know sometimes we need to be really pushed into doing something. You might need to push or nag your mum or dad a bit. Btw, go for the parent who's most likely to take you to the GP. Don't waste time speaking to the parent who won't take you.❤️