Just venting

[Billy318]

Premise

I'm here to vent nothing more. I already lost all hope.

I'm in a bad situation and it's all my fault.

I've always been a fighter, strong, never gave up. Had to fight since I was 15 (37 now).

But I guess life has a funny way of putting you down, it eats at you one piece at a time. And before you know it, the hole is so deep you can't get out.

I've always been depressed, but didn't give too much thought to it. And yes I seeked help: therapists of all kind but nobody could help. Hell, I even became one myself.

What finally got to me was my ex wife. She was the only person I trusted, and for 13 years I did everything to make her happy. Yet, when I was at my lowest point she betrayed my trust and left me for dead. Yes you read it right, I tried to commit suicide and she didn't even care.

The past year as been the worst year of my life and it just got worse. I don't have a job, no human contact and above that I'm even in debt. The only thing that kept me alive is my lovely daughter.

However, since I can't be a good father for her, I don't see the point of being around. She might be better off without me, it looks like her new stepfather can offer her more than I can.

This is my short story. Obviously there's more to it than that, but I wouldn't want to bore you to death.

[Sophie_M]

Dear Billy318.

We’re so grateful to have you reach out to our community this morning and are so sorry to hear everything you have going on at the moment. Times like this can definitely get overwhelming . We hope that you find our forums to be a safe and supportive space to talk through your thoughts and feelings. Our community is here for you. 

We hope you know that there is always help available to you, whether it's from our professional mental health counsellors Beyond Blue (available 24/7/365 on 1300 22 4636) or our friends at Lifeline (13 11 14) or the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467).
Keep checking back in with us whenever you feel up to it. 
 

[blondguy]

Hello Billy318

Welcome and as Sophie_M mentioned we are grateful you have reached out

I understand your feelings as your post reminded me of my own situation when I was 37 with my own daughter. I see a caring dad that has taken the time to care for himself and his daughter

There is no judgement on the forums and its a safe place for us to post. There are many kind people that can be here for you

Paul

[Ggrand]

Hello dear Billy318..

A very warm and caring welcome to our forums..

I am so sorry with everything you have and still are going through..I am sorry your ex wife left you like that...

Billy....You have a beautiful daughter that loves you unconditionally and you love her unconditionally as well....She will always need her dad, regardless of her age, no-one...not even a step dad..can ever take the place of you..her dad...from the father/daughter love that grows deep inside her soul and heart...and visa versa...She need you..to be their for her...Billy, you said you were a fighter.....please, continue to fight for you..your daughter...and better times...Don’t give ever..on you

Depression lies to us..and wants us to believe the worse things possible about us and our lives...I know you’ve had professional care and support before...is it something that you might consider reaching out for again.?...

Thing change Billy..Please try very hard to believe in you..Hang in their Billy...We are all here for you for ..and we hope that we can help you with our support, care and understanding...Talk here anytime you feel up to it..

My kindest and most caring thoughts..Dear Billy..

Grandy..

[quirkywords]

Billy

Sophie, Grandy and Paul

Have replied with supportive suggestions and compassion.

I realise you wanted to vent and I am pleased you have reached out with honesty.

I would like to hear more of your story if you want to tell us.

You are a great dad as you care so much for your daughter.

AS Grandy said depression lies to us.

You are not alone as there are many people reading your post who have been in a similar place to you that seemed to have little hope. There is support here .

Quirky