Just stuck

[Cowboy_Artist]

It's so hard to take the step to ask for help and sometimes it feels extremely embarrassing but I just feel very stuck and like its ground hog day again and again. I have anxiety and depression and can remember it for a young kid the anxiety. a lot of time I live alone as I have my children 12 and 14 every second week and my partner of 18 months is a corporate in Sydney 3 1/2 hrs away and we normally only get to catch up weeks ends and sometimes it can be weeks to we do. I really enjoy when the kids are with as there is a conditional love. We enjoy each others company's as much as you can with teenagers. The hardest thing is I work mostly alone with my business and also at night I make sculptures when inspired and this is my real happy place. The biggest struggle is my over active mind and the roller coaster of emotions I can go on in just one day would make others very surprised I'm sure, I have tried and worked my guts out all my life and been quite successful the last 3 yrs has been tough and I lost the lot with a invention and I took my eye of the ball with my business. No one to blame and at least I tried my guts out having a good go. Since then it's been the depression and anxiety and the stigma of been a failure and was very tough to lose everything and been a small town most knew and after 2 marriage break ups as well one of 20 yrs ( the love died ) and the second of only 2 yrs it's been tough. I've always manage to be there for everyone and been the peace maker for a dysfunctional family , as my dads a alcoholic who tried to take his live 3 yrs ago at the age of 72 and my mum still lives with the man who sexually abused me and my brother as a child which is pretty hard to cop. I have made my peace with my mum and it will never be great but I have put it behind me, it's hard with my dad as we get on great but when my phone rings after 6pm I'm always dreading what's happened again. Besides all that it doesn't play on my mind that much as I've done my share of time with the shrinks and it's help a heap. My big thing is I'm slowly isolated myself as I get so disappointed in many peolpe with there actions towards others as it's such a dog eat dog world, but then I wonder is it just me and I do think I'm maybe I'm the one who doesn't fit in, when I do go out everyone loves seeing me,I'm well respected and honest as the day is long but I feel like robin williams as they see the different person to what's on the inside, I don't know I just feel real stuck

[Kathryne]

Hi there

Sorry to read of your current feeling of being stuck.

There are many different issues in your post.

Try taking things one step at a time.

It's the nature of the beast to see the worst in ourselves whereas others see something totally different.

Stay true to yourself, remain honest and open to the limit you set.

Regards Kathryne