its taken my life away from me

[Stormgrl101]

Hi.. i have BPD/depression/anxiety.

I was in hospital for a few weeks before christmas and I went through ECT treatment. Now I am at home, at my parents house with them looking after me, and tonight im just feeling lost. Looking on facebook I see people getting married, having babies, finishing uni degree, getting a new job etc and I feel sooo hopeless and empty. I am ANGRY that mental illness took my life away from me and I feel like everyone around me is growing up and getting on with their lives and I'm just this sad, scared little girl and I don't understand why I'm different.
As part of the BPD i suffer dissociation episodes which tend to happen at every appointment I go to whether its gp, psychologist, support worker, or centrelink. These episodes vary in which sometimes I can snap out of it or other times its too severe and ambulance needs to be called. I wish I could function "normally" I am tired of living like this. 😞
I dont know why Im posting tonight, I guess I'm wondering if anyone has any suggestions for me.

[JRFOXIE]

Hi there,

I too have BPD/Depression and anxiety. I only dissociate for minutes at a time so it isn't being treated. There are programs for dissociation. There is one at a private hospital in my state that is good. You're having a tough time for sure. I would suggest suspending your Facebook account. People tend to put up a happy front there but they are not as happy as they make out. It will only bring you down further.

I had a successful career as a health professional which has been halted repeatedly by mental illness for years at a time. It's been four years since I worked. I too feel angry that my life has been torn apart by mental illness over and over. I want you to know I feel your pain. But the best revenge we can have is to learn how to manage our illness. It takes time and a lot of effort. Have you tried ACT or DBT? Sometimes they're more helpful than CBT.

[geoff]

hello Stormgrl, mental illness is that strong it will have the strength to take away your life, not only once but can several times of your life.

I don't have BPD but have had depression, anxiety, OCD and social anxiety, some which cling to me and some that come and go, but it has destroyed my ability to do what I used to love to do, something that I would never think possible.

My condition isn't as severe as yours, so it must be very difficult for you to manage on a daily basis not knowing but it's good to know what you can do when this happens, that's the beginning to open the door to get well again. Geoff.