It's always there

[mwm03]

Is there no way to rid of depression permanently? It always seems to be there and every time it surfaces, it seems to up the ante.

Like from an outsiders perspective everything seems positive and almost upward trend, I've finally bought a house - promoted at work. But I fail to see the good in these actions, as if it's not good enough and it just brings me into a depressive state. What's worse is that I've been treated for depression a few years ago and I can feel myself slowly getting back into the same state - but allowing myself to travel into the space, even though I know it will essentially cause me pain. Even then I had an outlet for the pain and anger by playing rugby.

I just feel like no matter the perceived "positives" it will always be there under the surface second guessing all my decisions and making me feel like sh*t.

[Gambit87]

Hey mwm03,

Welcome to the forums.

It takes courage to reach out! good on ya. Depression is a nasty nasty beast.

I don't think depression is one of those things that can be 'cured', I think we learn ways to cope and manage it. Like you say - We can get treated, have a good run in life and feel great and then out of no where, the black dog bites you.

Do you have anyone you can talk to about how youre feeling? have you thought about talking to a psychologist?

Youre not alone here.