Isolation and unemployed

[Guest_07360721]

"I have been unemployed for just a week, but I have already had suicidal thoughts for the last couple of days. I am an immigrant who has studied and worked in Australia for four years. I am a very good student and worker, but somehow I ended up in this situation. It is hard to accept, and it has lowered my self-esteem and confidence.

I left my first job because I needed to find work in Adelaide instead of Sydney for my visa. Then, my second job contract ended. They offered me a three-month extension, but they phrased it like they were doing me a favor while I looked for a new job. HR didn't even ask how I felt, what I wanted to do next, or what I had been contributing. I did so much for them and was very dedicated, but they didn't care. It hurt my feelings and made me feel undervalued, even though I know I am good at what I do.

Next, I tried to contact my first boss for a reference, but he didn't reply. I saw him as a friend, though we had some conflicts when I left. I don't care about the reference anymore, but as a friend, I just wanted a response. Then, my Facebook account was suspended by Meta for no reason. I felt completely isolated and couldn't talk to anyone.

I have been staying in my room all day. I only feel a bit better when I go out for a walk, but I don't want to see anyone. I can't bring myself to look for jobs because I don't want to face new colleagues. I still remember my last day at work; they knew I was leaving, but they still asked me to do tasks and then acted surprised that it was my last day. I couldn't believe how fake they were.

My parents passed away six years ago. I moved abroad to fulfill my dream. I graduated and kept myself busy with multiple jobs while studying another course. Now that I have nothing to do, I am starting to feel depressed. I feel a loss of purpose that is hard to bear. I feel like if I stay in my room any longer, I will end my life.

Do you know where I can sit in peace with internet to work and with people around? Not public library i dont want to see anyone i know there

[Sophie_M]

Warmest of welcomes to you, Guest_07360721

We first want to acknowledge the strength it would have taken to share your story here, it wouldn't have been easy but you did it anyway - thank you for your courage.

It sounds like you know how valuable you are and how important it is to make the right connections - people that are aligned with your values can help alleviate that sense of loneliness.

This pass week may have felt challenging with being unemployed but better days will come. Encouraging you to continue to keep taking these brave steps forward and focus on things within your control, which is what you are already doing by reaching out here.

We wonder if there is a café you can go to that people you know less frequent?

We also wanted to you to know that though these thoughts of suicide may feel more intense when you are not surrounded by people; there are steps you can take to ensure you stay safe:

Lifeline offer crisis support, available 24/7 on 13 11 14, or online: https://www.lifeline.org.au/  

If you’d prefer to reach out to us, we’re on 1300 22 4636, or you can use our webchat here: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/  

If there’s ever an immediate risk of harm, the number to call is 000 (triple zero).

We have also emailed you a Safety Plan if you feel that would help. 

We are thankful for your bravery in sharing with our wonderful and supportive online community. Please know that you are not alone, and that people are out there that may not know you but care about what happens to you. You are a person deserving of all the support you need.

With Warmth,

Sophie M