Depression

What it feels like to go insane

replies: 19

Been away a while and I dont know where I been. But my life views have changed dramatically. Depression sufferers are amongst the toughest breeds mankind has ever seen. The sheer weight we carry and still survive somehow is remarkable. Its sad we hav... View more

Been away a while and I dont know where I been. But my life views have changed dramatically. Depression sufferers are amongst the toughest breeds mankind has ever seen. The sheer weight we carry and still survive somehow is remarkable. Its sad we have no strength to communicate this but I am bound with my brothers and sisters for life as we struggle for survival together. Yes I have seen death felt it lived it but I see the beauty in my brothers and sisters and if I could I would protect you all. Yes my tone has changed as I have relived my hippie days during treatment. A long lost part of me that has been buried for decades. A hidden aggressive non violent protest for change that I was lost in 40 years ago at the beat if Bob Dylan Neil young at the time of Laurel Canyon and Woodstock. But I had to die first to get there and lose my mind on the way which was frightening to my core. They tried to silence the hippie for what reason. They exercised brotherly love and care for mother earth and natural lifestyles. Their non conformity towards the way things were going in the 60 70s was about LOVE and PEACE. And you stamped him out. Why? Why would you do that. Manson was never a hippie so dont blame hippies. So I live in this world eons away from the beauty I was once involved in. Not being able to tell you here where I go twice a week at hospital is a crime and yes I am anti establishment but not wrecklessly indifferent to things that make society run. My treatment is out there and I cant tell you. Thats crazy to the enlightened person because people need information but instead are bombarded by misinformation lies scams gag orders and integrity has become almost a mythical idea from a long lost time. And all this does matter. Its our health we fight daily for and it doesnt come cheap and without effort. Respect to all my brothers and sisters and let your freak flag fly and above all peace in our suffering

Prep Teacher Overload

replies: 2

I have been a teacher for 19 years and this is the worst year of my career so far. I’ve got 3 students in my Prep class that constantly reek havoc and I’mnot receiving enough support to manage them. Each day they are taking my things, engaging in dan... View more

I have been a teacher for 19 years and this is the worst year of my career so far. I’ve got 3 students in my Prep class that constantly reek havoc and I’mnot receiving enough support to manage them. Each day they are taking my things, engaging in dangerous play (jumping off tables, running around the classroom) hitting me or other people, screaming and swearing and I’m in a constant stress state. I feel so down about it all. This evening I snapped at my own son because of the emotional fatigue. I quit drinking 2 years ago and will not return to it, I exercise most days, I eat salads and fruit smoothies everyday, I get my 8 hrs of sleep and meditate everyday. I’m trying so hard to protect my mental health but am constantly miserable. I don’t see quitting as an option but not sure how I’m going to sustain this for a year.

I'm sick of my Depression

replies: 5

my depression has been recently active and I'm finding it hard to get myself motivated. I'm on medication and I am taking my medication every day , I'm under a lot of stress and my husband has depression and anxiety to. I'm just struggling to cope at... View more

my depression has been recently active and I'm finding it hard to get myself motivated. I'm on medication and I am taking my medication every day , I'm under a lot of stress and my husband has depression and anxiety to. I'm just struggling to cope at the moment

Does anyone else experience the "Functional Freeze"?

replies: 4

Hi everyone,I’ve been reading through the posts here, and it helps to know I’m not the only one feeling this way. I wanted to see if anyone else relates to a specific feeling I’ve been having lately.I call it the "functional freeze."On the outside, I... View more

Hi everyone,I’ve been reading through the posts here, and it helps to know I’m not the only one feeling this way. I wanted to see if anyone else relates to a specific feeling I’ve been having lately.I call it the "functional freeze."On the outside, I look like I’m coping. I manage to get up, go to work, and maybe even reply to a few texts. But internally, I feel completely paralyzed. The moment I don't have to do something, I just freeze.I’ll sit on the couch and stare at the wall for an hour, or I'll know I need to make dinner or have a shower, but the physical effort required just feels like trying to run underwater. I’m exhausted, but I haven't actually done anything. It’s so frustrating because people around me think I’m doing fine, but they don't see the massive amount of energy it takes just to appear normal.Does anyone else get stuck in this freeze state? If you do, how do you usually break out of it, or do you just have to wait for it to pass?I’m really struggling to push through it this week. Any advice or just knowing others get it would be really comforting.Thanks for listening.

big feelings feeling big!

replies: 6

Hi BBers, Tonight I am feeling lots of big feelings. I have changed medication recently, so that is probably why. But also, stuff happening in my relationships, family, work life and friendships. I am not great at actually feeling my feelings, or exp... View more

Hi BBers, Tonight I am feeling lots of big feelings. I have changed medication recently, so that is probably why. But also, stuff happening in my relationships, family, work life and friendships. I am not great at actually feeling my feelings, or expressing them. It scares me. My brain starts telling me I am stupid. It is like I don't trust myself. Looking for advice and reassurance?

Parenting young children with depression

replies: 2

Hi everyone,I have had depression since my teens, I’m close to 40 now. I have two small children now and I’m finding that these years are some of the hardest I’ve experienced. They’re not babies (4 & 7) so they’re not oblivious to my ups and downs an... View more

Hi everyone,I have had depression since my teens, I’m close to 40 now. I have two small children now and I’m finding that these years are some of the hardest I’ve experienced. They’re not babies (4 & 7) so they’re not oblivious to my ups and downs anymore. But they’re not old enough to understand that mummy sometimes struggles.The self care that worked before kids, or self cocooning through the worst days just doesn’t fly when you have kids constantly going “mum mum mum”.I would love a practical “dummy’s guide to parenting when you have depression”. Or a resource that I could use. I find it hard to manage my own mental health and be a good parent.

Parents don't care that I have scoliosis/possible thyroid problem

replies: 2

I definitely have scoliosis and people from school often talk about it. I can't even walk or stand properly. My posture is messed up. I do at least an hour of walking most days, so I do exercise (though I don't do many other exercises other than a bi... View more

I definitely have scoliosis and people from school often talk about it. I can't even walk or stand properly. My posture is messed up. I do at least an hour of walking most days, so I do exercise (though I don't do many other exercises other than a bit of tennis and sometimes swimming. I try to do a bit of running, but I feel self-conscious when I do so). I told my Dad and he said that it probably doesn't matter unless it hurts and I said that my back occasionally hurts a bit and it can get worse if it doesn't get fixed and he said, "But where can we go about it?" I said we could go to a (can't remember what they are called right now). He replied, "Would that help though?" I said it's better than not doing anything and he just said "Hmm" and walked off. (He does this a lot). I told my Mum about it and she said, "But if we went to one of those places, wouldn't they just tell you to stand better?" I said that I didn't know because we never tried going to one of those places and then she walked off. (They're both very dismissive). I went to a massage place because I had problems with my back and the lady said to my Mum that it's a pity that I never went to a *scoliosis place* when I was younger. Even my older sister said to my parents that she was quite annoyed with them for never taking me to one of those places. She even told me that if our parents didn't pay for me to see them, that she'd be happy to pay for it. I may not get along with her often, but she's very generous! So is my younger sister. I recently found out that I probably have a thyroid problem because I have so many health problems that can be related to it (walking funny, voice problems, skin problems, digestive problems, cracks on heels of feet, etc.) Google even says that psychosis can be related (I have paranoid schizophrenia and I never want to have an episode again because they are the worst thing that's ever happened to me). I don't know how to get help for this either though because my parents don't take it seriously. My doctor thinks I don't because of my blood test result, but blood tests aren't always accurate for thyroid problems. My hormones also sound really out of wack based on what it said, but my doctors said they were fine. I'm not a doctor, but it was something like 98 - T and 1.10 - E?? Even if I was ovulating, that doesn't sound right to me?

Not sure what to do.

replies: 2

Hey,I’m a teenager in high school and I’m not really sure what to do. I’ve been feeling off recently. Kinda sad and depressed. I’ve never been officially diagnosed but I’m fairly sure I have some kind of depression. I want to get help from someone an... View more

Hey,I’m a teenager in high school and I’m not really sure what to do. I’ve been feeling off recently. Kinda sad and depressed. I’ve never been officially diagnosed but I’m fairly sure I have some kind of depression. I want to get help from someone and I don’t really have that kind of relationship with anybody since I’m a bit closed off from others and not that sociable. I’m just not really sure what to do. I have my life planned out the way I want to continue it and I know I have potential, but I’m lacking motivation in anything recently. I will be honest and I have thought of self-harm a lot more times than one but I don’t really want to do it. I just want to find a way to continue my life without going through a constant loop because I feel like it’s just getting worse.. I’m posting this because I feel like it might make help me expressing how I really feel somewhere. Any tips for how I can ask for help?

Painfully lonely, but all of my desperate attempts at connection are met with silence

replies: 4

I've never posted on here before - sorry if this is too long. I'm lonely. I live on a very isolated property with my partner. We moved here 6+ hours away from anyone we knew a few years ago. The small community around us are quite a lot older than me... View more

I've never posted on here before - sorry if this is too long. I'm lonely. I live on a very isolated property with my partner. We moved here 6+ hours away from anyone we knew a few years ago. The small community around us are quite a lot older than me (40-50 years older) or very young with children. I don't have children and have found that my friendships with these people fizzle out or there is less time for me in their lives because they involve themselves with other parents etc. which makes total sense. My partner works out of the house for 12+ hours a day. I am alone all day and rarely see friends and family in person. I was able to socialise with a small group of people at work but I lost my job and those people ("friends") never contacted me again. I've been working very hard on making myself available and communicating strongly though social media etc. to be able to keep connections alive with people in my life - however, I'm finding that everyone (including my partner) are too busy to reply to me. My family is narcissistic and will only speak to me to complain about their lives, I've tried to foster a meaningful connection but they have their own problems. My partner is busy at work and I often won't hear from them all day until 5/6pm. My texts or an interesting video that I'll send go unanswered even though I can see they're active. My friends all have other friends that are physically part of their daily lives so it makes sense that I'm the last one they get back to but all the same, I'm very very very lonely. All I've ever wanted was connection after a childhood of neglect. A lot of advice says to look into myself and be better friends with myself, find hobbies etc but I've done that - it's all I do - what I'm craving is connection with other people and it can't be filled with a substitute hobby. I feel so tired and heavy all the time and just thinking about how lonely I am and how I can't seem to be able to fix it puts a weight on my chest.Has anyone been in this situation and found a solution?

life still sucks

replies: 2

hey, i am really struggling right now, it's so hard to explain to make it understandable. i guess the hardest things just keep happening to me. like first, i had to make the hardest decision of putting down my baby boy (cat) almost 2 years ago. one o... View more

hey, i am really struggling right now, it's so hard to explain to make it understandable. i guess the hardest things just keep happening to me. like first, i had to make the hardest decision of putting down my baby boy (cat) almost 2 years ago. one of the hardest things ever. basically, since then, my mental health got worse and worse. my dad was involved in a car accident several months after, and nearly lost him. he's alive and doing well now, but stuff really went down for my family since that day. about a few weeks after he arrived back home (so roughly under a month after his accident) we had to put his cat down, after a sudden heart failure accrued. a few months later, his dog died. we knew she wasn't well and the hardest thing was, we couldn't support that. then i was having a hard time with my boyfriend, as he was manipulative, controlling, and just so many other things that made it harder. he was my first relationship (primary school personally, doesn't count) he would try change me to become what his needs were like... 1. becoming christian 2. change my personality and there's so much around this i don't need to get into. but we hate him, we hate the whole situation! anyway, let's just move onto the present. my mum's dog has be diagnosed with a disease, and we have to make a decision. my ex and i have been in another situationship. ive been distant from my best friend because.. 1. my mental health is really bad 2. shes not the same 3. im js starting to see her differently (don't know how/why) im overwhelmed with school. im overwhelmed with dance. im struggling to feel put. i dont have a job. i dont have money. i dont have a licence. i dont have a clear head. i dont stick to any routine. but i really need one. im so lost. im so tired. i want it to end. but ive lost so much hope. (im so sorry for the huge as yap)

Pinned discussions

Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started

replies: 0

How do I talk to my doctor?

replies: 9

SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION

replies: 132

All discussions