Is what I’m feeling real?

[imokayipromise]

I often don’t feel like my feelings and thoughts need worrying about, as I’m just a stupid kid who doesn’t really know what I’m doing. But a few of my friends who I have opened up to have mixed opinions. I’m only 15 (yes I lied about my age to make this account) but I can’t sleep and I just feel like there is no point, if I am never going to amount to anything why bother you know? Basically is the feeling that what I feel is wrong normal for other people too? Or is the guilt of the fact I might be faking it even to myself just stupid. Idk what I’m saying it’s 5am for me as I type this.
And there is loads of other stuff too but that’s just basic things.

[geoff]

Hello imokayipromise, before I start, a person who is aged as you have stated is going through a great deal in life, contemplating on so much and working on what's best for you in the long run, but this is certainly is not easy.

Other people who aren't suffering can decide what they want to do, pushing any negative thoughts aside and not being affected by them, then they can focus on the positive thoughts and move forward, however those who can't even budge those negative thoughts then focus on the bad aspects in life, which tends to always build up with other all their other issues.

You can really only fake this when you are with your family/friends, but to yourself it isn't possible, simply because these negative thoughts can dominate your life.

I'd like to know what else you are thinking about.

Geoff.

Life Member.

[sbella02]

Hello Imokayipromise,

Thank you for reaching out. 

Regardless of your age, your feelings are valid. And yes, your feelings are normal for somebody of your age. I believe I was around your age when my own string of negative thoughts and feelings started recurring, and I didn't quite know how to deal with them. I was also too proud to see a therapist, but my views have mellowed in recent years.

School counsellors can be great to talk to, even if you're simply unloading some of the struggles you may be having. It's therapeutic to talk to people. Even journalling can be very helpful, and there are many ways to go about journalling. You can write about something that's happened in your day. You can recount a negative event from your past. You may like to express gratitude, or write a positive entry to make yourself feel better about something negative. That's the fun of journalling, it's up to you.

Headspace is a fantastic resource for young people struggling with their mental health, too.

Is there anything else that you maybe wanted to share? No pressure, you can self-disclose at your discretion.

We're here to offer our words of support.

SB

[therising]

Hi imokayipromise

As a mum who was 15 at one point and with a daughter who's 20 and a son who's 17, all 3 of us would say 15 is one of the toughest times for a lot of reasons which aren't necessarily all that obvious. It's a time in life that marks the beginning of a highly significant quest which typically holds a lot of questions. At around 15, the questions can sometimes sound like

• 'Who am I?', which can = 'I don't know who I am'
• 'Where am I going?', which can = 'I feel so completely lost'
• 'Why do I feel the way I do?' can come from a lot of new and unfamiliar really telling feelings
• 'Why do I feel so down?' can = 'Why can't I be happy?' and
• 'What's wrong with me?' can = 'Why am I struggling so much?'

To make greater sense of the quest and the questions, it pays to look at the lead up. Up to the age of 15, life can appear pretty straight forward for those who haven't suffered in some significant way. You're directed when it comes to what to believe in, how to speak, how to dress, what schools to go to, what activities you can and can't do, what's acceptable, what's not etc. As long as you follow the guidelines/rules, everything's paid for and most of life's directions/instructions are given to you. Then 15 comes along and it suddenly starts to become more about choice, making significant decisions, gaining a sense of individual identity (knowing who you truly are and where you fit in), picking direction etc. As you go from follower (of direction/instruction) to pioneer in your own life, the question can be 'As you set off on your quest to become you, what tools/skills do you have in your backpack and what form of guidance are you going to rely on?'. Btw, you'll gather tools and skills as you go along.

Don't trust anyone or anything that leads you to believe you're a stupid kid. You're a pioneer and so much more. Also, don't let anyone lead you to believe guidance in life should stop at a certain point once you hit a certain age. As long as we're moving through life, good guidance remains a trusted form of direction.

[jules6568]

Dude, I totally get you.

no one seems to listen to kids our age, I’ve gone to multiple therapists and they’ve all told me im just having a low mood. I know something is up because I’ve never felt this way before. And it’s no coincidence that depression can appear in adolescence.

[imokayipromise]

Edit(I hope idk how this works): thanks for the support guys.

[imokayipromise]

Oh and sorry for no reply’s been busy

[imokayipromise]

I’m not to proud to get professional help myself I just don’t trust therapists and due to my terrible handwriting journaling just doesn’t really help.

[imokayipromise]

And if this edit works I will add some little things that may be useful to know.

I (15 male) am not attending  school and have not since the start of 2022.

My family, which consists of my 50 year old mother, 21 year old sister, 19 year old sister and 13 year old brother. Either does not care, notice or can’t help me. (Father is not in my immediate life and I prefer not to talk to him as he was/is abusive, extremely homophobic and “can do no wrong”.)

I have only 2 friends who know how I feel (was 3, one stopped talking to me.) and one appears not to believe me and the other is struggling themselves. (much more stable than me.)

I do not like therapy as I don’t trust adults.

my life is rather unstable as from my father and other smaller things, and as we are currently moving with nowhere official to go (staying at grandmas until we find somewhere.)

I also won’t talk to my parents about this as my mother is very busy and my dad is as I said before, also as I said just don’t trust adults.

that should be all but I might add more later.

[imokayipromise]

Oh yeah my name is Kurtis, don’t need to call me by my very on the nose username.