Hi Alfio
So sorry to hear you are suffering so much in so many ways.
I believe a withdrawal period is also a contemplation period. It's where we give our self the time to reflect on where things went wrong and where we can begin to put pieces of a much needed to be solved puzzle together. When that contemplation period becomes solely about our perceived failures and our sense of hopelessness, it definitely becomes a period of terrible torture.
I'm wondering whether being a family business all the family have come together constructively as opposed to destructively (initially). Constructively means brainstorming plans for the way forward no matter how bad things get. Destructively may mean coming together to talk about the sufferance, hopelessness and fear. If your family have gotten together at some point, with a more destructive perspective, would this be one of the things that has brought you down?
Among stress, the toughest challenge of all involves focusing on the objectives in the given moment. If the job front is not looking good at all and generating income is the current objective, have you looked into multiple ways to generate income (government assistance, speaking with your gf about being a bit of a financial crutch whilst things are somewhat 'broken' at the moment and so on). Looking into support with outgoing expenses may mean having to speak to folk from various institutions about putting a halt of bills. If you need someone sitting beside you while you're making all these calls, that becomes part of your management plan (manage through support).
If you gf is one person you believe you can rely on, would you consider a new project involving her? The project of raising another person (to a sense of life) can sometimes be not only a welcome distraction here and there from certain stressors but such a thing can also remind us of how capable and giving we actually are. Whether raising her to a smile or to excitement, your focus becomes about exploring momentary feelings of joy or excitement.
Keeping an eye on the ways in which dis-ease can lead to disease is extremely important. Lack of food, hydration and so on can end up causing our body a lot of upset. Is it possible to get out of bed with the goal of preparing a meal for your girlfriend (nothing big)? A couple of candles thrown into the mix could give her great joy (your gift to her) and some food for yourself. I do not doubt that such a simple thing will be a great challenge at the moment.
