Introduction; Hi I am J I have bipolar and I would love to make some friends

[insertaname]

Hi my name is "J" as a pseudonym and I am a 26 year old female. I have had the mood disorder bipolar disorder since 2011. So far I have had 4 different types of episodes - so it makes my life and my carer's life a little more challenging to identify symptoms of bipolar. I rarely tell people I have bipolar - the stigma is still there, even though the psychiatrist says I'm an elevated person - I'm rather depressed and pessimistic. People treat me differently when I say bipolar yet if I said depression or anxiety it appears to be an accepted thing.

I've gone through a lot in 2018 for my 2nd last episode - ask If you want to - and to this day it still affects m - I think during that period of my time I literally became a broken person. It was one problem after the other.

I am being currently cared for but sometimes I get upset when he offhand says something like "taking you the hospital would've been easier" duding a tiff... I cried a bit he was the one who adamant about me not getting placed into the hospital.

I'd like to get to know more people who are like minded:

• I have a dog
• Does occasionally garden
• Likes knitting
• Positive mind set
• Creativity
• I have a few aquariums
• I am a closet otaku I like reading anime, manhwa, manhua - because I've quit smoking for almost a year now
• I am not sure if I am asking for too much but I am open minded
• I rarely drink its about like 5 days of the year if you want a number haha

[smallwolf]

Hi J,

welcome to beyond blue.

There are the few people here with biplor, and have a thread here...

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/staying-well/this-bipolar-life 

where you can chat with like-minded (?) people. I am unsure whether being treated differently is a good thing or bad thing - some people I have told about depression and anxiety (recently) have you look so good, you should not have that, or are you still seeing a psychologist?!? I am confident that you will find people here to talk to about a variety of things, and then there is always the cafe for other chatter, and evryone here is non-judgemental and supportive.

Tim

[Zonnekp]

Hi J,

I am a 49-year old female with bipolar and would love a friend who understands the illness. I tell close friends I have depression, because bipolar still has a stigma.

I am married with one daughter (who turns 25 this year), love my dog and enjoy cooking, reading and playing the piano. I also enjoy shopping (love it! lol) and going for walks.

[quirkywords]

Hi J and zonnekp

Welcome.

I am sad that you both are still experience stigma.

I was diagnosed over 45 years with bipolar and while there was much stigma back in the 1970s and 1980s , I was hoping things had changed as they have for me.

Zonnekp J, How do you people feel treat you differently if they find out you have bipolar.

I have found through giving talks to community groups has helped people become more informed.

Tim has mentioned the thread This bipolar life and you are most welcome there. It is a friendly group.

In your list J, I can do basic knitting, I am sort of creative, I like growing and eating herbs. Mainly I am interested in other people and learning from their experience. I also like my shop .

So zonnekp and J pleased to meet you

Quirky

[insertaname]

Hi smallwolf. I am literally medicated on a concoction of medication.

I should correct that it was my third episode in 2018 was tough - trying to stay rational while a lot of stressful events unfolded in front of my eyes. I did check out that forum earlier but it had age restrictions and I am a bit of a loner. In am under treatment by a psychiatrist and case manager.

Thank you for your reply I am having short memory issues haha.

[insertaname]

Hi Zonnekp

Sure, I would not mind having a friend who has bipolar. Lol here comes the train of questions hehe. Are your symptoms when you have bipolar episodes obvious? I have had two while on meds and completely clueless that I was having episodes.

You are quite fortunate to have close friends to rely on, Currently my support network is my psychiatrist, my parter, case manager, accessibility person from Uni. So I do feel rather lonely at times. This is the second time I have had to pull out of third year of my degree,

I vowed that I would not have children. I have also had a painful childhood. Where my my own mother said horrible things like *when you were a baby I wanted to throw you out the window because you wouldn’t stop crying* another one is * you are exactly like your dad, nobody will like you and there are no such as friends*. As you can see I carry a lot of baggage.

I love my dog too he is a very clever and independent dog. Training him was soooooo hard (he was not food driven... he knows about 100 or so commands and even hand signals. I cannot imagine a life with out him. I even trained my dog to ring the bell to go toilet or outside... since he just taps door knobs hehe.

I like to shop but maybe not the typical way - been recently obsessed with novelty cooking timers, cleaning (I am a messy person) and Pioneer headphones. What do you enjoy buying but it reminds me of my first episode going on a shopping spree.

I am a bit of a homebody but when I am elevated I become confident... this bipolar of mine really is odd

For the last two episodes I played with this website https://www.16personalities.com/ I was quite shocked at how much one person change during an episode. It is up to you but I am a Logician this year.

Thank you for taking the time to talk to me, I would love to hear more about you.

J

[insertaname]

hi quirkyword

How are you?

There are always going to be stigmas including black dog syndrome that my doggie experiences, yet he is pretty gentle for a male dog.

I have a large lot of ways people treating me differently:

1. They say ‘how’s life treating ya’ I hate that question just say hi, how are you?
2. when people try to *help* I just wanted to talk to Counsellor that I had bipolar and all I wanted to just talk about it - she bombarded me with extension plans and getting a scribe for exams (uni).
3. i had dr. who i first me said I wouldn’t be able to finish my degree or last a year in the teaching field - she was a dr specialised in mental health and I was explicitly told she couldn’t change my meds because I was still part the community psychiatrist team. She was trying to prescribe psychotics... she even told me to become a librarian instead.
4. people treat you differently, they avoid you.
5. people do that finger motion of a roller coaster. It pisses me off because my roller coaster is ongoing ride that I would really love to stop
6. they consider me *special* but I want to be treated like everyone else
7. Since mid 2013 entry uni I haven’t had an episode until 2018.
8. i am a bit of antisocial person, it takes a bit for me to warm up. But whatever works for you is great!
9. i have to the point where I begged passing doctors and nurses to take my blood. I had a registrar that was anal and he even over medicated me because he though I wasn’t taking,,, that he even arranged a nurse to check my mouth.

I like knitting especially cables - but right no my brains right now - some days motivation and concentration. I am also a creative person I like to believe: that in life, there are more than one way of finding a solution.

which kind of herbs... I like chives and garlic chives if they are herbs.

I look forward getting to know you,

J

[quirkywords]

J,

Thanks for all your feedback .

I am sorry for your experiences .

When I was experiencing my mood swings I was having them every 6 to 8 weeks alternating between high and low and it was very disruptive. During this time I managed to scrape through with a degree, I started off doing a teacher librarian degree and ended up after 6 years of many withdrawals and time out with an arts degree. I was seen as either lazy or rude but never sick but then again I was in denial too.

It must have been hard for you to have an episode after 5 years.

Do you like reading and watching movies. ?

Quirky

[insertaname]

Hey quirkyqpword,

I have had a roller coaster of experiences that continue. Don’t apologise you were never the cause of it. I don’t know if I have mood swings but during the day I’m placid and irritable at afternoons/evenings.

i cant imagine how you would feel. But I always feel elevated at uni at odd times. Reading my episodes are hard. I have had two hypo manic episodes where I didn’t know I was having an episode- this time it was migraines and being snarky... not really bipolarish symptoms are they?

i hate to read... unless it’s something I really like. Uni stuff is all I usually read... I think uni is overrated.

i used to watch movies but I think uni wrecked it for me as well as counselling. Why are these movies illogical... why do we see these female or male characters as typical... why is the quality of movies losing originality and flair.

The last movies I loved was the Asian girl with her love letters and crazy rich asians.

J

P.S what books and movies do you like?

Thanks for all your feedback .
I am sorry for your experiences .
When I was experiencing my mood swings I was having them every 6 to 8 weeks alternating between high and low and it was very disruptive. During this time I managed to scrape through with a degree, I started off doing a teacher librarian degree and ended up after 6 years of many withdrawals and time out with an arts degree. I was seen as either lazy or rude but never sick but then again I was in denial too.
It must have been hard for you to have an episode after 5 years.
Do you like reading and watching movies. ?
Quirky

[insertaname]

Hey Quirky

do not apologise none of this is your fault. Besides I have had a fair few experiences that were worse.

i do not enjoy reading, I used to. But I read for uni now. I am sorry for your experiences- I don’t know how I would deal with it. But I call my days either the moon or the sun... depending on mood. I don’t watch movies no time and the quality of films is getting worse.

how about you what books or movies do you like?

during the day I’m outgoing but when it hits 4pm I get aggravated and irritable.

today I while getting a blood test. I am on the sad side of things today

i have a bad memory right now sorry if I left anything out.

J