In a rut and can't get out

[Gaz84]

I'm new to this, I've spent this last 12-24months in a downward turn, I have everything in life that I should need to be happy, a beautiful supportive wife, 2 kids that are my world,I got married this year and I'm about to move to a new house,

I should be feeling great, but I'm not,

I feel like I've nothing to look forward to, my wife finds me difficult to deal with and distant, and when needed to do something can become quite snappy

Over the past couple years my sleeping habits have decreased to approx 5 hours sleep a night,

i eat quite allot as well I would say this year alone I have gained 20kgs and close to 30 kgs in the last 2 years

I have also lost all motivation and drive in all aspects of my life, I don't do any physical activity at all, at my job I used to be quite motivated I find myself taking 2-3 times longer to do things that used to take me half a day, most days I don't even want to go in to work,

[Zeal]

Hi Gaz,

Welcome to the forum, and sorry for the delayed reply!

I'm glad you've come here for help, and I'm happy to read that you have a loving wife and two great kids.
You have identified that your wellbeing is compromised. It sounds as though you have developed depression. To get support for this, definitely make an appointment with your doctor (GP). They can guide you, and may refer you to someone else for more personalised help. This lack of sleep would be compounding your decreased emotional wellbeing, unfortunately. Mention your sleep problems to your doctor as well.

It would be great for your wife to read the info from these links: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/supporting-someone/supporting-someone-with-depression-or-anxiety and https://www.beyondblue.org.au/supporting-someone/looking-after-yourself This info is fairly general in nature, so it doesn't matter that you haven't received a diagnosis.

In addition to seeing your doctor, you can ring the Beyondblue 24/7 helpline for support on 1300 22 4636.

It would be great to hear back from you!

Best wishes,

Zeal

[Gaz84]

Thanks Zeal

i seen my local GP today and he has referred me to get some Psycotherapy conciling sessions

i just need to find someone the local psychologist at my gp is fully booked to January

would you know of anyone in the northern suburbs of Melbourne who I could get in touch with

[Zeal]

Hi Gaz,

Thanks for your post. I am glad you have already seen your GP - that's great! I don't live in that area, so unfortunately I can't recommend anyone. The APS website has a 'Find a psychologist' search engine though. It's at this link: https://www.psychology.org.au/FindaPsychologist/

I hope you can find someone soon!

Best wishes,

Zeal

[dee_1]

Hi Gaz 🙂

Without adding to the "you need therapy and depression pills" suggestion, I think it's quite normal for you to feel this was as we all tend to hit a stage in our lives where we don't feel fullfilled.

Just because people are married and have kids and a job it doesn't mean on the outside, there is something more you would like.

Unfortunately, with some of us like your wife, who do witness their partners going on a downward spiral, it is harder for them to accept that something is missing or not quite right in your life - so hopefully, she has been supportive with how you feel and helpful and not just distant because it wouldn't help you one bit.

Is there something you are missing like a pet or are you missing your parents or is there something you would like, like freedom to do what you wish without it impacting your family or travelling? Do you have any wishes or desires outside your family life that you wish to accomplish?

Also, do you talk to your wife about your feelings or do you lash out at her sometimes? Sometimes, when we don't communicate well, we tend to push people away.

Hope you feel better soon 🙂