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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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Sujema Unable to take medication, looking to alcohol for relief.
  • replies: 4

For many years, pre medication, I turned to alcohol to 'numb' the pain of depression and PTSD. After a period in a treatment centre, in 2013 I was alcohol free for two years and prescribed antidepressants. The medication exacerbated my symptoms, and ... View more

For many years, pre medication, I turned to alcohol to 'numb' the pain of depression and PTSD. After a period in a treatment centre, in 2013 I was alcohol free for two years and prescribed antidepressants. The medication exacerbated my symptoms, and caused other serious, adverse side affects. I decided to come off the medication, finding the withdrawal a painful experience physically and emotionally. 1 year ago feeling very raw, with suicidal ideation, I picked up a drink again to find some relief from the pain and fear. I have had the usual regular Psych counselling, and endeavour to do some regular walking, but I'm am finding it hard to resist having a drink to find some relief. I would like to know if their are others of you who are unable to take medication, and how you cope.

Mc62 Run out of meds
  • replies: 9

Not the actual tablets etc , run out of medications to try ,and likley fairly close to running out of combinations 40 yrs of it , diagnosis originally clinical depression , ptsd and recently severe angziety attacks, now at fifty four I've totally run... View more

Not the actual tablets etc , run out of medications to try ,and likley fairly close to running out of combinations 40 yrs of it , diagnosis originally clinical depression , ptsd and recently severe angziety attacks, now at fifty four I've totally run out of the anger I need to fight it. Every fourtnight the same , the cost cutting , robbing peter to pay Paul dosent work so I'm basically robbing peter to pay peter....( the snake swallowing his own tail ) ..I'm going days withought sleep and within this hole of hell my life just revolves around pension day bill paying and waiting till next pay to pay more bills..... the only two medications that help in the least don't appear to be long term options ( ie sedatives in the short term for the panic atacks and another for sleep, trouble with other is the side effects just get to grate to bear) no idea what to do ...got the psyc n gp next week but I've got nothing left to say or to feel

AJ91 25 work nights severely depressed
  • replies: 3

Hi im 25year old male who has struggled with depression since i was about 7. I also have anxiety issues and what not, but real problem im having is that i started my new job and working 6 nights a week with only Saturday night off, im starting to fee... View more

Hi im 25year old male who has struggled with depression since i was about 7. I also have anxiety issues and what not, but real problem im having is that i started my new job and working 6 nights a week with only Saturday night off, im starting to feel alienated and alot more alone then i ever have in my life. I feel im getting to attached to girls quickly in hope of a quick fix and then its putting a strain on me. i literally feel like i am alone.. that i have no friends.. feeling worthless.. like im a faliure in life because of past issues with gambling that have crept back into my life. I cant even do the things i enjoy anymore like running, gym, sports, even watching tv feels like a hastle If anyones got any suggestions on how i can try and over come this or any tips in general. Would be greatly appreciated.

jlkr decades of Loneliness
  • replies: 7

Hi, recently I have tried to reach out and try to find ways to mend my life, or what is left of it. Now in early 50's I must do something or will die alone. I have cut myself off from society when I was in late 30's as I was still unmarried with few ... View more

Hi, recently I have tried to reach out and try to find ways to mend my life, or what is left of it. Now in early 50's I must do something or will die alone. I have cut myself off from society when I was in late 30's as I was still unmarried with few relationships. I have met females but lacked confidence, in fact I attracted women easily and had a number of female friends but was very shy and had no confidence. Looking back I was a pretty normal guy with friends and a great future in my work. Then this girl I was interested in but were only friends slept with my best mate. I was just getting over a similar thing happening to me. After that I broke down and cried and maybe had what I think is a nervous breakdown and fell on the floor, ive never been the same since. That was the start of my life falling apart. I shut myself off from people and other things also made me feel very depressed. So I moved away from that place and moved to a new location. But the new place I had no friends or anyone I knew. I also lost all my money when I arrived, got robbed so had to start my new life from the bottom. I shut myself off from society, that was early 2000's. At the end of the decade I made money and traveled and I felt like I was living again. In fact I met a couple of women on my travels through Asia and had some relationships for the first time in decades It helped give me confidence back again and I felt like a human again but that is all in the past too now. I returned from traveling after my money run out and my bushiness failed and now for 2 -3 years have been living alone again. I have no friends, no family. My mother passed away a few years ago who was my last family member. have no kids or anything. The only friends I have are a couple of junkies in Sydney as do not like talking to normal people as I pretty much hate society and normal life since my life is such a failure. I have not been able to hold a job, have no qualifications. I tried hard with work this year but was made to feel stupid been bossed around by kids at my work. Such horrible people. The worse part of my life is now realizing in now in early 50's and now will live the rest of my life alone, with no children or family.

craft24 Difficulty managing everything
  • replies: 6

Hi everyone, this is my first time here and things are getting a bit hard for me so I just wanted to open up I guess. I'm from the UK originally and about 5 years or so ago a doctor diagnosed me with depression. She wasn't my usual doctor and I didn'... View more

Hi everyone, this is my first time here and things are getting a bit hard for me so I just wanted to open up I guess. I'm from the UK originally and about 5 years or so ago a doctor diagnosed me with depression. She wasn't my usual doctor and I didn't want to go onto any medication so I just accepted it and tried to manage by myself. Shortly after that I met my now fiancee and things improved. We've never had a great sex life which is mainly down to me and my general lack of intimacy. It sucks because I do enjoy it, just can't instigate or get really involved, but recently it's become so bad she's talking about not wanting to be in the relationship anymore. We had a baby 4 months ago so that changed things a lot, we have moved house, emigrated here a year ago (she's Australian) and I am the sole income earner on not a great salary with hardly anything left over after bills, etc. So basically money, relationships stuff and life pressures have been my stresses, and I can feel the depression coming back heavily. It's always popped up now and again but I've manged to deal with it, but I think this might be the last straw. I've booked in with my GP on Friday to see if there's anything I can do, but I'm worried I'm going to loose her. I don't enjoy my job, which she knows and wants me to leave it, and I feel like this is adding to the problem. I would quit today if I could but I have too much responsibility and it doesn't look like the government would help. I guess I don't really have a question, just wanted to talk about what's happening. With emigration I don't have my family and friends around so feel quite isolated and haven't had much luck making new friends since being here. Today has been hard after this talk of ending the relationship, which I don't want to do obviously, hopefully all of this is tied together somehow and I can get help.

AnnaSpanna This black dog has sapped the life out of me!
  • replies: 9

I'm in my late 40s and have been fighting this damn black dog my whole life. And I'm totally exhausted from the fight. It's getting worse with age, as it did with my brother, who was dead at 51 and my father who was dead at 66 and my grandmother who ... View more

I'm in my late 40s and have been fighting this damn black dog my whole life. And I'm totally exhausted from the fight. It's getting worse with age, as it did with my brother, who was dead at 51 and my father who was dead at 66 and my grandmother who spent her final days in an asylum in the UK. I'm not going to "end it" though, because I have a very loving and understanding husband and son, and I would never do that to them. But I find myself pushing people out of my life, usually because I can't be bothered dealing with people who I feel aren't on my side, and never will be. I can't deal with any disloyalty by "friends" on any level. I'm not sure if a bit of paranoia is creeping in or if I'm just at that stage in life where I'm getting very choosy about the people in my life. I can't be bothered doing anything. I've given up looking for work because I know I couldn't hold down a job anyway. The bad days are greatly outnumbering the good. Sometimes I go days without even bothering to shower. I have to really push myself to do even the most basic household chore. Everything just seems pointless, EVERYTHING! My medication works some days, and others not at all. I've never found therapy very helpful in the past. I'm worried that I'm in a downward spiral and not sure where it's taking me. I really don't know what to do to stop it. When Major Depressive Disorder is strongly genetic, as it is in my case, what can you do??? Not much I suspect! Except to hide myself away from the world and keep pushing people away. I know the pain that suicide causes those who are left behind, and I would never do that to my son. My brother's suicide a few years ago affected me greatly and that's when my downward spiral began. And of course, then there's the extremely dysfunctional childhood at the hands of an abusive alcoholic and depressed father. Nothing works. I'm so very tired from fighting with this black dog, I wish he'd bugger off, but I know he never will. I'm really only writing this to get all of this crap out of my head. I know I'm stuck with this for life. Thank you for listening.

ScarlettR Depression episodes
  • replies: 8

So I've been diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia, depression and anxiety. I don't suffer from schizophrenia symptoms at all as I'm on really good medication for it. The issue is being depressed and anxious, and it's more an emotional thing than a p... View more

So I've been diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia, depression and anxiety. I don't suffer from schizophrenia symptoms at all as I'm on really good medication for it. The issue is being depressed and anxious, and it's more an emotional thing than a psychotic thing. I have a pretty bad family life - my sister is autistic and prone to screaming tantrums and verbally attacking all of us. My dad gets bitter and short with us, especially me (I don't know why), for no good reason. The only level headed, somewhat kind person in the household is my mum, and she can be pretty spiteful at times. Most days of the week, I feel fine. Then sometimes, usually in the evening, I get anxiety attacks and very bad feelings of being alone and lost. My heart races, my forehead perspires, I'm gasping for air - also feeling very sad and hopeless and unwanted. I try not to feel suicidal (I'm afraid of death) but I feel so hopeless that no one loves or wants me. It's bad enough I don't even confide in my sister, who is closest in age to me, and my parents are always sticking up for her when we quarrel. I also think about and have flashbacks of my high school past, although I'm 28 now. I think about how most of the kids there treated me, ostracising me, or if they knew I existed, they would bully and make fun of me. I had a very lonely time, and had no one to talk to. So now my life quality has improved a lot, but I still think about those and get agitated, angry and upset. It doesn't help with my current situation at home. I have considered moving out but I can't find a job that would support me. So for the moment, I'm stuck at home with the fam.

patchie One step forward, two steps back?
  • replies: 2

Posted before on doubts & first psych app, eager for change! Psych app #5 is this Wed and I'm fighting the urge to cave and cancel! God I just want to never go back... I lost motivation. Followed my psych's advice on looking for meditation apps + dif... View more

Posted before on doubts & first psych app, eager for change! Psych app #5 is this Wed and I'm fighting the urge to cave and cancel! God I just want to never go back... I lost motivation. Followed my psych's advice on looking for meditation apps + diffusion techniques. Started draw vent art. Had a spark to draw for fun but lost it again. My own projects and ideas are collecting dust. I fallen back into destructive ways to cope. There's a constant weight on chest and I know too well both my depression and anxiety are winning. I nearly cried at Workskils the other week while I was doing job searches as the constant reminder I'm unemployed hurts. Got asked about my backup plan and couldn't answer the lady (Always wanted to do art/graphic design - uni for 4 yrs, interned for 3yrs, started freelancing - Got replaced at interning, client cancelled projects, keep getting rejected by jobs). She said I have to do a group session next week and I'm freaking out. Asked why I was seeing a psych and what I'm diagnosed with and I felt ashamed. She said "we all suffer sometimes" which I know she was trying to be comforting but it's just more evidence I'm weak. My family ended up in a domestic abuse situation and even though I don't live at home I always end up involved. Long story short my mum decided to stay. Because I'm already struggling, and upset with what had happened I wanted to step back. But now I've just ended up in a mess because Mum keeps saying I've abandoned her and being a bad influence to my sister. My anxiety is through the roof thinking of my Nana's and sister's birthday and Xmas around the corner... And I'm usually so close with my family so it's hard. I'm struggling with my friends 'cause of anxiety and feel like I'm losing everyone and being replaced because I'm not like how I used to be... I feel like I've used up all my allocated time to be broken? But everything feels worse and its winning... My psych said that I've had to deal with a lot lately and it's understandable that I finally broke. My self image is so bad though that I can't find the motivation to fight for myself... I don't deserve it. I'm so frustrated that I can't just pretend it's fine anymore... I can't find the girl that hid everything for yrs and kept going. What's the point of being me when I'm so broken? I don't bring anything of value to anyone anymore, I'm nothing special. So much bad outweighs the good this year alone that it just feels like "what's the point anymore?"

CynthiaAzure Sometimes I'm ok, then I'm just not
  • replies: 5

So I've had depression for years, mixed in with anxiety and an eating disorder (amongst other things). Thats just the general background story. Thing is, I've pushed myself hard to get to the end of my degrees. And I'm done now, thats great. I'm on m... View more

So I've had depression for years, mixed in with anxiety and an eating disorder (amongst other things). Thats just the general background story. Thing is, I've pushed myself hard to get to the end of my degrees. And I'm done now, thats great. I'm on medication. Most days I feel fine. I think I don't need psychological help. Then some days, like today, I cry every 10 minutes. It's like a never ending waterfall of tears and sobbing and I cant control it. It's like I just break apart. Then its those times, that I think definitely, I need help. But how to deal with those insecurities that Im not sick enough to 'deserve' help? I don't want to cause a fuss. Everyone gets sad. Am I just being a weakling? I need to toughen up? I think I'm just in need of someone to console me perhaps. I don't know. I just feel lost about whether I'll ever get better from this cycle. I'm sick of feeling like this.

Simon1234567890 I'm not sure if looking for advice or I just need to get this off my chest
  • replies: 2

I'm a male in his mid twenties who feels like the biggest failure in the world. I have had so many opportunities in life and I have failed every time. it's mainly due to substance abuse that I make terrible decisions. I'm lucky that I have above aver... View more

I'm a male in his mid twenties who feels like the biggest failure in the world. I have had so many opportunities in life and I have failed every time. it's mainly due to substance abuse that I make terrible decisions. I'm lucky that I have above average intelligence and ive been told that when I put the work in, I look attractive however I don't feel it. It makes my life so much easier and i feel I would be much more depressed if I didnt have those two things going for me at least. my girlfriend of nearly two years, my longest relationship, dumped me earlier this year. At the time I was happy because she had been very clingy and needy at the end and she was often getting angry with me, however I understand why now. The whole time we had been dating, there had only been one moment where she felt a real connection with me. I shut her out the rest of the time emotionally. looking back, whilst I'm not under the delusion that she was the perfect person and I have dated since, I feel I made the biggest mistake by not trying harder to connect with her. she was constantly trying with me and is the most open minded person I have ever met. She understood me like nobody else has ever, including my own family and cared for me more than anyone else ever has. aside from that I am constantly worried I am about to lose my part time job that I love and I'm now worried that I will lose the mon-Fri job I just got. I have been abusing a prescription medication. I have taken it so much that I've lost a dramatic amount of weight and I was on it at work causing problems. ive never had meth but the doses I'm having of this makes me feel like what I'd imagine meth to be like and ive stayed awake for up to three days on it, barely eating or drinking. My only salvations are the sport I train, sleeping with women (which I only managed because of my looks) and weightlifting. I haven't been able to do any of these lately due to my drug abuse, instead staying home just zoned out between wasting my life away watching pointless youtube videos. I feel anger building up inside me and I'm worried it will explode, like a jack in a box. the sport I do is a martial art and my job puts me in a position where I can hurt people and I'm very worried ill snap and do that. I've managed to push all my friends away so that I now have nobody. there's more but ive reached the length limit so ill leave it there