Young man trying to figure out life

[AverageAusGuy]

Hi all

I wanted to get some feedback from some men who have experienced similar to myself and come through it.

As a 28 year old guy trying to find my way in the world I have recently been experiencing anxiety and depression and have started seeing a psychologist and taking meds.

All of my stress comes from my chosen career path as a tradesman and wanting to make a career change. Also supporting my girlfriend while she is at uni. Moving to a new city. Being away from family and friends etc

I have been super reflective the past few months and really been evaluating my life. I feel like I'm wasting my life in a career I don't have a passion for. Feeling internal pressure to support my partner and make our move to the new city work. Also not wanting to let us down.

Has anyone else gone through this sort of thing at this age?

[geoff]

hi Greg, your thoughts are there but there're not happening, because if the job you work in doesn't suit you then problems are going to occur and there is the possibility of damaging your relationship which I hope doesn't happen.
My first real job and by this I mean on a decent wage, was sitting at a desk which I hated, so I left to work on my own to begin with, and this was when we were first married.
You are doing your best to support your g/friend but you're not happy, and that's the punch word to be happy in whatever you want to do because this then flows over to being happy in the relationship, and that's what the both of you would certinly want.
You can't stay where you are at the moment because it may become worse for you, and when this happens it becomes a heavy load on your mind and then your relationship with your g/friend, and that's not what you want to happen, so can I ask what you may intend to do, and whether or not becoming self employed maybe the answer, and sometimes requires very little cost.
Hope to hear back from you. Geoff.

[AverageAusGuy]

Hey thanks Geoff

Well I'd like to get a different non trade job. Maybe at bunnings or a storeman etc. Something different to recharge mentally and begin part time uni studies. I've applied for over 20 jobs in the past month and haven't received a single interview. I don't want this to affect my relationship but know it could

[Princechamp]

Hi Geoff I just signed up to this site because I was feeling sad,miserable
and depressed, at the
moment I still feel bad very bad.

I wanted to compliment you on your beautiful dog in the profile photo,he
looks exactly like my fox terrier who died a few days ago aged 17years.I really
miss him as he was a faithful and loyal companion.

It was very strange that your picture was the first I saw,Give your dog a big
hug just from me.

Can you give me some advice on how to get over my loss.Thank you.

Cheers.

Robert.

[PatT]

Hi Greg,

I'm 25 and have been to university changing between three different degrees, finally about to complete one at the middle of this year. I still don't even know if it's what i want to do, it just seems to be more or less something i've fallen in to. My belief is that nobody really knows what they want to be at a young age and we generally accept a course of action based on the recommendations of our peers and elders. I wanted to be a writer since I was a child -> I found the degree difficult so I changed to politics -> I found the degree boring so I changed to public health. I'm not even sure if I'm interested but here i am. I know i can actually leave this degree if i want and i may do that. If you're having such doubts now then please, evaluate the situation and think about leaving.

You have the benefit of youth on your side so figure out what you really want to do and work towards it. Money is money, but enjoying your work means enjoying your life. Have a good think and make some moves towards a different career.

[geoff]

dear Robert, someone had adviced me of your post, which I could have easily missed if not for him telling me and I'm so pleased that he has.
How can I say just how sorry I am for you to loss your precious dog a few days ago, but believe me I truly am, it's like our leg has been chopped off, that's how much it hurts, it tears a hole in our heart because our faithful puppie is not there when we turn around or want to get into the car, or a ball to throw, which thery would chase day in day out.
The dog before the one on the photo who is named Mindy or generally I call her Moo-Moo, was a long aired Jack Russell who I had for 18 years and was such a special puppie who was called Tessie, just as Moo-Moo is, but Tessie wouldn't let the ambulance men try to attend to me, as I have been told, as she would growl at them so she had to be locked into another room.
At hospital all I said was that I needed to get home to my puppie, and once discharged myself so that I could be with her.
Unfortunately she developed cancer and had to have to lump cut out, but after a month or so I had to make that very difficult decision that I had to put her to sleep, I think one of the hardest decisions I have ever had to make, and I hated myself which then caused me to have a relapse.
I still had Moo-Moo who has her own funny little idiosyncrasies but she could never replace the loss of Tessie and still have a photo of me holding both of them on the wall.
People always say to get another puppie straight away, easy to say but not to do, because it's hard to find the same love you had for the one that's passed away, but it won't be long before you start to love him or her as they will have their own different little ways.
Robert I can really feel for you and I am so deeply sorry for your loss, as 17 years is a long time and the relationship or union must have been so strong.
Please I would dearly love to hear back from. Geoff.

[white knight]

Hi

That was a beautiful post Geoff.

Greg, I started at 17 yo in the RAAF. Failed in my chosen trade in radio. Then worked in prisons and 15 other profession's before finally becoming a private investigator a job very suited and I thrived, every day was different.

So you are entitled to feel frustrated. But you might need to hold off for a while changing jobs till your partner ends her studies and finds work. We can't do everything immediately.

Tony WK

[geoff]

hi Greg, if you have been working as a trademan, then a job at a hardware store would suit you down to the ground, so I hope that you can let us know. Geoff.

[smithschips]

Hi Greg,

Your post really hit home with me mate, I'm 28, moved city a couple of years ago, and am supporting my wife and son (5 months old ) from a job that i hate, I'm a 2nd year apprentice fitter and turner.

I'm going through a very simalar set of circumstances with similar mental state, and since jumpi g onto BB i have bumped into some of the most helpful people with absolutely fantastic advice, which gave me the confidence to see my gp and get back on the straight and narrow.

full credit to you for getting involved here on the forums.

I hope you start to find your path, and get some clarity of where you are in this world, I'mlooking forward to hearing how you get on.

Chips

[james318]

Hey Greg,

I feel I'm in a similar, though slightly different situation. I'm 27, I moved to Aus 3 1/2 years ago with a friend under the pretense of a lads trip, though I was really running away from a relationship that had broken down after my then girlfriend had a miscarriage. I took it really badly, started drinking a lot and was generally a terrible partner, so I left.

Now though, I'm stuck in a job that I hate because of my visa conditions, my boss has pretty much blackmailed me into working on the other side of the country for the last year or so and I can't shake the feeling that I'm just wasting my life. I'm not great at making friends anyway, and it's been really stressful having to make all new friends again on the east coast.

Moving to australia was the first time I'd moved out of my dad's house and I really don't want to go home because I think I'll feel like a failure, and I feel like everyone back home has grown without me and I'm not sure that I still have a place there

All this has caused me to get pretty depressed and I recently started medication. I just feel stuck between a job I hate, and going home and feeling like a failure. I'm not really sure I can offer any advice, but what you said struck a chord with me and I just wanted to say that you're not alone, anyway, apologies for rambling, I just needed to get that off my chest...