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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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deprees8 Talking to Family about my depression
  • replies: 3

hi second time posting. i just want to know of anyone who has had the difficulty of not being able to talk to family members when you are depressed but you can talk to a total stranger like a counselor or a social worker and have no trouble spilling ... View more

hi second time posting. i just want to know of anyone who has had the difficulty of not being able to talk to family members when you are depressed but you can talk to a total stranger like a counselor or a social worker and have no trouble spilling all of your dark depression mood and also do u feel better when u have talked it out and have trouble trying to explain to others about your depression? i just want to know because i always have difficult talking about it to my family members but am totally willing to talk to a doctor or a social worker all about my problems. has anyone else felt this way? please share it would help a lot to know that maybe i'm not the only one. thanks

sickofit27 Where did my depression come from and when will it end?
  • replies: 2

Not seeing an end to ones struggle with depression is most frustrating and confusing thing about this state of mind. Picture this: you've had a few things go wrong in your life. A build up of normal things that everyone deals with happened to come at... View more

Not seeing an end to ones struggle with depression is most frustrating and confusing thing about this state of mind. Picture this: you've had a few things go wrong in your life. A build up of normal things that everyone deals with happened to come at once; a break up with someone you still love, losing a job you loved, having to move back to your parents place which leaves you feeling like you've gone backwards in life, being screwed with by people you care about and trust. None of these are the direct cause of your depression but all were part of the catalyst. You feel weak because you can't deal with problems almost everyone faces at some point. You visit some friends to try to regain some normality, they all know your down so they try to "help" by telling you about people with much bigger problems than yours, this just makes you feel worse and weaker for not being able to cope with your now marginalised issues. On a good day you can still enjoy th work you're passionate about but on a bad day you can't even get through that without thinking "why do I suck so much at this?" your mindset is so negative your actually driving yourself to perform worse at the main thing that brought you joy in the past. You try pretending for a while, smile and talk to people as if nothing is wrong but inside your blank, you have no good feelings towards anything and after a while you become sick of lying to yourself trying to pretend like things are ok, pretending that you can get through this. You feel like crying (and sometimes do) at random points throughout the day seemingly for no reason, with no trigger, just because thats how you feel constantly. You have absolutely no drive to live, you've established some kind of work routine to at least not loose all your ability due to this spell of depression but you know it's not enough and you know it's not working. You question whether your just reinforcing bad work habits trying to work on anything in this mindset. Everyone in your world knows what your going through but no one knows what to do or say and they can't do anything to help you, they might try but they say the stupidest stuff that just makes you feel worse. "you need to get a thicker skin" "your overreacting, everything's fine" "Stop being so emotional" "Just think obout how other people have bigger problems". The worst thing about depression is that you know your the only one that can fix this problem but you don't know where to start.

Pantheress The blind China man, Karma, every dog has its day.
  • replies: 7

I know bad things happen to good people. I just wonder why it seems to happen, so much to me. I wonder if somehow I attract bad luck to me. It's not even a case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. I've convinced myself, I'm one of God's fa... View more

I know bad things happen to good people. I just wonder why it seems to happen, so much to me. I wonder if somehow I attract bad luck to me. It's not even a case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. I've convinced myself, I'm one of God's favourites. Because there are givers & takers in life. This is not good or bad. Just the balance of things like black & white, yin & yang. The givers seem to suffer so much more hardship than the takers. I say God is training me in the trials of life to help others. Because as we all know when your a giver, no matter how bad your feeling, when you see some one fallen down or just miserable or struggling in general. We'll stop & put our hand out. Let me share & help ease your burden. So God trains us up in life's hardship to give us skills to assist others & this keep humanity going. Givers learn how to catch the curve balls, how to roll with the punches, how to throw that mask on at a moments notice & smile just to lift another's day, When inside your dying & don't know how you can travel on another day. I say God I'm tired. I've learned enough please let me rest for just a bit. But still the curve balls keep coming. With every punch I've dragged myself back up and plodded on to another day. My mask is dusty and cracked. So I'm running out of platitudes & wondering why my life has to be this way. I have become silent in my grief, I wonder will people believe me if I speak of the last curve ball that just came hurtling through? My 17 yr old son say why does God hate us? Suppose this is the difference between boys and girls. My 15yr old daughter says our life is like a Maladrama or some horror movie, she states I never tell anyone at school about what happens at home, I couldn't stand it if they didn't believe me or even worse felt pity for me. Do you think people can be contributing to their own bad luck? I'm sure if I stand on the freeway at peak hour and get stuck, I'd probably have to take some responsibility. But I rarely get to leave my home. I hardly have contact with society, friends or family only the kids & me trapped at home. How does this keep happening. When does it end. What am I doing to keep having sh*t piled on me?

angeljade13 Relapse potentially?
  • replies: 10

Good evening. This is my first post. Hope to get some advise. I'm in remission from depression/anxiety which was diagnosed January 2014 so two years on and recently I've been feeling sad and confused. Could I be relapsing already? Currently on approp... View more

Good evening. This is my first post. Hope to get some advise. I'm in remission from depression/anxiety which was diagnosed January 2014 so two years on and recently I've been feeling sad and confused. Could I be relapsing already? Currently on appropriate medication for treatment which has been very successful. Anyone else experienced these feelings? Thank you.

bjames Social security - catch 22
  • replies: 11

Hi all, I've had severe depression and anxiety for 3 1/2 years now. In 2 weeks, I will not have left the house for 2 years and for the year prior it was 4 times for doctors appointments. The problem I have is that I have been supporting myself financ... View more

Hi all, I've had severe depression and anxiety for 3 1/2 years now. In 2 weeks, I will not have left the house for 2 years and for the year prior it was 4 times for doctors appointments. The problem I have is that I have been supporting myself financially throughout all of this time. Not having an income for 3 1/2 years with the usual outgoings is crippling me. I've made adjustments in my life to ensure to cut down on any waste of money. I want to apply for some sort of social support/welfare but I am in a catch 22 position. My anxiety is such that I just won't leave home and I dread the thought of having to jump through hoops, so much so, that I have been willing to just support myself financially for the sake of my savings. Well, over the past year the constant attack on my savings is not helping with my anxiety levels at all. I am not tackling thoughts of eventually running out of money and where it puts my future. Has anyone had this problem? Does centrelink cater for us socially phobic people who just can't bring themselves to go to the required meetings to "jump through hoops". I am sure I am not the only one in this position. Any advice or feedback would be greatly appreciated. Bj

Scotchfinger What's the point?
  • replies: 15

I don't suffer clinical depression but I am certainly capable of depressing thoughts. Pessimistic thoughts. Negative thoughts. "Scotchfinger, why are you such a drag?"Well not all the time.So here is my most depressing thought of late."What's the poi... View more

I don't suffer clinical depression but I am certainly capable of depressing thoughts. Pessimistic thoughts. Negative thoughts. "Scotchfinger, why are you such a drag?"Well not all the time.So here is my most depressing thought of late."What's the point. We're all gonna die one day anyway."I just lose all motivation when I hear myself think that thought. What would a CBT counsellor say in response to that?beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

prettysad09 If I don't feel sad I feel nothing
  • replies: 3

So. Where to even begin. My extremely small circle of friends is getting sick of it all I am sure.... Of course they don't say so to my face, but they hang around with me less and when I try to tell them how I am feeling alone, they say not much at a... View more

So. Where to even begin. My extremely small circle of friends is getting sick of it all I am sure.... Of course they don't say so to my face, but they hang around with me less and when I try to tell them how I am feeling alone, they say not much at all. It all started with my marriage break-up, I couldn't cope with how I hurt my ex so I cut him off completely and moved interstate. Away from all my family, "friends", my dog and every single thing I owned. The "friends" part was hurtful in itself as immediately after we announced our separation they cut me off and wanted nothing to do with me... None of them kept in contact when I moved. Instead they spread rumours about me amongst themselves, making me feel worthless. So, I move, on my own. For the first time ever in my life I am alone... I am always lonely, I am sad, depressed, anxious and angry with myself for making this all happen. I am also angry with my ex - why didn't he help me? I asked for his help before I left (already being diagnosed with anxiety and depression) and he 'let' me go. He was supposed to be there for me! I'm away from everyone who cares about me without judgement, although I'm not close with my family at all - which makes that 'nothing' feeling very real; if my own family don't care why would anyone else? Why would I? Why would my ex? Why would my friends? I feel like I am absolutely alone in this world now and I am barely keeping my head above water. Trying to make new friends is near impossible; I have joined numerous Meetup groups and I make no connections. I have tried to join social groups to the same avail. I also now have a new partner who is great, but he doesn't understand why I cry for no reason at any time of the day. He just goes quiet which frustrates me SO much and I then get angry. I also don't see a long term future with him; which also ads to my sadness. I can't bring myself to end things with him because I'm not strong enough. As I write this I feel I sound so incredibly selfish and stupid. I'm sorry, please don't judge me, I cannot help how I feel. I see a psychologist and have done for years now, I'm not interested in meds, and I don't feel I am progressing anymore with my psych. I will organise to see a new one and hope this makes a difference. Every minute of my day feels like panic, I feel like I don't belong anywhere and haven't for at least 3 years. How do I get that feeling back? I don't want to feel this way anymore. I'm exhausted.

Bexx Not sure what is best
  • replies: 3

Hello. I am almost 30 (this month) and have PSTD, generalised anxiety disorder and major depressive disorder. I have been in a long term relationship which has been unhealthy for both parties and not much of a relationship to be honest. I only just s... View more

Hello. I am almost 30 (this month) and have PSTD, generalised anxiety disorder and major depressive disorder. I have been in a long term relationship which has been unhealthy for both parties and not much of a relationship to be honest. I only just started seeking professional treatment about 6 months ago when I had a massive breakdown and had to be admitted to a psyciatric hospital. While my partner has said he still loves me, he has made it clear the behaviours we had before cannot continue as it was not fair or healthy and he will not stand for it anylonger. I understand this and agree but it increases anxiety to worry about falling back into the rut and also clearly identifying what is and what is not acceptable as his communication skills arent that great. I spent 4 months in a psyciatric clinic stabalising, and after discharge, I went to live at my parents as i was too much for my partner to care for while working full time. I have been recovering slowly from the last breakdown and then had to move house. A huge change as its quite far from my family (35km vs 1km, house vs apartment) and my partner is overseas for another month. I managed the move successfully by myself through all the bumps that were thrown at me, but I have only been able to sleep there a few nights. Over the past weeks i have had daily panic attacks and they are now so bad, i have regressed to the point where i cant manage on my own. I can barely eat and i have ulcers in my mouth and stomach. I cant sleep, i cant relax. I have come back to my parents but im not sure is this the best thing for me... should i stay here or should I go back to the psyciatric hospital? I know i need to learn more independence and my partner thinks my parents 'baby' me but i also think this is helpful because its less artificial than the hospital environment and when i improve i have the ability to do things for myself whereas in the hospital i have to wait till im discharged to be able to 'practice' things like cooking for myself and cleaning for myself. In addition to this, i can have my two dogs at my parents who really comfort me and i cant have them at the hospital. i am wondering what other peoples opinions are on this... am i better off with my parents or back in hospital?

hope4joy Is depression stuck at my core?
  • replies: 13

Hi everyone, I’ve just joined up to this forum because I’m feeling pretty alone with my depression lately. I’m in this weird place where I’ve done a fair bit of therapy and growth stuff over the last few years and have better skills in coping with di... View more

Hi everyone, I’ve just joined up to this forum because I’m feeling pretty alone with my depression lately. I’m in this weird place where I’ve done a fair bit of therapy and growth stuff over the last few years and have better skills in coping with distress and keeping active and talking about how I feel and looking after myself physically etc BUT at the same time I just seem to be getting sadder and sadder and in a way more and more isolated from meaningful connections with people. So despite all my new skills I feel further away from living and joy and life. Can anyone relate? I’m in my mid 30s and am scared that my depression will just keep getting worse no matter what I do. I used to have so much enthusiasm for trying to heal, but this year I’m trying to accept I might have a life-long mental illness. But how can I help the downward slide from getting worse...? Its like the treatments affect the superficial parts of my depression, but at my core it doesn’t budge :(

Guest_485 The Feeling of Worthlessness
  • replies: 3

How do you keep going, when it feels like everything is failing. How do you keep getting out of bed every single morning, when there is no point to it. I have read a thousand times that happiness and fulfillment are choices, and yet I have not chosen... View more

How do you keep going, when it feels like everything is failing. How do you keep getting out of bed every single morning, when there is no point to it. I have read a thousand times that happiness and fulfillment are choices, and yet I have not chosen this life. It seems to have chosen me. I work myself into the ground, days filled with busyness, rude customers and other people's problems, just so I can spend as little time as possible at home with my own mind. When I crave sleep, I can't get it. But when I do get it, it is so broken and plagued that I don't want it. I have an incredibly talented and supportive professional team behind me, and I recognize how lucky I am in that. But I am honestly at a stage where I feel so darkly alone, and I don’t think things can get better. I don’t know what to do anymore.