I was told my depression is not 'real' depression

[StillToBloom]

I have been suffering from depression and anxiety continuously for 7 years. I have seen many mental health professionals and tried 4 common antidepressants with no relief to my symptoms.

I have finally found a psychologist who is kind and helpful but I still experience strong feelings of hopelessness, apathy, no motivation and just in general do not really enjoy anything about my life.

So I went to see a psychiatrist for some specialist insight into medications to try to help me start climbing out of the black hole.

It was the psychiatrist who told me my depression was not an illness because I was not suicidal. She told me that I had just got too comfortable in my living situation (living with my parents) and should have tried harder to get a job even when I have no confidence or self-worth. She said that my parents should have put pressure on me to 'do something with my life' and that they should not have been concerned about causing me distress if I was not suicidal. She said I should lose weight and take pride in my appearance so that I will be more confident.

I cannot get the things she said out of mind. I believe what she said because she is an 'expert'. I am starting to believe that my condition is all my fault. I felt like I have taken on as much as I can while trying to recover, but now I feel like I must have just been lazy.

It is a week until I can see my psychologist again and I don't know how to deal with the extra burden of those comments going around in my head.

I'm not even sure that I am right to be upset. I'm not certain that her comments were inappropriate.

I don't know how to tell my GP that this psychiatrist may not have properly understood what I am going through, because my GP will start using the psychiatrist's letter to set out my recovery plan.

[Guest_1643]

Hi StilltoBloom, thanks for explaining. (I like your username, it shows hope, we all need hope...)

sounds like you were dressed cute and neat... I don't know that it's so fair for her to make judgements like that. I also don't imagine I would manage very well being summed up by my clothes and dress-size. How did things end with her? I'm so glad you're getting good support here, that sounds like such a hard thing to go through.

[Deckt]

Yeah..... I tend to find that the people that ACTUALLY are passionate about helping people tend to show it with their actions, and don't need to actually say it.

I hope that things start to look up for you, and I think you've made a good decision to get help from another psych. If this is your first experience, they are NOT all like that!

[StillToBloom]

Hi Sleepy21,

Haha yes, sometimes it feels illogical but I still have hope.

As my appointment progressed I was engaging with her less, she didn't seem to need me to contribute for her to go on with her theories. After she insulted psychologists I pretty much stopped talking to her and just wanted to leave.

She is sending medication recommendations to my GP and said that if they don't work out I am welcome to follow up with her. Plan A would be that the medication works, Plan B would be to find yet another psychiatrist.

I really appreciate all the responses here. This is the first time that I've felt so lost that I needed to talk with someone outside my psychologist to give me reassurance that I'm not responsible for my own pain.

[Guest_4643]

Hi StillToBloom (love the username), welcome to the forums.

Wow, that is extremely rude of the Psychiatrist to say that to you, you should make a complaint if you feel comfortable. I'm so sorry you went through that. Definitely tell the GP, and if you still want to see a Psychiatrist, keep looking. That's awful, I'm really sorry you were treated like that.

Your feelings and emotions are valid, as are you and you don't need to be shut down like that especially by someone who's supposed to be a professional. I can't imagine how sad you'd be feeling right now.

But just know that none of it's your fault, you were very courageous trying to seek help and I'm proud of you. Please take care.

Tayla

[geoff]

Hello StillToBloom, and there's not much I need to say as all those above me have qualified for that.

What this psychiatrist has said to you is definitely the reason why I don't like visiting them, as the 3 or perhaps it's 4 of them, have had very little companionship or feeling towards how I was feeling at that time or what I had to say when depression controlled me.

I came out of each session feeling worse than what I did before I went in, and even one of them was the regarded as the top psych in Vic, I didn't concur.

They are there to supposedly help you and not make you feel as though depression is all our fault, it's certainly not and empathise for you.

Geoff.

[Andre_P]

Next thing the psych will be telling you to “snap out of it” and “just get on with it” and “just think happy thoughts” and “everything’s just magical with fairies and rainbows and unicorns”.

any psych of any kind ever said that to me, I’d simply walk out the door (and probably without paying).

any psych that says that is no fit to practise.

Sorry to hear that 👊

[Guest_4643]

I've been told that and worse things like how to, you know, by Psychologists. This is why I no longer see them. And I've been laughed at when I've been serious, so asking a serious question. You don't deserve that, nobody does. You should definitely report them.

[Guest_1643]

Hi Geoff, having had the same experience as you, and onec also with a pyschiatrist who is known as a "giant" in his field and in Victoria.
I finally feel now that credentials are not everything, and sometimes can be quite meaningless. A pyschiatrist can be good at studying etc,and collecting degrees but not good with people, and sometimes they even their credentials are outdated - they received them 30 or 40 years ago, and have not kept up to date at all. The industry isn't regulated enough, and I feel like the good ones are usually found through word of mouth.

[Guest_1643]

Hi Still to Bloom, that sounds very perceptive that you realised she was less interested when she didn't think you'd be her willing patient. I also think that criticising other health professionals, ( in this case psychologists) in your first session is a big red flag. . It's like they want to make themselves look like the only one who could help. It's much more professional to work with the patient and be respectful of different modalities, and itnerested in them.