I've never felt more alone

[roseose]

I don't know if it's the isolation, or just my head, but I have never felt so alone in my life, and it's not fair. I should be happy, I've come so far from negative things in my life, and I'm still just so sad.

I feel like I don't have anybody to talk to beside my boyfriend, and even though he's happy to help me, I feel like I'm just dragging him down and he doesn't understand, and I've stopped bothering with trying to ask him for help. He always says that his friends are my friends too, but I'm never invited into the conversations, nor have I been invited anywhere with them in the past unless by my boyfriend. Once when I tried to ask, I was sort of just told that "oh... you can come if you really want to, i guess", which just made me feel more unwelcome.

I feel like I'm just a person who happens to be there, like a side character in a movie or something, and this hasn't been making mental health feel any better. I feel unwanted.

I have nobody to talk to, and I feel like my mental health is just getting worse and worse. I can't even be bothered to make myself breakfast anymore, or brush my teeth some days.

I just feel so alone, and I don't know what to do.

[Sophie_M]

Hi roseose,

Welcome to the forums, we are so glad that you have reached out to our wonderful community here tonight. It sounds like you've been feeling really lonely lately, and we are so sorry that you are in such a tough space right now. But please know that you're not alone in this, and our community is here to offer as much support, advice and conversation as you need. 

If you feel up to it, you are also welcome to get in touch with our Support Service which is available 24/7 on 1300 22 4636 or you can visit www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport, and one of our friendly counsellors will be able to talk things through with you.

We hope that you keep checking back in with our community to let us know you're going, whenever you feel up to it.

[smallwolf]

Hi and welcome to beyond blue.

I was talking about a similar situation with somebody recently. I don't know what you were doing before we had to isolate, but I had started a job in an office (parish admin) to get back into society for lack of a better word. Anyway, with all the changes that occurred I became increasingly irritable and during this chat I worked out that perhaps sadness over what I had "lost" was the primary feeling and needing to allow myself to grieve. But the current situation can make the feelings of loneliness worse.

Perhaps you could tell me a little more about where you have come from, or what you do? Please do not feel you have to jump into the deep stuff yet or here. Have you spoken with your GP?

And it is a positive your BF wants to help. It sounds like you feel you are an outsider to his group of friends. Our past experiences can have an effect on how we might process a process. So the response you got that made you feel unwelcome would be similar to me. Sort of like "are you REALLY sure you would enjoy this".

what are some of your hobbies or interests?

Also the people are supportive and can understand. Listening to you,

Tim

[bluenight]

Hey roseose,

Yeh I know, I've been feeling the same, it's a horrible feeling and it's tough to get through, for some reason I seem to perk up around sunset which is weird isn't it? I'm wondering if the isolation has something to do with it.

It's good that you feel you've surpassed a lot of negative aspects in your life, but I think these difficult times will keep popping up for the rest of our lives, I think that's the way it works? But that's okay because we become stronger and we grow and develop through hard times. We also become better at handling adversity.

It might sound really negative but I've come to expect hard times or things to not turn out how I envisioned, by expecting it, I feel more accepting of things and I also feel more prepared in a way.

In regards to your post, maybe if your boyfriend and his friends knew how you felt they would ask you out more often. I'm not saying you should tell them but they might have no idea you feeling the way you are.

Hope I've helped somehow!