Dear Emma B~
Before answering I read your helpful posts to Acceptance and guess you are a sensible and realistic person. I'm sorry you feel lonely, depressed and anxious, it is a horrible way to be and the small hours do magnify everything. I'd imagine you are already in contact with a doctor and having medical support, I do hope so as it was the only way I improved.
Frankly I'd think it is unkind to call what you describe as 'sex addiction'.
Please don't think I'm being judgmental or negative, I just wanted to offer a couple of thoughts as you raised the matter. I'm no expert.
Going online to seek another so you can feel less lonely, pretty and loved is very understandable, something many do. If not always on-line in other situations too, and this includes long term partnerships where intimacy reassures, brings closer and can of course have it own delights.
I wonder how I'd fare going down hte short-term path. I think I'd end up getting very hurt when the assignation was over. At least for me I invest an awful lot of myself when being intimate with another and for it to break off would not be good, in tact very hard to deal with.
Once one settles on an activity that brings temporary relief - for many things - then there is a temptation - plus habit - to keep on repeating that activity, even if the long term results are unwelcome. They may in fact reinforce the original problem. Now this may sound silly or unrelated but I used smoking as a form of dealing with things, not a good idea but in the very short term it helped.
Do you think it is worth looking at the reasons you do not feel pretty and lovable? Looking at my underlying conditions of PTSD, anxiety and bouts of depression eventfully placed me in a more secure position. I suspect if you are like I have so often been you are selling you nature short - and probably your looks too. After all I've found one radiant smile is the most potent form of good looks.
Croix
