Recently I was “fired” from my second job. I know that when people are
fired they often don’t believe they deserved it, however this is a true
case of I really didn’t deserve it. At the time, I was also taking time
off from my first job, as I have de...
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Recently I was “fired” from my second job. I know that when people are
fired they often don’t believe they deserved it, however this is a true
case of I really didn’t deserve it. At the time, I was also taking time
off from my first job, as I have desperately been wanting to leave
entirely. I thought by taking time off there, I could focus on my second
job, however then this incident happened. The time I took off from my
first job was for a 2 month period, and I cannot cancel it. So right
now, I am unemployed, and have been for almost 4 weeks. I wasn’t getting
many hours at my first job anyway, and it was an environment that was
severely draining me mentally; not because the job was hard, but because
it was too simple and not mentally stimulating in the slightest. I was
losing my sense of self and a bucket load of intelligence just working
there. I don’t want to go back. I’ve been looking for more work, applied
for some, but there are not many going around. I can’t apply if there
are no positions available, but when one comes up I make sure to apply.
I’ve not received any acknowledgment or response for the ones I have
applied for. Not having any success there so far, I looked into
studying. It seems like a good avenue to take, other than it’s going to
cost me quite a lot of money; money I don’t have, other than savings,
but once I go through my savings I’ll have nothing to survive on. I’ve
also had a lot of anxiety when it has come to study, so the money
situation isn’t the only thing holding me back. I’ve suffered depression
amongst other things since I was fourteen. Four years ago I made
progress, and thought I had overcome it. But now I feel it taking
control again, and I’ve tried my best to keep it at bay, but it’s a
beast. I feel hopeless, lost, miserable and pathetic. I’m an adult and
yet I feel like I’m not living like an adult should; I’ve struggled but
found ways to cope in recent years, but now I’m beyond struggling and I
don’t know what to do. I wanted to be in a stable full time job by now,
and yet I find myself unemployed and depressed. How it came to this, I
do not know; possibly just poor judgment of character and choice of
work. In my mind, I know their actions speak more about the type of
people they are, and not about the person I am. But it’s their actions,
their intentionally cruel decisions, which have affected me so greatly.
And now I am struggling beyond belief, and falling into a black hole of
depression as each day passes.
How do I talk to my doctor?
