Bipolar downers

[white knight]

I have depression down times, constant depression in the form of Dysthymia and bipolar down periods. They are all distinctly different.

Depression when it hits can make me tired but that is more like what my wife feels and she hits the bed. For me it’s a time when I feel suppressed, emotional, foggy head and no motivation.

Dysthymia is a depression that is forever present. Thankfully my positive mind over rides that most times and it is easier to live with.

But bipolar down times are the most difficult of all. It’s like living on a cliff edge with your feet trying to push you away from that edge only one day something or someone gives you a push. Over you go. That person is called “life”.

One example. We had visitors yesterday. Before they came we cleaned up the house, packed away stuff and even cleaned the car. All was set for a bbq in out entertainment area. We were all seated and my lovely niece commented “there’s a spider web up there”. Boom! The bipolar mood struck. Sensitivity on a global scale! With my bipolar mood it hits like a slap in the face, I can never reply during such a time, I have a desperate need to run away and on this occasion I slipped into my bedroom for a while, deep breaths. In years gone by it would be a case of crying my eyes out but I’m 62 now and I’ve learned a little about how to face the challenge of returning to the group as if nothing happened…after about an hour.

It is important to let you know that this bipolar reaction is unavoidable. It’s something we have to live with. I’m on Ad’s (small amount) and mood stabilisers that have a great daily stabilizing effect for me. But its these downers through the slightest trigger that sets me off.

To suggest finding courage to return to the fold is an understatement, its taken me many years of changing my mindset of allowing the bipolar to take a firm grip to reversing that trend and returning to normal life and family.

So my method/routine is to do this-

• Remove yourself calmly from the group

• Take deep breaths

• Find distraction (I get on a forum)

• Go for a short walk

• Accept that it isn’t the other persons fault

• Rejoin the group with a joke or humour

You might have your own routine. Can you share it? Have I described the bipolar downer accurately?

Tony WK

[Tams20]

Hi Tony WK,

I’m glad I found this thread! I was diagnosed with Bipolar II a few weeks ago, after a very unpleasant few months on ADs (mixed state, rapid cycling, suicidal thoughts) for what was originally thought to be anxiety and depression... I’ve just come off the ADs and am on mood stabilisers with anti-psychotics. Am not sure how much it is helping me yet... The meds may need a few tweaks...

Anyway, regarding your post, your description of your bipolar down times was perfect... trying to stay away from the cliff edge then someone gives you a push... for me that push can be something relatively small and insignificant, something that normally would not even make me bat an eyelid.

I liked your method/routine for reversing the trend. Before my diagnosis I had been using some of those techniques without realising why I needed them! The one that resonates the most with me is humour. I can often distract myself away from how I am feeling by using humour. It is definitely my ‘go to’ strategy for when I’m in groups, at work, around friends etc and start to feel like things are spiraling out of control.

Work is also a good distraction for me, I work full time and it keeps my mind occupied. I find I can sometimes be at a loose end mentally on weekends and that’s where I’m most likely to become down. I try to keep busy with the family, friends, exercise but I also get so tired from my week that I want to just hang at home and rest. That’s when things can go wrong....

Anyway thanks for posting. I’ve been trying to understand my illness and haven’t found that many discussions regarding Bipolar and similar disorders on the forums - so I am glad I found this!

Tams