i need someone to talk to

[_blank]

lately i’ve just been feeling very lonely and just very upset. i was diagnosed w depression around 6 months ago and for the first part i found it very difficult to accept. i’ve finally accepted that i am struggling but i just feel like my family isn’t supporting me in the way i need. they’re being extremely over protective and i feel like i am being suffocated by their restrictions. i’ve never really used this platform before so i am not really sure how it works. right now i just feel very alone w my thoughts and i just can’t seem to sleep. i don’t know why i feel so upset but i just do, i feel like it never rlly goes away no matter how much i try to push it away and not let it affect me. i really don’t like the way my parents are trying to deal with it by taking away my electronics during the night time, i took my phone as i was feeling very upset and i felt like i needed to reach out and get help. i usually don’t do stuff like this when i feel this way but i just can’t bare being alone w my own thoughts, i feel like i’m being controlled by my sadness and my pain and it just won’t go away. it’s so constant that at night i lose sleep over being upset and anxious. people keep telling me it gets better but i feel like it’s just getting worse. honestly, i don’t really want to be alive at the moment but i don’t want to act upon it bc of the people i have in my life that i don’t want to leave behind or leave upset. i want to keep pushing through but it just feels so difficult at the moment bc it feels like my parents have put up a barrier by restricting me and trying to control my life like it’s their own. i am truly sick of what they are trying to do for me bc it’s just not working and makes me feel worse rather than better. i feel like i’m trapped in a cage and i just can’t get out. i feel really upset and sick of everything. i wish i could reach out to my friends but i just don’t want to bother them bc i honestly have no idea if they would care or not. my parents have restricted my support from my friends in order to get me to seek help from them, but that’s just not what i want at all. i just feel like i need some way of communicating how i’m feeling but honestly i don’t know if typing this out is really helping me. if you read this far thank you for taking time out of your day.

[_blank]

hey therising,
thank you for your response. i have been thinking about your reply over and over again and i feel like i relate to everything your saying to a certain extent. It feels good having someone who actually understands me even if i am not talking to you face to face. Your post was very helpful and it helped me realise that i enjoy being able to have people that i can talk to and express my feelings to. It feels like this forum is my diary but some people get to read it who aren't people that i know, but i like it. Your words have inspired me to realise when i am being sensitive to my emotions and help me realise that it is a normal thing and i do feel great emotions even when i feel like i am an emotionless person. Thank you again for taking time out of your day to write me a response i really appreciate it.
cheers, blank

[Guest9337]

Hi _blank, Thanks for your thanks mate!

There's no need to be sorry for having a real life, lol.

Your dreamed utopia sounds cool, free of over judging people, able to share freely. Anonymity is powerful stuff for freeing ones expression hey!

What emotions are you feeling today and why those in particular?

dng.

[therising]

Hi _blank

Feelings are definitely strange things. I found it wasn't until I started to question a lot of my feelings that I came to realise the significance of a lot of those 'feeling' based sayings, with a handful being

• To get a feel for things
• To feel your way through life
• To feel when something's off
• To feel a connection to life

I believe we're definitely designed to be sensitive. One of the greatest challenges with being sensitive involves the fact that we're going to sense everything, including the people we don't really want to get a sense of. I've found, with such people, my sense of wonder tends to kick in. When wonder kicks in, I'll find I've emotionally detached from them. Yes, easier said than done at times. Give you an example. Just say you have someone in your life who often says 'I don't need to give you a reason'. If you are a naturally reasonable person, this may prove triggering, for a naturally reasonable person with often seek reason. Cue wonder: I wonder why this person never gives me a reason. I wonder why they expect me to just accept what they say. Revelation: Perhaps they never learned the skill of reasoning. Perhaps they grew up being guided by people who never gave reasons to them. Maybe, they are actually a little self righteous and closed minded. Jumping from feeling to pure analysis tends to trigger emotional detachment. Wonder can take you from being the participant in a drama to the observer of it.

Within recent months, I've spoken to a couple of people on separate occasions who expressed an unusual feeling they were unable to identify. They'd never felt it before, in any obvious way. They both described it as feeling like there was nothing in their head and their body felt quite light but there was no great concern about anything being wrong with this. I asked them both 'Do you think what you're feeling is a sense of peace?' Both of them were completely shocked, offering almost the same response 'That's it! It's peace! I've never felt anything like it before'. Kind of sad in a way how a sense of peace can feel so foreign to us.

We have so many feelings to sense. Someone once described learning these feelings as 'learning body language'. Translating feelings or the subtle language of the body can become so fascinating. I have to say one of my favorites is when something 'rings true'. When something rings true at a soulful kind of level, I'll get a kind of chill or what some may describe as a ringing sensation. Love it.

🙂

[_blank]

hey dng,

today i am feeling very optimistic, i am in a long distance relationship currently which lately i've been struggling with quite a lot. i don't know what has hit me, but today i feel so much more faithful in what we are going to become, i feel like everything is going to work out. I also just have the classic sadness that sort of just sticks around which is a bit difficult but i am trying to better myself by going for walks while being in lockdown.

how are you feeling today?

are you in lockdown as well? if so how are you handling it?

cheers, blank

[_blank]

Hey therising,

I hope you're doing okay and thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to respond to me.

Feelings are really weird i agree, sometimes you feel happy, sometimes sad, sometimes angry etc. but half the time you don't even understand why you are feeling that way. I feel like in a way it is not normal, to be feeling these things at random times.

I often find myself becoming very sensitive to specific things which often makes me act out and my natural response is anger, i don't know why this happens, but it just does. I dislike the way i react because it just makes me seem like a person with anger issues but deep down i know that i don't have those issues, i am just really sensitive to my surroundings. I feel like i am one to often seek reason, i always feel like there should be a reason that something happens. one of my life mottos is 'everything happens for a reason', and i stick by that. I feel like if something happens there is a reason for it, some of the time there is, but other times i just feel like i can't find the reason, even though i believe there is one.

I feel like peace is a very foreign thing to people in general, like are we ever at peace? and what does it feel like? I feel like with the medications i am on i feel just emotionless, like nothing makes me feel happy and nothing makes me feel sad, i feel like it all just builds up and i let it out either in a fit of rage or with a depressive episode (which is what i was going through when i wrote the initial post).

I agree, there are so many feelings that honestly aren't even accounted for when we think about our life. It's always are we happy or are we sad? it is never like are you feeling optimistic or drained. I get the exact same feeling but in a different form, when something i say is right it just gives me a boost of motivation and happiness, and that is special to me because it is not very often that happens.

I hope you are having an amazing day and thank you again so much for your in depth response 🙂

cheers, blank

[therising]

Hi blank

I'm so glad you're feeling more optimistic lately. Optimism definitely changes our sense of reality.

Anger's an interesting emotion, that's for sure. I find it to be very telling and, yes, confusing at times. I try and get a feel for what my anger's about. Does it feel like frustration, resentment, disappointment and so on? I suppose what I've learned over time is that anger's a trigger for greater consciousness. Hard to be this philosophical when you're at the heights of anger 🙂 A calmer mind is more revealing.

Frustration's pretty straight forward. Resentment and disappointment are feelings I find to be a little more complex. I love analysing words and redefining them in a way I can better relate to, which helps me make better sense of things...

Feeling resentment: Imagine you're in a relationship where your partner or parent sends you the message, in one way or another, 'Your free time doesn't matter'. Over and over again your partner says 'Let's go out' after you've had a hard day and you desperately need to relax and wind down or your parent says 'I need you to do this...' every time you've just sat down after completing an exhausting list of things to do. After some weeks, you start to feel angry. Looking more closely, you realise the message being re-sent over and over again is 'You're free time doesn't matter'. Throw in the suffix 'ment', meaning 'the act of'. You could say 'The act of this message being re-sent over and over again is seriously triggering me. STOP SENDING IT and be more considerate instead! My free time is valuable'. If I'm feeling resentment, chances are someone or people in general are repeatedly sending me a message that's triggering me. The question becomes 'What's the message?'

Feeling disappointment: There's nothing quite like appointing someone a role they constantly dis-appoint themself from. It's triggering, feeling the dis-appointment process. Disappointing our self from an appointed role, someone's given to us, can be pretty triggering too. Nothing quite like the feeling of 'guilt' but that's a whole other story. The ultimate question, 'Is the role or appointment reasonable to begin with?'

I find anger typically comes about when my tolerance levels have been maxed out, triggering the question 'What exactly have I been tolerating and why?'

By the way, when someone's brushing my hair or there's the sound of rain on the roof while I'm laying in bed, I'll feel a sense of peace that just about puts me to sleep 🙂

[Guest9337]

Hi _blank,

I am happy for your optimism, it's a nice feeling hey.

love dng.

[wail]

i will get bike so i can miss bus

[wail]

i walk food bank no open i have no bike i walk in rain no open