I’m not sure?

[tylerrw]

Hi, I’m new here and I’m not sure whether I’m fine or actually have depression.

I’m confused because when I’m talking people I’m fine and quite loud and bubbly. But when I’m by myself or not talking, my mind attacks itself or something. Something is telling me that I’m worthless and hopeless and all I can do is believe “it”. It’s weird because lots of things still motivate me..

Thanks.

[geoff]

Hi Tylerrw, a warm welcome to you.

If someone says to me that they 'are fine' would make me feel worried for them because what can happen is you may seem to get along with your friends by laughing and joking but as soon as you get home you fall into a ball of tears, that's what we call pretending.

Don't worry that's what most of us have done pretend to friends and even family members that we are feeling OK when in fact depression has taken control of how we feel.

Pretending will eventually become too exhausting

There are also times when we may feel motivated in depression but we don't have any strength to follow through with any plans we make, because we don't have the energy nor the inclination to do so.

Do you have anyone you can talk to, someone you trust and I say this because you don't want someone to go around and spread what you have told them in another way?

Are you able to see your GP who may prescribe medication and refer you onto a psychologist, and if this does happen, ask your doctor about the 'mental health plan', this will entitle you to 10 free sessions per year.

This is a safe and caring site where all of us have been through our type of depression and only want to help you as well as other people through this terrible illness.

Hope to hear back from you.

Geoff..

[romantic_thi3f]

Hey tylerrw,

This is a great question! But it’s tricky as hell to answer because depression manifests in different ways. Sometimes people cry, sometimes people withdraw. Sometimes people feel hopeless and worthless, other times they don’t know what they feel. What depression looks like for one person is very different to what it’s going to look like to another person.

Here is a massive list of some of the things we look out for -

Behaviour
• not going out anymore
• not getting things done at work/school
withdrawing from close family and friends
relying on alcohol and sedatives
• not doing usual enjoyable activities
unable to concentrate
Feelings
• overwhelmed
guilty
irritable
frustrated
lacking in confidence
unhappy
indecisive
disappointed
miserable
sad
Thoughts
'I’m a failure.'
'It’s my fault.'
'Nothing good ever happens to me.'
'I’m worthless.'
'Life’s not worth living.'
'People would be better off without me.'
Physical
tired all the time
sick and run down
headaches and muscle pains
churning gut
sleep problems
loss or change of appetite
significant weight loss or gain

You may find that you fit in some of most of the categories! That’s totally okay.

At the end of the day though, if you’re having a tough time, then how much does a diagnosis matter? You can still get some help, depression or no depression and help to manage some of these thoughts about being worthless and hopeless.