I'm not sure..

[TJ21]

Hi Everyone,

Just after some guidance. Over the last year or so I have noticed myself becoming slowly more emotional. I find it extremely hard to be alone, and if I am alone I often cry from loneliness. I have a lot of friends and am very social, and in these situations I am fine, however the second I am alone everything hurts again. I live with sister and her boyfriend who are expecting a baby, and I am so excited for them. I have a boyfriend of 2 years who I may not 100% trust and I am concerned this has provoked my sadness. I am definitely an over-thinker and he has never given me any reason to not trust him, I am creating scenarios in my head and I can acknowledge that. I don't know how to stop. My ex cheated on me multiple times which may be my reason for lack of trust. My father also cheated on my mother for many years. Are these feelings just the product of old wounds?

I find that I talk myself into being more sad, and making the situation worse for myself. I am on the pill and have been for many years which I know can affect your hormones dramatically, however I have never had any past issues with depression on the pill. I just need to stop feeling like this and I don't know where to start. I have a history of social anxitey, but more in the sense that I don't like speaking in public professionally like at work or when I was studying. I can handle social situations well (I think?). I have found that sometimes I overcompensate and am quite extroverted to cover up some insecurities?

Has anyone ever felt this way?

Thanks

[blondguy]

Hi TJ21

Welcome and good on you for having the courage to post too!

I do feel for you with your loneliness....It can bring us down....big time. I remember as I remember feeling the same way too in my 20's.....and it hurt.

Sometimes when we are really lonely we have too much time to think....and an idle mind can be the devils playground (as in having sad thoughts and rethinking them over and over)

You are amazing with having so many friends and thats a huge bonus. Can I ask if you are close enough to talk about how you feel to any of them?

We all need a a couple of people that we can confide in.....or have a vent to TJ.

You are not alone here as many people understand what you are going through especially with being emotional and crying.

You are an intelligent and pro-active person TJ...I used to feel the same way and I saw my GP who was really good and understanding. It felt so good talking to someone about how sad I was....

Over thinkers are very common and we end up feeling worse as a result.

If you dont wish to 'vent' to a friend I hope you can try your GP 🙂 They are well trained nowadays to help where our thinking is concerned.

you are definitely not alone

my kind thoughts for you

Paul

[geoff]

hello TJ, although we aren't allowed to give you or anyone else a diagnosis, it's still fair to say that we can suggest what you maybe suffering from, just like we would for our brother/sister, and in saying that it may appear that you are suffering from PTSD, but your doctor would have to make the official diagnosis.
I say this because you may have some doubt about your present b/friend being unfaithful to you, simply because your previous one cheated on you, plus your father cheated on your mother, so obviously these are creating huge problems for you.
With you are with your friends and b/friend then there is no need for concern, but once alone by yourself then your mind wanders making up different scenarios that may not be true.
Public speaking is something a lot of people don't like to do, because it takes technique and experience and even so that doesn't stop people from being nervous, especially when your disposition allows you to overthink and create suggestions which may not be true.
Being a male I have no idea about the pill causing depression, but as it hasn't happened before then I don't think this would be the cause.
My worry is that as you and your b/friend have been together for 2 years, then there could be issues that are starting to come to the surface which is why you are feeling this way, but can I suggest you see your doctor so a proper diagnosis can be made, and then an appropriate way for your doctor to handle this, but please get back to us. Geoff.x