I don't know what to do anymore

[Jaimi17]

I've been feeling so low for so long that it doesn't feel possible to ever be happy again. Its been over two years since a traumatic event happened where my entire world changed over night. I can't stop thinking about it, I relive it all the time. I'm tired, I feel so defeated. I have tried opening up to friends and family but they shut me down or don't respond. Most my friends left me at the same time this all happened.. It use to be my family that made me happy but now im constantly lying saying im ok just to avoid the lectures that "I should be over it by now" or the "you'll be ok". I feel like im trying to piece the puzzle of my life back together but the pieces don't fit anymore. Happiness is very short lived and even my favourite things don't make me happy anymore. I have tried counselling with 3 different people.. money is tight so its been another stress.. I have been on medication but my last doctor took me off it because i got worse and couldnt control my tears. Does anyone have any advice on what to do because I can't keep doing this alone. My heart is so heavy all the time. I just want to be happy again but I don't know how to fix it anymore and I feel like no one cares.

[white knight]

Hi jaimi, welcome

Please google

Topic: they just dont understand, why?- beyondblue

That will tell you why you dont get the support from family and friends. Best to stick with the saying "birds of a feather flock together".

A proper diagnosis or second opinion is vital imo. I had one 6 years after my first diagnosis and my illnesses were totally different. Only then can you be on the right meds and progress.

Dosage must be fine tuned and once this has happened you'll be on the right track.

Tony WK

[White_Rose]

Hello Jaimi

Welcome to Beyond Blue. It is hard to understand how the other person feels when they are in the grip of depression. Most of us have experienced physical illness and/or been injured in some way. The injury is often visible and this makes understanding and caring much easier. Compounding the problem is the community response or belief that mental illness is something to be ashamed off and hidden. It is changing, slowly. I believe that when depression etc is seen as normal many people will get well far more quickly. They will only need to battle the illness not community attitudes as well.

I am inclined to agree with Tony WK about getting another diagnosis. Can you ask your GP to refer you to a psychiatrist. Many people shrink at this idea. It's bad enough seeing a psychologist, but a psychiatrist? You've got to be kidding. Well actually I'm not.

First it's a one-stop shop. The psychiatrist can diagnose your difficulty, prescribe medication if needed and offer some therapeutic counselling. Their fees are enormous! Well yes they are above those of a GP, but not when you compare them to the fees of other specialists. Secondly these fees are refunded via Medicare. There is a gap payment you must make, but this will only be for a short time, depending on how often you see the psych. Remember the Medicare safety net. Look it up on the Medicare website.

You have been hurting for so long without adequate help. Now is the time to get everything in perspective and stay with one provider. It will not happen in a hurry, which is something you must recognise.Whatever troubles you has been around for several years and my guess is will take a while to get rid of whatever it is. I firmly believe it will only get worse the longer you procrastinate.

Ask your GP to refer you to a a really good psych. They do vary, good, bad, indifferent, just like any medical specialist. Keep going even when you feel life is getting worse. It does that. I have found that when something gets very uncomfortable, hurting or plain hard to do, then you are getting somewhere.

I would love to hear more from you.

Mary

[Jaimi17]

Thank you Mary.. so for the late reply.. I feel like you're right..

I honestly feel like nothing can be fixed. I thought I'd be ok by now but I feel no happiness. Everything I love, I've lost interest in.. I think about what happened to me over and over from the start to the end of my day. I just want to be myself again and happy.. but happiness is very short lived. I am always so tired.. I don't want to be apart of anything, I don't even want to go to work or talk to people. I feel like no one understands and its a waste of time or they judge me. Im just really really tired. I feel like im carrying rocks through my body and I feel like apart of me is missing and no matter how much I try to fix myself, Nothing works.