i know I'm not the only one

[lard]

I've read and heard other stories which are the same but it is hard not to feel alone. pressures of work and family build up. lately i feel i need to scream at boss or wife and say i'm done and just walk.i get treated like I'm stupid and don't know what I'm talking about. I've been doing my job for 18 yrs but yet i get 2nd guessed at every turn. even my own family practically disregards my input. my mind doesn't stop from these pressures. i feel invisible

I'm one to bottle up rather than confrontation even though my facade is the opposite. i feel i can't tell my family as my man hood and strength will be taken away. i thought i could push through this but the last 12 months its just got harder. i know i haven't got it the worst, the problem is talking, admitting and seeking advice/help. the confidence to talk face to face about it. even now i know what i want to write but its just not coming out..........

thanks for the whinging space

[Agnetha]

you are like me lard, you need time to yourself to scream and get angry and stop feeling invisible. It is good you know this now at least. take care

[Maureen]

Yup, totally understand where you're at. I'm the best at not discussing my feelings and hiding all issues. You'll find here at the forums it is easier to open up. Everyone understands and wants to help. Well done for starting a discussion here.

Maureen

[Neil_1]

Hi there elle eh arrrggg dee (just wanted to spell your name out instead of say it 😉

Thanx for coming to Beyond Blue and also for providing your post.

Getting second guessed – it happens and it really makes you feel useless or small (or that’s how it feels to me).   A lot of the times it’s at home – where you think actually that things would be nice and comforting mostly (and I guess for the most part it is), but it still hurts like hell when it happens.

It’s like “ohhhh right, yes, I’m half a century old, but no, I don’t know that or how to do that and need to be corrected” or things like that.  It really does get to me, and I’m assuming this happens to you also.  It’s almost like belittling in a way.  Then your mind grabs hold of that and runs around inside your head, like a dog with a tennis ball that won’t return it.  Thinks it’s a big game, that he’s got it and try as you might, you can’t get it.

You know, I think it might be worth telling at least your partner, wife or significant other half (hopefully there’s just one of them and not three – otherwise you’d have to say it three times ;), but to sit down with them and talk it through.  Do they know that you’re suffering in the first place, or would you saying something come as a big surprise to them?  If they already know, then that might make it a bit easier to broach this subject.

Please remember you’ve done a very positive thing in coming here and expressing your concerns.  But it IS good to unload and to talk, to seek help, advice?  I hope you’re able to take the next step.

Would love to hear back from you.

Neil

[geoff]

dear Lard,  I'm sorry but I had wanted to reply back to you, but the power in the street has only just come back on.
Thanks for contacting us, and please never feel as though you are alone trying to cope with this, because
I'm sure there are many people who feel exactly the same as you, including me, and to be taken as though your input isn't
worth a cents worth is depressing in itself.
We have to work out why we want to bottle our emotions up, maybe it's because we don't know how to express those deep
emotions that are troubling us, or we don't feel as though anyone will believe, let alone understand what has happened
to us, and just brush it all aside, but the stronger our facade is the harder it is to be able to communicate, because
it's our dignity we feel as though we are losing, the strength we have built up over the years, and the fear of being
a failure crosses our mind, but it's not this at all, that's depression eating away at you.
What you have written explains exactly how you feel, and it's enough to start talking with your doctor, because it's
impossible to lay everything on the line at once, you can't think of all your problems at once.
Good talking to you. Geoff.

[Crossy17]

Hi mate, 

i know exactly what your going through as I'm going through the same myself at the moment. I am seeking help and have reached out to my GP and also a psychologist. I'm not one for talking as it seems weak and feminine. But I gotta put my machoness aside for the benefit of my family ( fiancée & 2dogs ). It's hard mate I don't deny it, us males are pre wired not to show emotion or be sensitive. I am struggling aswell bud. Hope ya get this, you are not alone mate