I just don't know what to do

[Mikhaela]

I am 12 and i just started year 7 and i have severe depression after taking the k10 depression test multiple times over the cours of a couple of months the battery on the phone has gradually gotten lower and recently my parents went on a cruise for their anniversary and i SH myself but i got addicted and when my parents got back my right hand had scars on them and one of my friends at school noticed and so did my other friends but this one friend knew immediately what it was and i told the others it was my dog and they (i think) believed me. but i just dont feel the same and im not sure what to do because i feel that if im left alone for too long i will SH again and respiral out of control. i want to go to the psych ward near me to help myself but im scared of the costs and what my nit picky older brother would think. e would probably say it was for attention but i think i need help but i just dont know what to do and all areas are blocked and i just cant find a way out. please someone anyone im spiralling and i cant help myself or let anyone else know whats going on please help me.

[Sophie_M]

Hi Mikhaela,
We wanted to reach out and say thank you for sharing on the forums today, and also to check in with you to make sure that you’re ok.
This is something you could discuss with the counsellors here at Beyond Blue, whether on the phone (1300 22 4636) or via webchat
If you’re feeling unable to avoid acting on thoughts of suicide or self-harm, this is an emergency, so please call 000 (triple zero).
Community members have mentioned an app called ‘Calm Harm’ being helpful for managing self-harm urges. This may be a helpful tool.
Thank you again for posting, it’s a great step to have taken. There’s lots of lovely people on the forums who may be able to relate.
Kind regards,
Sophie M

[Summer Rose]

Hi Mikhaela

Thank you for having the courage to share your story with us. I am so very sorry that you are feeling unwell.

When my daughter was thirteen she became unwell. She tried to keep her experience a secret but I could sense something was wrong. I was so grateful when she told me what was happening for her because that meant that I could help her.

I’m wondering if you could talk to mum or dad? Or maybe an Aunty, a friend’s parents or a teacher? Someone you are comfortable talking to.
I’m suggesting this because I think it’s important that you have heaps of love and kindness right now and help to access the professional support that you want and need.

I understand that this might feel scary and be hard to do. If you can’t say the words, it’s okay to write them down and share your thoughts that way.

You have shown great courage to reach out here and I believe you can do it.

Please always remember that dark thoughts do pass, they’re  often like rain clouds that roll in and then roll away. And while people fall ill, they also get better. You hang in there sweet girl.

Kind thoughts to you