I hate them SO much

[Earth Girl]

A lot of people don't seem to understand that some parents have.. extreme layers. When I try to talk to people about my parents, they say things like "It may just seem that way" "They seem really nice", but they have only seen them when they are being nice. This morning, I feel really mad at them (more so than usual). I can feel the anger in my heart and I'm doing deep breathing right now because I am pissed. My sisters sometimes can see that they are bad and other times they tell me that they are nice, but my parents are a lot nicer to them than they are to me. Even when they aren't nice to them, they still aren't as mean to them as they are towards me. Last year, my younger sister got treated the same way they treat me over the phone (my Dad saying "hi" then saying "I have another phone call so bye" - that's literally all he said) and my Mum talking AT her instead of TO her. She talked to me about it and was crying. I felt really bad, but at least she could temporarily see it through my perspective because they have treated me like that since I was in Primary school. They ignore me and obviously I don't mean that they don't say things like good morning to me or they bump into me without noticing, they do, but that's it, that's pretty much all they do unless other people are around. When they are mean to me, I very nicely explain the problem to them and they usually get pissed, I remain nice, they still continue being mean and after a while I can not take it anymore and then they say "Well, just be nice and I will listen" I was nice to you for ages!

My Mum:

* Gets furious when someone doesn't listen or interrupts her even though she is the worst listener and most interruptive person.

* Lies without realizing she's lying.

* Forgets mean things she did and when I bring it up nicely, she gets mad.

* Has to say practically everything out loud.

* Tells everyone everything even when I specifically ask her not to.

* Gives the silent treatment when you haven't even done anything wrong.

Etc

Dad:

* Tells Mum and I that we need to be more tolerant even though he gets mad so easily. 

* Was kind of violent when I was younger and I'm scared to speak up because I am worried he might slap me (I'm serious).

* Tries to make my Mum think she hates woman even though he hates woman.

Etc.

They put words into my mouth and break my trust all the time (not that I trust them anymore).

They are VERY temperamental. They literally talk about how they "deserve" better children. I keep my mouth shut.

[Earth Girl]

Does anyone else have parents who seem so lovely, but are actually really temperamental behind closed doors (like at home and in the car) and have to deal with people trying to get you to realize how "nice" they are even though they have only seen their nice side and would hate them more than you do if they really knew them? 

[Earth Girl]

They keep saying really mean things to me and our fights usually go like this:

Mum: Hurts my feelings. Me: Mum, that's not nice. Mum: Aughhh! I didn't mean it in a bad way! I just... I just meant... It was a joke! Me: It wasn't a nice "joke." Mum: I wouldn't have said it if I knew it would cause this reaction! Me: Do not put this on me! Starts getting more upset Mum: I just don't want to get in trouble! Me: Stop saying that! That's not what I'm doing! You're the one doing the wrong thing! Mum: Either angrily walks off and gives me the silent treatment or angrily says "I don't want to talk about this right now! Lets leave it for now!" Me: Just say it nicely! Mum: Let's just leave it for now!!!! Me: Why can't you just say it nicely?! You're so rude! Goes to my room to cry. Mum a few hours later: Do you want to have a talk about it? Me: Explains to her why I'm upset. Mum: Oh, I see. Okay, I am sorry... about um... what I said that made you... um upset. Me: I'm upset because you... So could you please say why you are sorry. Mum: Oh okay. *Gives another bad apology* Is it okay now? I hope I am forgiven. 🙂 Me: Knows she'll eventually get mad if I say that was a bad apology, but as far as her apologies go, it could be worse. Yeah... Mum: That's good. *Usually walks off or occasionally asks me if we can hug* Me: No thanks. Mum: Gets offended and starts talking about how she feels rejected and how it's like when I was a newborn, I didn't look at her in the eyes and it reminds her of that and she "knows it sounds silly because I was just a newborn, but it does hurt her feelings"

Dad: Hurts my feelings. Me: That's not nice. Dad: I didn't mean to say it, it just came out before I thought about it haha. Me: *Thinks about how he did mean to say it because I usually let him get away with it and regrets it not because he hurt my feelings, but because I called him out* Dad: Okay, I'm sorry. Me: You keep saying things like that and it's not nice. I may look in the mirror a lot, but when I was in school, I got called ugly everyday so now I want to look nice all the time. People would shout out "She's so ugly!" when I walked past them. Dad: Well, people at school called me big head haha. Me: *Thinks about how he does have a big head, but not in that way and wonders why he thinks that is worse than being called ugly*. Me: There are so many bad things I could say about you, but I keep them to myself, even when you put me down. Dad: Okay, that's very good of you. *Said in uncaring way* Me: It hurt my feelings because:... Dad: Shrugs I take it back!?

And often when I fight with my Mum, she'll give me the silent treatment when I tell her why it hurt my feelings so I'll say it again and she goes "Stop repeating yourself!" I'll tell her it's because she doesn't listen and she goes "I listened to everything you said!" I tell her she doesn't understand though, then she goes "I do, stop repeating yourself! I cry a lot and act really stressed and she'll tell me to "calm down!" I tell her I just need some time to calm down because I'm stressed and then she waits about 20 seconds and then goes "Okay, you can stop now!" And I usually don't defend myself when it comes to my Dad because he can get SO angry that I'm literally worried that he will slap me if I defend myself too much.

They "apologize" and in just about 2 weeks (or sometimes even about 2 hours) they do the exact same thing again even if they say they won't. Then I get upset with them again and then they go "Oh, not again! We're not perfect! Other families are much worse!"